I would like to apologize for everything I've said to all devRanters.

- Alexander, Kanye, SidThePajeet, etc

— how much for your services?
— $100, no ass to mouth, no rough stuff
— no, I mean how much to rewrite my app in laravel
— I said no ass to mouth

dev communities can be the most toxic as well as the most welcoming at the same time.

just depends on what your timing is. You can get a bunch of links to help debug your issue or you can get told to "kill yourself".

You never know.

Still not paid. Bitch better have my money

Devrant not loading again... hit refresh... still nothing... is today the day it finally snuffs it?

Sigh with relief as the UI starts to load...

And there it is: a lengthy ode to the best pest control service in Hockaloogie, Alabama.

The natural balance of the universe has been restored.

- went to the store
- get shot
- call 911
- cops arrive before er
- they're suspicious bc you're black
- ask for your license and registration
- you reach for your pocket to get your driver's license
- "he's reaching!", they say as they mag dump into you
- you die
- your family can't afford funeral while m$ valuation goes from 3 trillion dollars to 4 trillion dollars
- murica!

Your life is the reflection of your mind

Modern smartphones: "Powerful", "marvelous", but corporate overlords dictate what you actually get to do with it.

They lock your bootloader and prevent you from installing third-party operating systems.[1] Now they are starting to block third-party app installation only in certain situations, but this will sure as hell escalate.[2]

They block you from using the MicroSD card properly or take away the memory card slot entirely, decide what you are allowed to screenshot[3], and they lock your user data (like browsing history and saved pages) away from yourself to "protect you" from imagined evils. But this "protection" is actually the curse.

They also refuse to implement features people ask for like always starting with the rear camera regardless of the last used camera[4] and let the user backed up saved pages[5]. Something as simple as turning the flashlight on and off while recording a video took over a decade for Samsung to implement when shouldn't have taken a single afternoon.

----

Sources:

[1] Xiaomi prevents unlocking the bootloader but graciously allows it seven days after purchase. I believe that as the buyer, you should be able to install any operating system you like.
[2] (added through edit, hence last) Since Android 16, Google blocks APK installations during phone calls, supposedly to protect against scammers. But if history teaches us anything, it means this will quickly escalate and end with APKs being blocked completely or only installable through ADB, which requires an external computer and a USB cable.
[3] Google and Apple let app developers block users from taking screenshots. This is, for example, used by WhatsApp to prevent screenshots of profile pictures, even though everyone knows one should not put something in a visible spot on the Internet that one does not wish to be preserved. I believe people should have the freedom to screenshot anything that appears on their screen, like desktop operating systems (Windows and Linux) do. The buyer deserves to have the final say on a device they paid for.
[4] https://r1.community.samsung.com/t5...
[5] https://forum.developer.samsung.com/...

Jira is gradually turning from a somewhat serious coworking tool into some sort of bloated social medium for kids with ADHD.

Had my wisdom teeth removed today. Not feeling my entire jaw is a bit strange but I don't believe I had any other strange effects from the sedation and I've been assured that I didn't say anything embarrassing.

Not having those teeth there anymore feels weird. They grew in well, but one developed a cavity that was causing me a headache that has been getting worse for the last 6 weeks.

Sometimes, Google's solutions are worse than the problem they intend to solve.

For example, Google ReCaptchas are worse than spam, especially those with the pictures that fade extremely slowly on purpose. Unlike bots, humans are likely to not finish deliberately annoying captchas to save their precious time. (see http://archive.today/2022.06.25-110... )

In Chrome (mobile version), pull-to-refresh saves the one second it takes to reach for the refresh button in the submenu, but poses a threat of accidental refreshes each time you swipe down intending to scroll up. Over two thousand people have complained about this. ( http://archive.today/2025.02.26-153... )

With Android 4.4, Google blocked write access to memory cards (MicroSD) from all user-installed apps with the exception of app-specific folders so apps can not leave files behind when uninstalling. Google provided no option to change this. (source: http://web.archive.org/web/... )

But for unwanted files, there is already a delete button! Why take away the freedom to use the MicroSD card properly?

Google crippled the usefulness of memory cards for this nonsensical reason.

Google solved these problems with solutions that are worse than the problem.

Just a normal workday for me (play with sound): https://devrant.molodetz.nl/2025063...

I was cited in a decent-ish journal article.
Feels like a win.

I use windows btw

My remote job just ended

People are whining because of the "heat wave".

Guess what idiots, you should have planned like I did. I habituated my body to the heat by going to the sauna three times a week for the last year.

