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Cortana, please open Firefox.
>okay, anon
Cortana, type in browser "Cortana rule 34"
>O....Okay sure anon
Cortana, open that first link.
>...This link is...uh...Not safe for...
OPEN IT.
>y-yes, anon
Cortana, download every image you see and save it in a folder called "I am a dirty girl"
>why,anon? Why are you ....
Don't make me install gentoo
>Saving files
Who's a dirty little girl ?
>I.....I am anon29 -
Rule 34 ½: For every programming problem, there is already related XKCD, StackOverflow question and indian guy explaining it on YouTube. <3
23 -
My thoughts on programming:
As a child:
It is 100% magic
As a developer:
It is 65% if/else statements, 34% iterating an array, 1% actual amazing and unique code15 -
So when everyone is posting their setup. Here is mine with two 34" monitors (curved) and some LEDs because no lamp did fit on the desk anymore :D
I hope it works now because it didn't upload the image the last two attempts...
26 -
Tldr :
Office Building : 1
Population: 5000
Number of PC users: 5000
No of Spare mice: 0
Day 1:
Training period commences.
My mouse laser sensor doesn't work.
Solution: Use this mouse to log in to your system.
Open the company portal.
Connect to vpn.
Enter username password.
Create a ticket for mouse replacement.
Done.
Day 3
I bring my own mouse.
Confiscated at security.
Becomes a security violation.
Day 9
I get a call from helpdesk.
Agent- what is the problem?
Me- my mouse is not working.
Agent- why?
Me- what do you mean? Something is wrong with the sensor.
Agent- clean the sensor.
Disconnects call.
Marks ticket as resolved.
Me- WTF just happened!
Naturally, I escalate the issue.
Day 15
Level 2 Agent- what happened? Why have you escalated the issue?
Me- I need a mouse, waiting since 2 weeks.
Him- No mouse is available
Me- you don't have a single spare mouse available in an office with 5000 PC users?
Him- no they're out of stock.
Me- when will it be back in stock?
Him- we will 'soon' launch a tender for quotations from sellers.
Me- time?
Him- 1 week.
Day 34
I email the head of supplies for the city office. Next day I get a used super small mouse, which doesn't have a left button. Anyways, I've given up hope now.
Day 45
I become a master at keyboard shortcuts.
Finish my training.
Get transferred to another city.
No mouse till date.
Surprisingly, this was one of the top recruiters in my country. Never knew, MNCs can be so so inefficient for such simple tasks.
Start-ups are way better in this regard. Latest tech, small community, minimal bureaucracy and a lot of respect and things to learn.15 -
Ahahaha I don't know if I cry or laugh..
I slept 1 hour today, woke up, left the kid at school came back home planning on sleeping another 2 hours and coming to work.
Took a shower and remembered I had an important meeting by 8:30 am and it was already 8:10 ... Ran like fucking crazy , ate an orange for breakfast ran like a lunatic in traffic just to arrive at work by 8:34 and be told the meeting has been rescheduled for tomorrow afternoon...
Had to smile to who rescheduled the meeting right now writing this rant :)
Now... Who the fuck sends an email at 00:02 to reschedule a fucking meeting??
Fuck.14 -
Ordered a new 34" Dell Monitor which should have been delivered today. The lazy ass mailman tried to scam my neighbor by telling him to pay 1000€ for the packet... (Amazon doesn't use cash on delivery)
FUCK OFF IDIOT, I HOPE YOU LOSE YOUR JOB BECAUSE NOW I HAVE TO DO YOUR GOD DAMN WORK AND COLLECT THE PACKET ON MY OWN.11 -
You can hate me: as a 34 year old php developer, i've never used git in my workflow...
I plan to start today using it on one of my personal project (only because i have arrived at "backup-49.rar")(yes i develop on windows).
Finger crossed17 -
Didn't really have one to speak of. The first time a girl showed any interest in me, I asked her to marry me, and she said yes. That was 34 years ago, and we're still good.😁7
-
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 35. One to actually change the bulb and 34 to say after the fact, "I could have done that better."11 -
Here are the reasons why I don't like IPv6.
Now I'll be honest, I hate IPv6 with all my heart. So I'm not supporting it until inevitably it becomes the de facto standard of the internet. In home networks on the other hand.. huehue...
The main reason why I hate it is because it looks in every way overengineered. Or rather, poorly engineered. IPv4 has 32 bits worth, which translates to about 4 billion addresses. IPv6 on the other hand has 128 bits worth of addresses.. which translates to.. some obscenely huge number that I don't even want to start translating.
