This...

Has it ever happened to someone that when you start working on a project, the clients requirements are as good as a tricycle but one month into project and somehow the project has turned into a water fuelled tricycle powered by developers tears 😐

Okay Google

It works 😄😄

How programmers comment their code

Fucking hell. If I like your bloody app, I'll go rate it myself you fucktwaddle. Don't ask me to rate it just after I've opened it for the first time.

Manager: you can leave earlier today
Me:

Contributor badge 👍

3 hours long Scrum Meetings

I thought i'd see what the avatars look like with different color eyes.
I personally like red. It really brings out the undying hatred I have for my peers.

Some of the best mentoring has actually been from the devRant community on how not to get burned out as a developer.

Take it section by section. Don’t spend a lot of time on one part. Work on it for a bit then move on to a new part and so on.

Thanks devRant Community

Once upon a time I was teaching high schoolers Unity/C#. Noisy boy asked me if it was possible to create a robot in C#.

I told him to take printer, take it apart and turn it upside down in the way that printing drum would touch the ground, and then to put a laptop with his C# program on top of it.

When the program will launch, printer will try to print and the whole thing will roll slowly. Isn’t that a robot? You just need to think wider and define what robot is at first.

He was lost in thoughts and completely silent to the end of the lecture.

A few months ago, I decided to let go some old clients with bad behavior and/or bad projects, since I noticed this was affecting my mental health (lowering my self esteem, make me feel depressed, anxious, etc).

I was exhausted of doing miracles in projects without git, build files, staging enviroments (yes... you can imagine), and receive all sort of curses when sudenly something stopped to work.

I set some requirements to work with any new project/client: 1) project needs to be under version control, 2) it must have staging enviroment, 3) I must work with build files.

As I still have contracts running, I'm communicating this to clients as soon as I finish my obligations.

Today, one of these clients told me they are leaving to work with another developer.

Reason: They said my new requirements are unreasonable and they prefer doing the old way.

Yesterday's JR web dev interview:
👨🏻‍💻: Experience?
👶: Well JS, pyhton, UX Design and bit of Sass.
👨🏻‍💻: Feel like you'll have a hard time learning PHP?
👶: Well if it needs to be PHP, I can learn it.. Are you using a certain CMS?
👨🏻‍💻: Cool, good. Yeah we're using WordPress and need to support our sites for IE8.
👶:... Well.. ehm.. *runs away and screams in panic 💨*

The good spaghetti code stuff

Ranters this week

Bulma framework, thanks for existing!

Lightweight, CSS only, very fucking easy to use and understand and a beautiful!

As a backend/server/security guy, front end is hell on earth for me. I understand the basics but that's it.

This fucker makes it so simple!

People who assign vague tasks to you, without any context or anything remotely resembling a brief, for a project you know almost nothing about. And then expect you to be able to magically work out what they're actually wanting. Whilst demanding ridiculous turnaround times. I mean, are you fucking serious?

Haha. Waiting to see how this will go

JavaScript guys!! 🤣😅😅

"We are looking for a developer with 10 years of GDPR experience."

Encoding issues always give me �headache�.

My LinkedIn profile bio:

... however I’m not interested in hybrid mobile or contract work.

My LinkedIn “notes to recruiters”:

... I’m not interested in hybrid mobile or contract work.

My preferences:

- ticked full time permanent
- listed native technologies in the tag selector.

Email this morning:

Hi are you interested in the below role:

Role: Hybrid mobile developer
Salary: xxxxx
Type: 6 - 12 month contract.

No I am not you fucking fucktard. Read my fucking profile or go fuck yourself with a fucking cactus!

At Job interview.

Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Me: I see myself as the leader of a raider group, robbing and scavenging together pieces of what is left of the civilization in hopes to build a weapon powerful enough to take the world back from a rogue AI, which I built myself few years earlier.

Interviewer: What!?

Me: What?

lol 😂😂😂

Having a baby while starting an IT company and learning IT at the same time.

Found myself crying and swinging a bat， listening to Limp Bizkit as i remembered what it felt to be 13 and being made fun of coz i hadn't kissed a girl yet.

All those fingerprints... I am TRIGGERED. It's like he stuck his fingers into a philly cheese steak and then smeared them all over the screen.

How today is going...

That feeling...

Just tech stuff mate