Brb. I need to sleep.

Is anybody else's devRant suddenly in chinese?

Got this message from my CEO: "When are we going to have a perfect working version? 100% sure without bugs? "

How do I even respond to this? "We are wondering the same"?

(for context, he requested an early alpha build of a certain feature)

Usually I come here to share rants/negativity but this time I wanna share an happy moment I had yesterday as a programmer.

In lots of instances I struggled to work on personal projects: I feel the desire to code cool stuff but I've often self-sabotaged myself by doing stuff like:

- self-enforcing "one man agile methodologies" with tasks, issue boards and lately time tracking
- forcing myself to do long study/research periods about the language/technologies I wanna use before writing the first line of code (and when I was able to actually end my research and get to code most of the stuff I researched was forgotten since cramming information is not effective on the long run)
- forcing myself to stick with all the "best practices" under the sun and to setup countless tools (linters, CI, unit testing...) before even getting a working POC

Usually all these stupid self imposed rules ended up in me procrastinating or pushing trough stuff struggling with headache after headache when coding actually used to feel a mostly fun pursuit to me.

Took lots of time to recognize this monster I created into my head but finally yesterday I did and I gave myself permission to:

- Start programming with just the very basics of the language (while reading a book on said language on the side at a relaxed pace, I can always come back later to improve my code as I learn more)
- Add stuff (unit testing, complex frameworks, CI/CD...) only when I need it
- Do a very basic planning (like a text files listing "must have" features and "nice to have features") and avoid issue boards and stuff, I'm working on a hobby project not on a company or a big OSS projects

It's been so long since the last time I had a programming session where I spent most time actually writing code and not researching and overthinking stuff and it felt great.

You know these bugs, that disappear when you add logging?

Something managers need to understand:

Developers are not a bag of M&M's to pick from and arrange them on the customer's table, neither are they LittleBits or LEGO pieces to click together for the customer to play with.

We can't possibly satisfy every client skill need. We need time to learn, and not by fudging around with the tech in production or similar.

Mojang/ Microsoft no longer understands semantic versioning??

They released a new update for Minecraft, 1.21.5 - but it:

- Adds new features
- Breaks backwards compatibility

Look at this. The left side of the screen was generated in 1.21.5, the right side was in 1.21.4 You can literally see the split down the middle where the trees generate differently because of the update.

This doesn't *matter* but it's just bothersome to me! Fuck you! I'll rant about whatever, no matter how small!

The industry is so incredibly demanding beyond measure.

Please be proficient in:
- Java, C#, Python, TypeScript, ReactJS, AI, UX, COBOL, AWS, DevOps, security, SecOps, Linux, Unix, System Administration, Database Administration,...

Yeah? Give me six years then before you try to overload me with stress in having to deliver top quality code using these.

I actively try to diminish stress in my life and the major cause of stress is my job.

So there I was, maintaining our rock-solid Java 7 codebase, older than this Gen Z intern who still thinks floppy disks are 3D-printed save icons.

First day in, he’s like, “Bro, let’s rewrite this in Next.js! Microservices! Serverless! AI!”

Son, this code has been running longer than your TikTok attention span. It doesn’t need scaling, it needs to keep working.

But nooo, he wants TypeScript. He wants to Dockerize a Hello World. He saw a YouTube tutorial and now thinks Java is dead.

I asked, "Why do we need microservices?"

Silence. Blank stare. You could hear a single thread in our monolith peacefully executing a transaction.

Then he mumbled something about "scalability" and "modern architecture"—like we’re running a billion-dollar SaaS, not a POS that’s been happily running since the Nokia ringtone era.

Microservices? Buddy, our biggest spike is the Sunday brunch buffet reservations when the retirees remember they have grandkids. Sit down.

Inspired by jestdotty's comment:

> *makes spooky JavaScript noises*

What would be a noise or sound that most accurately represents JS?

I‘ll start with two suggestions and we can vote for the most fitting one.

Dear HR,

You're so incompetent, had I followed your instructions I'd have broken the law and endangered my life.

Get fucked.

A.