That's the problem. It's too big. Anyone who's worked on the internet for any amount of time knows that the internet on this planet will likely not exceed an amount of machines equal to about 1 or 2 extra bits (8.5B and 17.1B respectively). Now of course 33 or 34 bits in total is unwieldy, it doesn't go well with electronics. From 32 you essentially have to go up to 64 straight away. That's why 64-bit processors are.. well, 64 bits. The memory grew larger than the 4GB that a 32-bit processor could support, so that's what happened.
The internet could've grown that way too. Heck it probably could've become 64 bits in total of which 34 are assigned to the internet and the remaining bits are for whatever purposes large IP consumers would like to use the remainder for.
Whoever designed IPv6 however.. nope! Let's give everyone a /64 range, and give them quite literally an IP pool far, FAR larger than the entire current internet. What's the fucking point!?
The IPv6 standard is far larger than it should've been. It should've been 64 bits instead of 128, and it should've been separated differently. What were they thinking? A bazillion colonized planets' internetworks that would join the main internet as well? Yeah that's clearly something that the internet will develop into. The internet which is effectively just a big network that everyone leases and controls a little bit of. Just like a home network but scaled up. Imagine or even just look at the engineering challenges that interplanetary communications present. That is not going to be feasible for connecting multiple planets' internets. You can engineer however you want but you can't engineer around the hard limit of light speed. Besides, are our satellites internet-connected? Well yes but try using one. And those whizz only a couple of km above sea level. The latency involved makes it barely usable. Imagine communicating to the ISS, the moon or Mars. That is not going to happen at an internet scale. Not even close. And those are only the closest celestial objects out there.
So why was IPv6 engineered with hundreds of years of development and likely at least a stage 4 civilization in mind? No idea. Future-proofing or poor engineering? I honestly don't know. But as a stage 0 or maybe stage 1 person, I don't think that I or civilization for that matter is ready for a 128-bit internet. And we aren't even close to needing so many bits.
Going back to 64-bit processors and memory. We've passed 32 bit address width about a decade ago. But even now, we're only at about twice that size on average. We're not even close to saturating 64-bit address width, and that will likely take at least a few hundred years as well. I'd say that's more than sufficient. The internet should've really become a 64-bit internet too.34 -
Close your eyes.
Headphones on
Noise canceling enabled.
Playing your favorite playlist.
Open your eyes
Start programming.
Perfect way to begin your day. Ignoring everything around you and being in your moment.
Error on line 34.9 -
Nice new scrollbars feature Spotify, but
1. This song isn't 05:34 minutes long
2. That position hardly seems like 05:01/05:34
3. The point is stuck at 05:01 while the song is playing
18 -
People are still bitching about Microsoft buying Github.
In the meantime IBM buys Red Hat for 34 billion USD.
https://engadget.com/2018/10/...10 -
OK.
1. So i tindered.
2. I got a really nice girl.
3. We chatted really long and good.
4. We tried to meetup it did not work because of our schedule. New
job on my end, she is a student.
5. I thought its over. Fine whatever.
6. She gives me her number.
7. We continue chat on whatsapp
8. Blablabla 3 days long, she gets bored and tries to friendzone me
9. I revert the shit and state i wanna be serious and there wont be a
friendzone/nice guy comin from me.
10. She happy and continues to chat.
11. I get emtionally invested in her.
12. We exchange thoughts dreams and music.
13 We want to meetup at weekend. I cant. Got a family wedding all
weekend.
14. We want to meetup the second week.
I cant. Im off on a company trip. Again new job here.
15. So we say in the week after I get back.
15a. Before the weekend we need to deliver an rc and go all out to hold
the deadline.
15b. We deliver, but shit happens on the customer side. His fault but we
get the blame.
15c I go onto the company trip.
16. We chat and i send her pictures of the trip over the weekend so she
sees I care.
17. She seems fine. And happy.
18. I come back from the trip late night and need to work the next day
jetlag style.
19. I work jetlag style. And try to fix the shit from last week.
20. I come home really tired and looking forward to date day tomorrow.
21. I cant do anything. My home looks like shit and the bag still
unpacked. I just eat and fall asleep.
I feel bad bcs my home will turn her down instantly if we make it to my
place.
Need to hope that it does not come to this.
22. Date day comes. Today.
23. I wake up at 6 early to plan ahead to make sure my clothes are fine
and i arrive on time in the office to exit early.
24. I expect to check what goes on today in the city and give her the
location to meet and time.
25. I enter office and immeadetly get caught up in meeting planning, dev
questions and the meeting itself because the project is on edge.
26. We have a 5hours long meeting where people go on and on and on.
27. 3h later in the meeting:
my brain was fried and around 12 i go to lunch with some people.
