My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.

GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"

HTTP response code cheat sheet
(From /r/Programmer humor)

HR: How many years you've been developing on Android ?
Me: Two years, with many projects on my own.
HR: So, you're familiar with Android Studio?
Me: No, I've been using "Paint" to code.

!rant
Is it just me or programmers do suck at documentation?

Hello World!

Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?

Teacher - Yes

A group of people stand up and walking to the door

Teacher - Where are you all going ?

Students - We are going to drop this class.

Ahhh DDoS attacks

I just read devRant while on the shitter for so long my legs went dead. Now I can't walk properly hahaha...

"If Java had true garbage collection, most programs would delete themselves upon execution." - Robert Sewell

People with programming languages named after them:

Haskell Curry
Ada Lovelace
Agner Erlang
Blaise Pascal
Taylor Swift

And that's why there are scientific programming languages:

"Hey, you are the Java guy, aren't you? My Java is broken!"

Me: *Takes a look at the code*

if ("4+4".equals("5+3")) {
System.out.println("Same result!");
} else {
System.out.println("Different result!");
}

DO YOU FUCKING SERIOUSLY TELL US IN THE SECOND SEMESTER OF OUR MASTERS DEGREE THAT WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL THAT ARRAYS START WITH 0?!?

Dat ass

Product requirements created by PDM be like

Today was a successfull day: I posted a question on StackOverflow and I didn't receive any downvote

Boss: "Here's our new intern! He's a bloody genius doing apps! Perfect for that important project that shouldn't be trusted to an intern!!"

*takes intern 9 weeks to do a login view without any real backend*

Turns out the guy couldn't do shit but steal others code and change background color.

Boss: "He wasn't very good..."
Me: "You interview him. How about you bring a developer to the interview next time..."
Boss: "Doesn't matter. The app needs to be done the day after tomorrow, good luck"
Me: "............"

*puts on coffee, cries, programs the app in miserable silence*

Samsung got that one right 😂😂😂

That marketing guy is in big trouble.

Boss: "I need you to program tool-1, tool-2 and tool-3"
Me: *creates tool-1*
Boss: "Why did you make tool-1? I needed tool-3 done by now"

Maybe you should have told me that 🙃

So when everyone is posting their setup. Here is mine with two 34" monitors (curved) and some LEDs because no lamp did fit on the desk anymore :D

I hope it works now because it didn't upload the image the last two attempts...

*Me and my GF who works for CIA*

Me: Send nudes
GF: Whose do you want ?

Met a cute girl at the ATM today.
Long story short, she gave me her Instagram account and I ended up giving her my GitHub account.

1. Customer wants X.
2. Developer delivers X.
3. Customer wants developer to change X to Y for free.
4. Developer demands money.
5. Customer gets mad.
6. Developer compares situation to ordering a hamburger, consuming it, and demanding a pizza for free because customer didn't like the hamburger.
7. Customer pays

When you take User Experience to the next level. Just what I was thinking

Credits : Riot App

The only expressions devs have

What does a Git say to another?

Check this out man

This is what most people do... lol 😂😂😂😂 😂

Developer grandma

Am I the only one that will have my headphones on (without music) just so people will not bother me?

TIL that my company has an HTML/CSS guy whose only job is to optimize others frontend code and he has a higher pay scale than me.

How the fuck that skill could end up into a legitimate job profile!!!!

Spent two goddamn hours writing a Python script to convert exported JSON from Trello to an Excel sheet, only to find a Chrome extension that already does it, and better. 😧