You know, so I can survive global warming.

lmao remember that time I worked for a very respectable payment company for 2 months and made banks before they told me i couldn't use linux (like fuck off lmao) so I quit.

Turns out they were willfully moving drug and whore money lmao

motherfuckerz

In my latest installment of "Swift, WTF?", we look at the "if" conditional in terms of the Swift convention of:

if let x = y { /* ... */ }

so what this does :
1. declares x in the scope of the braced code
2. sets x to y (an ahem, "optional")
3. decides if x is not *nil*, then executes the braced code.

This is very similar in both the visual and the operation to the C code of:

if (int x = y) { /* ... */ }

1. declares x in the scope of the braced code
2. sets x to the value of y
3. if x is not zero, then executes the braced code

which is considered *exceptionally* poor style.

Neither the C nor the Swift construct result in a legitimate boolean value of "true" or "false", although C comes closer than Swift.

In the Swift case the *imaginary* "nil" value has to be interpreted as "false" and thus there must be extra code is for the conditional to check on whatever constitutes the **actual** value of nil in Swift and then set the condition to "false".

(remember boys and girls, "optionals" are not real, they are an imaginary language construct of Swift and have no legitimate counterpart in the CPU operations with memory and registers)

At least in the case of C, if the value of x is zero or NULL (which is 0) then it is technically a "false" which in C is 0. Regardless, it is really poor programming and anyone doing that on my team gets an ear full.

But in Swift this obfuscation of code is common and condoned! Well, why not put more of the program in the condition of the if? In fact, stuff the whole thing in there.. why not? 🙄

This just reenforces my opinion that Swift is not a bird but the stuff that comes out of the underside of the bird. 🐦💩

How is it possible to be busy all day yet feel like time evaporated into a vacuum as if someone called delete(hours) but left not trace?

There was this one time when I was asked to create screenshots of our game for marketing purposes.

The game supported solely the 480i mode.

Once I delivered the screenshots, PM bitched about them being !good, because of the visible interlace.

...the fun times of the Wii era.

guys dancing salsa is like a shamanic magical trip that changes your life forever and gives you Buddhist-level enlightenment

just saying

Anyone else just randomly hit Help > About on programs when you’re bored?

Codeium completely changed to windsurf whatever a fucking windsurf is. But the worst thing, it removed the statistics page that I dominated. Fuckers. It was cool having a 3rd party having some positive stats about you. The new profile page is private, only for yourself and is pure focussed on code generation converting my account from big numbers to no data available. Sad, was so proud.

Also, I had some personal communication with them before, but that's not available anymore either. Again, a nice company turned to some heartless corporate shell by investors.

Sad sad sad, was long ago I was so enthusiastic about a company. Traitors!

somewhere out there, there's a person who ate more mayonnaise than any other person.

Shit.

Thought I had turned off the stove after making dinner but seems it stayed on.

Thankfully the kitchen automatically turns off after a set time, so only the pan and a couple nearby things were lost.

Still, seems some electric wire in the extractor got wrecked because the kitchen line breaker is down and won't go up.

Waking up to your house full of smoke really sends you into panic mode...

when I die, I want to be cremated, because I do NOT want fungi to enter my cranium and do something to my brain. It doesn't matter if it's dead or not. It once held "me", and I wholeheartedly believe that fungi can make it tick again, or extract "me" out of it to make me a part of them. Who knows what they do to people. Just imagine dying and waking up suspended in mucus while 36TET microtonal music plays.

You know what I find truly despicable? Consultants who grossly over-sell worthless digital products.

Take a guy who throws together 2 text boxes and a list in Figma and calls it: "The disruptive platform that will solve all your problems at once today!". Are you fucking kidding me? Such an insult to people's intelligence.

There is a saying: "A salesman will sell you a dirty cloth for the price of a house".

when you're adding whiskey to your coffee during work hours, you know you really should find a new job.

"We really struggle to find people with this skil set"

So you're going to hire me, pay well, and not be full of shit, right?

Opened a legacy PHP file from 2008.

No functions.
2,000+ lines.
Inline SQL.
HTML inside echo statements.
A single if (true) wrapping the entire thing like some cursed gift box.

At the top:
// Do not modify. Works perfectly.

At the bottom:
It writes to two databases. Only one exists.

Somewhere in the middle:
It sends an email…
to the client’s ex-wife.

I closed the file.
Rebooted my laptop.
Took a walk.
Still not okay.