Meeting with investors? 🤔

"Are you running android?"
"No Samsung"
"So your OS is android"
"No Samsung"

When you find a result on google that has the exact same title as your problem and get a 404 page after clicking it...

My 9 year old son checks out the source code of every website he visits. If he finds something he doesn't understand, he bounces it off me. I love the snot outta that kid ❤️❤️❤️.

Nice try

"Your password must be between 8-20 characters and contain an uppercase letter, a lowercase letter, a number, a special character and a haiku about your childhood pet."

Linux will never be the most installed OS. Just think about how often you had to reinstall Windows.

Leaning Tower of Pisa being a wonder of the world is basically "It's not a bug, it's a feature" example.

Wrong commit...

Told ya!

"The password must be 6 to 32 characters long and must contain atleast one uppercase character, one lowercase character, a special character, the md5 hash of your last name, a dried olive branch and the blood of a unicorn."

Everyone gets a lot of ++ with good programming jokes and I'm sitting here like...

An honest question:
Why is 64 bit x64
and 32 bit x86?

Nothing is more permanent than a temporary fix.

Just remembered joke:

"One man's crappy code is another man's full-time job"

When one of the newest developers submits code that looks 100x better than his usual stuff and you respond "You need to include the link to where you got this"

When I was 10 years old, I spent a lot of time doing random websites on my dad's computer

just finished my graduation, now I need luck for my job interview!

Guys! It's 'code' NOT 'codes'.

I check the newbie's code. [correct]
I check the newbie's codes. [not correct]

Programmers write 'code'. It's an uncountable noun so we cannot pluralize it.

Spies use 'codes'.

Hey guys have you heard about that band called 1023MB? They haven't had a gig yet.

My desk monkey. He serves the purpose of both keeping the monitors dust free and receiving verbal abuse when things go wrong . . .

winrar.rar

ah I want this door mat!

"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning." - Rich Cook

Knock knock

They see me coding,
They hating,
Reviewing and tryna catch me writing dirty.

This is an art..😍😍😍

This is what I found in the logs:
3280546 I had a cup of tea and now it's fixed
9daaf6c copy and paste is not a design pattern
958ca5b It compiles! Ship it!
a9edf8d LAST time, Masahiro, /dev/urandom IS NOT a variable name generator...
438072f 640K ought to be enough for anybody
1fb839b Too lazy to write descriptive message
4d70890 ...
d6ce0c8 Ugh. Bad rebase.
a00b544 Programming the flux capacitor
49715cb Fix my stupidness
4babf07 Do things better, faster, stronger
49b3a7b SEXY RUSSIAN CODES WAITING FOR YOU TO CALL
12c7b55 formatted all
2658c87 and so the crazy refactoring process sees the sunlight after some months in the dark!
2376c89 - Temporary commit.
a83220a I honestly wish I could remember what was going on here...
3347007 work in progress
3382b4c well crap.
109748a Glue. Match sticks. Paper. Build script!
c3f025e Useful text
70394e7 Who knows WTF?!
0d78f14 breathe, =, breathe
5344e39 removed tests since i can't make them green
8a3a6bf better grepping
2777cc4 first blush
cf620ff Continued development...
9591c19 Too lazy to write descriptive message
767e0cd Some shit.
763602a Yes, I was being sarcastic.
8d7a602 /sigh
c6296e5 rats

If Internet Explorer is brave enough to ask you to make it your default browser, you're brave enough to ask that girl out.

What do computers and air conditioners have in common ---- They both become useless when you open windows