Details
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AboutEnthustiastic Backend Dev / DevOps / Manager / Architect. A jack of all trades.
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SkillsC#, Postgres, Python, K8s, Terraform, GCP, AWS, Azure + all of the other shit I've toyed with for years
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LocationDenmark
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Github
Joined devRant on 6/28/2016
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I AM TIRED
warning: this rant is going to be full of negativity , CAPS, and cursing.
People always think and they always write that programming is an analytical profession. IF YOU CANNOT THINK IN AN ANALYTICAL WAY THIS JOB IS NOT FOR YOU! But the reality could not be farther from the truth.
A LOT of people in this field whether they're technical people or otherwise, just lack any kind of reasoning or "ANALYTICAL" thinking skills. If anything, a lot of of them are delusional and/or they just care about looking COOL. "Because programming is like getting paid to solve puzzles" *insert stupid retarded laugh here*.
A lot of devs out there just read a book or two and read a Medium article by another wannabe, now think they're hot shit. They know what they're doing. They're the gods of "clean" and "modular" design and all companies should be in AWE of their skills paralleled only by those of deities!
Everyone out there and their Neanderthal ancestor from start-up founders to developers think they're the next Google/Amazon/Facebook/*insert fancy shitty tech company*.
Founder? THEY WANT TO MOVE FAST AND GET TO MARKET FAST WITH STUPID DEADLINES! even if it's not necessary. Why? BECAUSE YOU INFERIOR DEVELOPER HAVE NOT READ THE STUPID HOT PILE OF GARBAGE I READ ONLINE BY THE POEPLE I BLINDLY COPY! "IF YOU'RE NOT EMBARRASSED BY THE FIRST VERSION OF YOU APP, YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG" - someone at Amazon.
Well you delusional brainless piece of stupidity, YOU ARE NOT AMAZON. THE FIRST VERSION THAT THIS AMAZON FOUNDER IS EMBARRASSED ABOUT IS WHAT YOU JERK OFF TO AT NIGHT! IT IS WHAT YOU DREAM ABOUT HAVING!
And oh let's not forget the tech stacks that make absolutely no fucking sense and are just a pile of glue and abstraction levels on top of abstraction levels that are being used everywhere. Why? BECAUSE GOOGLE DOES IT THAT WAY DUH!! And when Google (or any other fancy shit company) changes it, the old shitty tech stack that by some miracle you got to work and everyone is writing in, is now all of a sudden OBSOLETE! IT IS OLD. NO ONE IS WRITING SHIT IN THAT ANYMORE!
And oh my god do I get a PTSD every time I hear a stupid fucker saying shit like "clean architecture" "clean shit" "best practice". Because I have yet to see someone whose sentences HAVE TO HAVE one of these words in them, that actually writes anything decent. They say this shit because of some garbage article they read online and in reality when you look at their code it is hot heap of horseshit after eating something rancid. NOTHING IS CLEAN ABOUT IT. NOTHING IS DONE RIGHT. AND OH GOD IF THAT PERSON WAS YOUR TECH MANAGER AND YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO THEM RUNNING THEIR SHITHOLE ABOUT HOW YOUR SIMPLE CODE IS "NOT CLEAN". And when you think that there might be a valid reason to why they're doing things that way, you get an answer of someone in an interview who's been asked about something they don't know, but they're trying to BS their way to sounding smart and knowledgable. 0 logic 0 reason 0 brain.
Let me give you a couple of examples from my unfortunate encounters in the land of the delusional.
I was working at this start up which is fairly successful and there was this guy responsible for developing the front-end of their website using ReactJS and they're using Redux (WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS TO ELIMINATE PASSING ATTRIBUTES FOR THE PURPOSE OF PASSING THEM DOWN THE COMPONENT HIERARCHY AGIAN). This guy kept ranting about their quality and their shit every single time we had a conversation about the code while I was getting to know everything. Also keep in mind he was the one who decided to use Redux. Low and behold there was this component which has THIRTY MOTHERFUCKING SEVEN PROPERTIES WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE IS BE PASSED DOWN AGAIN LIKE 3 TO 4 TIMES!.
This stupid shit kept telling me to write code in a "functional" style. AND ALL HE KNOWS ABOUT FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING IS USING MAP, FILTER, REDUCE! And says shit like "WE DONT NEED UNIT TESTS BECAUSE FUNCTIONAL PROGRAMMING HAS NO ERRORS!" Later on I found that he read a book about functional programming in JS and now he fucking thinks he knows what functional programming is! Oh I forgot to mention that the body of his "maps" is like 70 fucking lines of code!
