Facts.

Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.

When the senior Linux engineer puts a terminal game on a server everyone uses which launched at login and after a little you start hearing oh's, wtf's, laughing and everything and then you suddenly have a whole room of Linux engineers playing some kinda terminal space invaders game while doing customer support.

😆

A super creepy webcrawler I built with a friend in Haskell. It uses social media, various reverse image searches from images and strategically picked video/gif frames, image EXIF data, user names, location data, etc to cross reference everything there is to know about someone. It builds weighted graphs in a database over time, trying to verify information through multiple pathways — although most searches are completed in seconds.

I originally built it for two reasons: Manager walks into the office for a meeting, and during the meeting I could ask him how his ski holiday with his wife and kids was, or casually mention how much I would like to learn his favorite hobby.

The other reason was porn of course.

I put further development in the freezer because it's already too creepy. I'd run it on some porn gif, and after a long search it had built a graph pointing to a residence in rural Russia with pictures of a local volleyball club.

To imagine that intelligence agencies probably have much better gathering tools is so insane to think about.

Turns out, double tapping the rant too fast will not ++ it, but open it (sometimes twice even).

Not certain if it's a bug or just my shitty touchscreen, but make sure you tap more slowly if you have similar problems.

me, browsing the web: oh wow what a cool css framework, bookmarked, ill totally use it for my next project

me, making a project: "free bootstrap templates"

Ever wanted cheat codes to devRant? Well, that's weird. But here you go, I guess.

Since the avatars do not use any external assets (Such as images), all avatars are generated. To be friendly to people who want to make third-party devRant clients (such as devRantron), avatars are generated server-side, so that the assets don't need to be distributed, and third-party programmers don't need to work out rendering avatars.

But this allows you to cheat a little.

The devRant avatars API works like this: you request a really long URL from the API, specifying the IDs of each cosmetic item the user has active, and it returns a PNG file. But you don't need an auth token to generate an avatar (which makes sense), so the avatar API is essentially a sandbox you can play around with if you have the time and patience.

You can write a really good avatar previewer with this knowledge, and see your avatar with a white tiger, even if you don't have the ++s

The real Russian roulette for server admins 😂

"There's nothing more permanent than a temporary hack." - Kyle Simpson

CSS is so unfair. Children will never be able to find out who their parents are!

I'm an experienced developer, in my facebook I liked all the pages about programming languages and developing, but Facebook keeps advertising me "the book to learn how to code in 24 hours" or "the tutorial to build a website without paying a developer" or the one in the image below.

What the fuck facebook? Are you trying to say I'm useless?

Learning a new technology:
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
6. Ohh, cool feature~

At a busy restaurant.
Person 1: oh my God this man here is having a heart attack. Is there a doctor here?
Person 2: here's ten reasons why Kotlin is better than Java for Android development

A lot of the people are complaining about working in inhumane conditions. I want to debunk some bullshit that I think is causing this.

Devs are hard to find. That makes you valuable. A good dev that actually works for 30-40 hours per week is extremely hard to find.
The relationship with your employer / client should be simple: you work, they pay. What you do NOT:
1. Do not take responsibility for other people's decisions
2. Do not internalize other people's problems (you've got your own, better stick to them)
3. Do not let ANYONE guilt trip you into anything that you're not indeed guilty of.
4. Do NOT work for an effective rate that's significantly lower than you know you can get elsewhere.

There are indeed some utterly evil assholes out there that will try to manipulate you, into thinking that you're "part of the project", or that "you're all a team". Yeah, you are, but when it comes to making money, you'll only get the salary, regardless of how successful your work will be. THEY have a motivation to stay up late, to work extra hours, etc. You DO NOT. If you do that, and don't get paid extra, you're working for free, which means that you're not a professional.

Are you a professional? Then have respect for yourself, and bill for every fucking second of your time. Don't let the assholes think they own you.

As a professional, you MUST do EXACTLY what you're paid to do. No more, no less. Well, if you're feeling good about it, then you can do slightly more. And anyone that's demanding more, basically has no respect for you, and doesn't consider you a professional. That is the plain truth. See it as it is, and handle those scumbags accordingly.

When she's into IT

Went to bed last night with my code not working. Woke up, ran the app and IT WORKED! I have no clue what I did last night it's all a blur, but apparently I fixed the problem in my sleep. #SleepCoder

Just a random thought, I sometimes in my sleep am able to switch my fucking alarm off, so it will be good if an app can move the entire stop/snooze button randomly on the screen. It will be effective I guess, what do you guys think?

Good job Autodesk

Finally ditched Linux and am back on the original and best :p

Old fart joke received from another old fart :) simply had to share as I am still laughing 😂

Normal ghosts: "Boo"
Developer ghosts: "Bool"

Is it expected for a new arrival to post a 'Hello World'? Only I don't normally do what's expected. Actually, I don't normally do normal. Then again, I don't know what I am doing most of the time. Or where I am. Or who I am.

Fedora's warnings are on point

Installed Linux on an old windows laptop. This is my conversation 5 minutes ago...

Wife: "Have how you got internet?"
Me: "What do you mean, it has a wireless adapter built in?"
Wife: "But it's not Windows?"

WTF!!!

Me: "Pass my phone, this is going on devRant"
Wife: "Please no, not again"

To the junior student in my university who copied my CV from top to bottom:

Fuck you and your cockless ancestors. I hope you never get a solid job using that CV. I curse you and your copied CV and all the others that might use it. You are the reason why companies make the recruitment process to complicated. Because retards like you can't be bothered to use your creativity to make something original. Fuck you asshole

Happy Diwali to all the dev-rantis from India

Me: “I want the AWS instance with 2TB of RAM.”

Friend: “What on earth for!?”

Me: “I need to run the Slack client and Chrome at the same time.”

When your girlfriend bathroom is highly active on github

client: i want to make an e-commerce site.
.
.
developer: how much are you willing to spend?
client: i'm on a tight budget, as cheap/low as possible.
.
.
web development on a budget y'all :------)