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Joined devRant on 9/17/2017
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Billing by hourly rates is like getting paid by lines of code: the worst coders will get the highest scores.5
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i found text messages of my gf cheat on me 20 minutes before i start work today and the whole day i am mentally paralyzed, stunned, confused, lost, flabbergasted, and completely at loss of words. almost couldnt focus on work at all12
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Every now and then you need a kick to your nutsack and vagsack to realize how replaceable you are and be humbled.
For that I am opening a gym where we train for this event by kicking your ball sack.11 -
YESSS!!!! IT'S GREEN!!! FINALLYYYY!!!!!!!!
3 weeks ago I started building this CI pipeline. Finally, I see something GREEN!! YAYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
P.S. A complete build requires 23GB of disk space, lasts 1h40m, and artifacts are too big to be cached, so everything must be shoved into a single CI job.
You've gotta love building monoliths...6 -
In my case, the most unrealistic deadline was when I was put on a project for 30 person days in 2008. The project had been running for about 6 months at that point.
I spoke to the project manager about my tasks and she told me to finish the fat client. So I immersed myself in the sources. And I was horrified to realize that not only was it not even a POC, but the performance was lousy to say the least. It took about 70 (sic!) seconds to start the program, read in about 20 records from a database and display them as a hierarchical structure.
I asked the PM when I was supposed to have finished my work, and her response was, "Yesterday."
"Very funny," I replied.
"No, really," she said, "the deadline was yesterday."
It took me an afternoon to speed up the fat client startup to 6 seconds. And then it took us another two weeks or so to identify the processes in discussions with the technical project manager. Because that didn't exist yet either.
About 1.5 years after the deadline, the software system - consisting of the fat client, mainframe modules and purchased software - was stable enough to be rolled out. -
In a slack call just realised I've zoned out for the last half hour and it's now lunch time and I'm hungry...7
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Wake up, it's 1983...
Node? React? Copilot? Programming Socks? Furries?
Man, I told you to not drink so much the last night, now wash your face and grab a coffee, you have a program for the VAX-11 to finish.11 -
Have you ever been pair coding with someone who uses shotgun debugging? I am about to claw my eyes out! What is shotgun debugging you ask?
Code doesn't work... What do we do?
I start thinking about possible flow, how to go back to what works, where to insert debugging statements. My partner interrupts my thought and says - what if we change this variable name?
...uh what?
What if that fixes it
It won't!
Well how do you know if you don't try?
I change the variable name - of course nothing works and now I forgot the possible solution I was thinking about...
Starting over... I again start coming close to the idea... Interrupts me again. What if we comment out this random line?
Why what's your reasoning?
Answer: *Shrug* idk might work...
...rinse and repeat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???!
I literally started muting my computer sound so I can not hear him while I think and that helps tremendously. This is programming not magic, people!!! Stop throwing random "what if" suggestions!14 -
get bug
find slack context
senior describes some stuff as magic and it's unfortunately not working as expected
fml2 -
User: - I'm seeing a redcircle with a white dash.
Me: - What is a "redcircle with a white dash".
User: - It's like a stop sign.
I hope I won't meet this user on a one-way street.2 -
I currently have a design meeting with the CEO. He joined the meeting on his iPhone mini and the designs are for a desktop app.
What a joke5 -
Microsoft has the audacity to put "Get the new Outlook (It's free for Windows Users!)" on my lock screen. Extraordinarily annoying because:
- It's just the web app packaged in the SHITTIEST electron wrapper you ever did see.
- IT FUCKING HAS ADS8 -
“Does god exist?”, I typed into a green terminal window after granting GPT-7 root access to our grid. “…now it does”, echoed from every speaker.4