Documenting what failed and what did not work is equally important as documenting things which worked out ...

In most languages, we call the guitar strings.

In c, we call them guitar const char *

Exactly

I have a teacher that does nothing but reading from powerpoint slides.
Wrote a script that does a better job.

Simple flowchart XD

Today was a good day. User asked for a tricky feature. Right after telling him it is done he left this :)

"Any fool can write code that a computer can understand.
Good programmers write code that humans can understand."

— Martin Fowler,
Refactoring: Improving the Design of Existing Code

God save us all from JS 😑

Makes sense

lol.

What IDIOT designed this up? And I see that’s common in most laptops these days!

+ I’m an animator at Rockstar Games
- Wow what do you do
+ Don’t ask

What a developer says vs what they really mean.

Machine Learning

When you don't pay your full stack developers

Ai WiLl TaKe OvEr OuR jObS.

Such a relief

It hurts my brain when people use him as an example of successful drop outs.

For starters, this dude's a literal fucking genius. The average person that considers dropping out is far away from the level of intelligence that Bill had when he dropped out.

average_person != bill_gates

"Let me review your code, I used to work as a toilet cleaner"

Me: good day, how can I help you?
Client: *explains issue*
Me: alright, let's take a loo.... *AACHOOOO*
.
.
M: my apologies sir, that came out of nowhe... *ACHOOO*
M: do you have a second sir? My apologies!
C: sure man take your time 😁

*30 seconds later, nose seems to have calmed down*

M: back I am, apologies for the inconvenience!
C: no problem, it happens!
M: where was I?.... Right, I was going t...
*ACHOOOOOOOOOOO*
*ACHOOOOOOO*
AH... AH... AAAAH..... ACHOOOOO*
M: I'm very sorry, I'm going to put you through to a collegue!
*puts through to collegue*
*goes to bathroom*
.
.
*returns to desk*

*tringgggg*
Me: good afternoon sir, how may I hel... *A-MOTHERFUCKING-CHOOOOO* (thinking: oh for fucking fucks sake)
C: bless you!
M: thank you! Apologies, I seem to be having a snee.. *CHOOOOOOOO*
.
.
.
*sniffs a few times*
- zing attack.

*collegue yells at me to transfer my call*
*transfers call*

Me: thanks man, idk what's wrong with me hahah... *ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*

OH FUCKING HELL 😠

I will take the frustration of seeing technology not properly working in Germany with me to the grave. Ticket automat crashing if you directly select the destination, but if you follow the instructions on their piece of paper stuck to the automat to go first to the "Regionaltariff" button and then select your destination, that works. If you have to put a piece of paper explaining your software, because if you do it otherwise, it crashes, maybe you should think about the fact that it sucks.

To anyone that claims to be a masochist

I would die -.- xD

Big event. Massive traffic in production, so we were monitoring all night.

I was in a room with 2 devs of my team, a marketting girl, my boss and a designer... chilling.

Suddenly the production is down.

Boss: production is down, anyone can check?
Me: already on it
Dev1: it looks ok for me
Dev2: me too
Me: wait what? Impossible everything is down
Dev1: oh I refreshed the page it's not working
Me: don't stay on the page refreshing it like you are fucking monkeys. Give me useful intel or be quiet.
Market girl: is it working?
...
Guys is it working?
...
Hello?
Me: Not yet we are looking. Don't distract me.
Boss: client called us. They want it online now.
Dev1&2: he's looking
... 1 min later...
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Me: SHUT THE FUCK FOR FUCKING ONE SECOND. ALL OF YOU, OUT NOW. YOU ARE FUCKING MONKEYS WHO CAN'T DO SHIT. IF YOU CAN'T HELP JUST SHUT YOUR DAMN SHITHOLE. DEVS, LOOK WITH ME. MARKET GIRL PREPARE A FUCKING POST-MORTEM MAIL. BOSS GET THE CLIENT ON THE PHONE AND STALE. DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOBS.

That's how I ended up screaming at everyone... the rest of the night went in complete silence and I fixed the issue 2min after the got quiet or busy.

I love how tutorials advocating against ORMs use examples with tables that are only 5 columns wide.

O(FUCK)

"This is not an application: it's a bug pretending to be an application." (This comment was left as an app review on Google Play Store)

Should've gone with AC

In C# you are not able to do bitwise operations on generic enums so you have to cast them to an integer via object... 😐 Apart from that, this awesome code shows what C# can do 😊

Big-O Emoji