CEO is blaming a frontend bug for a backend outage. The server simply did not scale with new active clients ))))))

Born to Deus Vult forced to "as per my last email"

OK then

Took a chance at telling my bosses how burned out I am and had a really great discussion with them.

Turns out they want me to lead the front end team, because I'm good at it and can make them do higher quality work. Agreed with me that there's something wrong with the code if you have to use a different IDE lmao.

And I can use my 30+ days of sick leave (which I've never used because I don't get sick) to take time off when I need to. Burn out is a disease.

Not all bosses are shitty.

Hello. Can someone explain me how to build the avatar here? I really can not get it

Do you enjoy pain? Love being mistreated while paying $100 a year for it? Welcome to Apple Developer Enrollment!
You'd think for a company that claims to provide "seamless" experiences, their enrollment process would be super straightforward, but no, get ready to waste incredible time with generic error messages.
"Enrollment through the developer app is not possible for this account".
Great! Just great. My peasant app wasn't worthy of being on the almight App Store anyway. Forgive me for trying, my lord.

WTF.

First, they make you prove your existence with endless verifications. Need a D-U-N-S number? Good luck because it's a nightmare. Support? Barely helpful. And if anything goes wrong? Expect weeks of waiting with zero urgency from Apple.

And that $100? You pay it every single year, just to keep your apps measly alive. Meanwhile, Google charges a one-time $25. Fair? Not in Apple land.

And if they randomly decide your app has an issue? Boom, it'll be gone. No warning, no clear answers, just frustration.

So yeah, if you're a masochist who adores pain, jumping through hoops and paying for the privilege, Apple’s got you covered!

If you use space as indentation I hate you and I want to remove your nails one by one and then dip it in salt.

And then rape the salt.

an AI programmer telling you coding with AI makes you a x10 engineer is like someone telling you autocomplete makes them a x10 novelist

So my wife picked up some gyro meat (double entendre?). Anyway, she forgot feta and pitas. So we substituted parmesan and tortillas. I said we are eating Grexican tonight. Not sure if parmesan is Italian or not. So maybe we are eating Grexican🤌 tonight.

My daughter had her gyro, but the tortilla had ripped a bit. She said she had the ripped burrito. I said the burrito must have been working out, because it was ripped.

It is kind of sad though. We had a really good gyro place in town. But the owner died and so did the business. There are no other gyro places. Not all gyro heros wear capes. RIP

My LLM can beat your LLM.

Mmmmm drunk food 🐓🦃🧀🥯🍳

Managers decided that the support contract with one of our most important third party servers is not worth the money.

Take a guess which server caused an outage for all customers twice already :D

The default name for a developer's programming language should be called BrainFuck (as we know, it exists) because as a developer I often have lots of frustration and I would like to write the following program where asterisks represent cursewords:

******* ****, **** you, **** this ****,
stupid logic, spaghetti ****,
team politics ********,
**** **** ***** ****

In fact, using non-cursewords makes it too nice already.

Holy shit! Just watched "Hardcore Henry". The most Cyberpunk thing I have ever seen. What a wild ride.

Warning, if you have issues with motion sickness then it is not recommended. I don't have issues, but some of the camera work really tested me.

dude1: Some man died from euthanasia.
dude2: He committed suicide?
dude1: No, he was killed by a gang of kids in China.

So I thought of this joke today so its definitely a work in progress. But then I wondered what happened with the suicide machine in Europe. So I found this horrifying account.

https://care.org.uk/news/2024/...

I mean, she got what she paid for...but...this is so fucked. I have seen a few discussions on this and there are complications to this account of what happened. I expect it will take months if not years to sort out what actually happened.

Imagine if it failed due to a dev bug? Who would want to work on such a machine? Seems so fucked.

Fuckers stole my ground. Can't have shit in South Africa

SCP-1776
Object Class: Safe
Description: It is impossible to read this without that characteristic southern accent

I am an ice cube:
- Fully transparent
- Have thousands of tiny cracks inside
- Won’t be around for long

When someone interrupts me during concentrated work:

"Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!"