Another year, another Advent of Code I drop halfway through.

[during a project discussion]

Client: We've been getting very low results on google lighthouse on the site

Me: The results are highly volatile, don't believe their lies

Client: *shares screen and runns lighthouse test*

Lighthouse test: 95

Me:

Part 2 of my distro hunt

So Manjaro it is (99% sure about it). Now, I'm coming from Kubuntu, which has been pretty nice since pretty much all production environments I deal with run Ubuntu. Now, switching to Arch and also Pacman, that most likely means that I wont be able to run all development environments locally on "bare metal" like I'm used to. I guess I could run everything in Docker, but that seems like a bit of a hassle. What's your ideas/solution?

Welcome to the future guys.

Jesus fucking christ, entering w3schools.com (don't ask) and I immediately get a cookie consent thing shoved in my face.

WHY?! Please don't tell me it's so I can get the 'best experience' because that's straight out bullshit. I don't need cookies and you fucking name it to get 'the best fucking experience' while looking up again how that one PHP or HTML or CSS or WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER thing worked.

E-v-e-r-y GODDAMN site has this nowadays, to 'improve my experience' - I block ads anyways so what's the motherfucking point?!

Mother of FUCKING god.

alskdjaioethsdjlkjrfoikmedr

Yester... TODAY at 4am because of another typical 4am episode

I understood everything.

And I mean EVERYTHING. Remember how I declared that I dropped the search for the worldview that suits me? Well, I somehow found it and it’s surprisingly good.

Maybe I’ll share the notion document.

K boubas bye 😘

Source - Twitter

Companies: We can’t find any senior developers to hire.

Also companies: We pay seniors like juniors.

This should not be called wisdom teeth, should be called stupid teeth
Mother fucker is growing perpendicular.

What fuck is wrong with you bro , grow upwards you dumb fuck!!

The future is finally here

Me: opens the log file for some answers

Log file:

I just think about Microsoft and Apple and how fucked up their shit is and it makes me feel better.

Release.....

Wont happen

Me: Did Sherry let you know that I'm leaving today?

Coworker: what!? No!

Me: yeah... I'm leaving.

Coworker: huh, I'm not surprised...

Me: what is that supposed to mean!?

Co: shit man, this job sucks, I'm not surprised. I'll be leaving right behind you.

Me: oh.... Um... April Fools... 😬

Co: God damnit.

Me: don't worry, I won't tell the boss how you really feel.

Please contact your optician. Hahahahaha

They call it $5/gb hotel wifi, i call it free uncapped 100meg fibre because your security sucks

Oh and they host their entire POS (and database with backups) on the same network accessible to every TV in the hotel

So true 💡

LMFAOOOOOOO

Today I learned:

`/usr` stands for “universal system resources” not “user”

`/dev` stands for “device” not “development”

Had no idea.

Got laid off on Friday because of a workforce reduction. When I was in the office with my boss, someone went into my cubicle and confiscated my laptop. My badge was immediately revoked as was my access to network resources such as email and file storage. I then had to pack up my cubicle, which filled up the entire bed of my pickup truck, with a chaperone from Human Resources looking suspiciously over my shoulder the whole time. They promised to get me a thumb drive of my personal data. This all happens before the Holidays are over. I feel like I was speed-raped by the Flash and am only just now starting to feel less sick to the stomach. I wanted to stay with this company for the long haul, but I guess in the software engineering world, there is no such thing as job security and things are constantly shifting. Anyone have stories/tips to make me feel better? Perhaps how you have gotten through it? 😔😑😐

Binary is easy to teach

When I finished my studies, I was looking for a job and had an interview at a smallish company.

Boss: can you do C?
Me: yes, I have already done some stuff in C.
Boss: I mean, are you really good in C?
Me, growing suspicious: well yes I already have been using it - but anyway, there's also the project documentation for looking up, right?
Boss: uhm, the code IS the documentation.

I envisioned myself being drowned in undocumented spaghetti code and wasn't really keen on that job anymore, but my following question pretty much ended the interview:

Me: oh, I see. Do you have any roadmap for getting your development to a more professional base?

His looks, priceless! He was just shocked when he realised that he had failed my interview, and that I was a fresher made it even harder to digest for him.

It's never a good sign when a team lead writes code like this

Bye Windows, hello Linux!

Oh poor Libre😂

Having debates on order of operations. The one that is hot again is the 6÷2(2+1).
Programming and actual order of operations says the answer is 9, but everyone argues it is 1. Well before 1970 that was the case. SMH. Despite showing them the rules and work, they still say theirs is the correct way.
With programming and Excel formulas I deal with every day I do this without even pausing.

How about no?

Fuck you.

Client: Can I speak to the developer responsible for my website?
Developer: Speaking...
Client: You have a deep voice for a 5 year old.

Had to post this...