Another fin-tech company I worked at had a quote from Machiavelli's The Prince on EACH FUCKING DESK:
"There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things."
MOTHERFUCKER! NEW ORDER OF THINGS? THERE 10 OTHER COMPANIES DOING THE SAME SHIT ALREADY!
And the one that got on my nerves as a space lover. Is a quote from Kennedy's speech about going to the moon in the 60s "We choose to go to the moon and do the hard things ..."
YOU FUCKING DELUSIONAL CUNT! YOU THINK BUILDING YOUR SHITTY COPY PASTED START UP IS COMPARABLE TO GOING TO THE MOON IN THE 60S?
I am just tired of all those fuckers.13 -
When a website enforces "overflow: hidden" on all content elements, so you hit them with the good ol'
for(let e of document.querySelectorAll("*")) {
e.style.overflow = "scroll";
}14 -
Let's talk a bit about CA-based SSH and TOFU, because this is really why I hate the guts out of how SSH works by default (TOFU) and why I'm amazed that so few people even know about certificate-based SSH.
So for a while now I've been ogling CA-based SSH to solve the issues with key distribution and replacement. Because SSH does 2-way verification, this is relevant to both the host key (which changes on e.g. reinstallation) and user keys (ever replaced one? Yeah that's the problem).
So in my own network I've signed all my devices' host keys a few days ago (user keys will come later). And it works great! Except... Because I wanted to "do it right straight away" I signed only the ED25519 keys on each host, because IMO that's what all the keys should be using. My user keys use it, and among others the host keys use it too. But not by default, which brings me back to this error message.
If you look closely you'd find that the host key did not actually change. That host hasn't been replaced. What has been replaced however is the key this client got initially (i.e. TOFU at work) and the key it's being presented now. The key it's comparing against is ECDSA, which is one of the host key types you'd find in /etc/ssh. But RSA is the default for user keys so God knows why that one is being served... Anyway, the SSH servers apparently prefer signed keys, so what is being served now is an ED25519 key. And TOFU breaks and generates this atrocity of a warning.
This is peak TOFU at its worst really, and with the CA now replacing it I can't help but think that this is TOFU's last scream into the void, a climax of how terrible it is. Use CA's everyone, it's so much better than this default dumpster fire doing its thing.
PS: yes I know how to solve it. Remove .ssh/known_hosts and put the CA as a known host there instead. This is just to illustrate a point.
Also if you're interested in learning about CA-based SSH, check out https://ibug.io/blog/2019/... and https://dmuth.org/ssh-at-scale-cas-... - these really helped me out when I started deploying the CA-based authentication model.19 -
Some days I just want to shoot myself.
I get why... someone might do this, but sweet mother of god!rant kill it with fire js i must have done bad in a previous life cluster fuck jquery alternative syntax php17 -
My slacker coworker attached a spoon to his monitor serving as a rear view mirror, so that he knows when somebody is standing behind him and can see his screen, which allows him to better slack off the whole day.
He's sick today (he often is), and I am looking for a nice prank idea, ideally involving this spoon. I thought of rubbing a piece of butter against it to make it murky and greasy, or maybe attach a photo of our boss to it.
But I need a better idea, so please comment! Thank you, much appreciated!26 -
Manager on the meeting room suddenly talking to me:
Coffe2Code, share your screen please to show us the progress.
Me: *minifies all windows fastly and plugs the laptop to the big screen *
Manager : we start with documentation, open the world file that you sent to me.
Me: *opens word*
Word: *freezing on my CV that I was editing for another job application*
Me: ...
Manager: ...
Word: oh everyone seen the CV? cool here your document11 -
That, my friends, is a Dell Poweredge r610, with 2x e5670 and 48GB of registered ECC memory, mounted underneath my desk at work, using mounts I 3D printed at home.
Roughly £140 all in, and I now have a nice little development server, AND leg heater!28 -
First time me ranting about PHP.
First time. I still really like the language.
But what the fuck.
I am debugging, I narrowed down bug to my validator.
I played with php console and debugger and narrowed down to that one offending line.
Narrowing down to smaller and smaller examples when it dosent work, confusion and tension grows in me.
And then it hit me.
Confusion got to apogeum.
Anyone, if you know the anwser, please tell me.
WHAT THE FUCK?
maybe thats task for stack overflow? Hrm...
No, I dont have time to explicitly tell what I tried to google and spend 4 hours to have all checkmarks ticked before asking lol39 -
Here’s a poster with a super short description of each one to help you keep track and find some new useful Linux tools.16