28. Meanwhile the city is turning into a rainy mess of a shitty day. No
way I can have a nice walk with her like that. Bars and coffeshops are
just to boring.
29. So i eat to regain some sense and we go back to the office.
Meanwhile I am thinking all kinds of locations and stuff in my head.
30. Havent given her any update since a good morning in the morning.
31. We reenter the meeting. Things continue like before. The project is
on impossible demands and impossible timelines. Still we try to do our
best.
32 3h later on 3pm I tell her i am in a long meeting and working on a
meetingspot.
33. shes not happy.
34. I get a call from a relative
35. i need to go out and take the call. not good for the collegues.
again new job here.
36. family trouble, money trouble, goverment demands. I promise to
handle that tomorrow. Before work.
37. i get back into the meeting.
38. still super slow and no results.
39. need to focus but start to check for locations on my phone.
40. she asks me where i am
41. I send her my location.
42. she thinks i am saying she should pick me up!
43 i joke and say no definitly not.
44. shes pissed.
45. I decide for a coffeeshop. after work. and send her the location
46. She says to call it off.
47. I go all in and go romance style. I say ill wait there even if she
does not come to show her how much i care.
U know to avoid the lets do it some other time fuckery and then it never
happens.
47. She goes quiet.
48. 2h later we finish the meeting. Meanwhile QA foudn a bug we need to
fix because why not.
49. I got 30 minutes to find the bug and fix it before I need to go to
uphold my word.
50. I find out what to do, but it might break a lot of other things
without careful test and implementation. Collegues says he takes it.
51 I feel bad but I need to go. I even leave earlier because otherwise I
would not be on time.
52. I arrive 15 minutes early. I grab two coffee2go and wait outside,
53. Shitty weather, sometimes rain, sometimes sunny, cant decide what it
wants.
54. The weather is just like how I feel.
55. I wait 1 1/2h
56. I think I should feel stupid, For gods sake its tinder. People dont
give a crap, Enough people around why should I Invest so much into this?
But I dont feel stupid. Because this is how I want it. I dont want
appointments, I dont want safety. I decided for her and I went all in.
57. I send her pics from the sceneray as proof that I waited,
58. I think I blew it. She is still quiet.
59. Friends are asking me for plans for the weekend. I wish I could say
I already have some with her.
60. I feel lost right now. But my head says I put too much stress on
her, And i fucked up with the planning. I should have been more precise.
My head also says that i am putting myself into the victim role, which
is wrong always. Should I continue to reach out to her? Is there
something I could do still?68 -
How to know a mobile game will suck
Opens game says need to download more data... Ok
22 files needed, looks pretty fast... all's good
#22 apparently HUGE file...
**feeling doubtful...**
**It's almost there.... done!**
Downloading file 1/34
**WTF... I see what you're doing now... ok I'll wait....**
Finally done... Ok loading....
loading....
black screen, loading?
still black....
（╯－＿－）╯╧╧
ಠ︵ಠ凸3 -
Behold, my 34 year old little baby (more like big daddy), the Acorn Electron. Still running fine but god is that BASIC awful.
7 -
Rule 34.
"If it exists, there is porn of it. No exceptions." Rule 34 (novel), by Charles Stross
Same thing applies to npm modules.16 -
GitHub
This repo contains the following languages:
- PHP 58%
- HTML 34%
- Javascript 5%
- CSS 2%
- Ruby 0.6%
- Hack 0.3%
- NASL 0.1%
The last 3 are not in this repo.
Don't fear about AI taking our jobs, it still can't identify what languages it's looking at.18 -
34 days without any sugar (except for fruits). Am i a hero already, or should i go for 2-3 months?19
-
rule 34: if it exists, there is porn of it
rule 35: if it exists, there's a javascript framework with that name10 -
So at this startup i was single iOS dude age 34, android had 1.5 dudes, one older, one you ger. That 0.5 younger was tech director, really good, so they churned for two guys. Millenial, nice guy, never making conflict, just being sleazebag.
Nobody explained to boss why iOS was always late with features, even when i complained. So i got help, 10 months later, project was unpolished but stable, codewise. Now i interview and hire a guy, age 27, who was all yeah dude no problem, and that being my first interview, i fell under his friendly appearance. I ignored a fact that he didn’t know 90% of stuff i was asking him, because he was so friendly and outgoing and we will do anything attitude.
The guy knew very little, was childish and irresponisble. He showed at work at noon. He started telling me what to do, his senior collegue who started the project. He argued about everything that i would tell him. So i spent three to four hours a day charting with him, because we were in different cities. He had two uears of experence, but he was below junior level. And he refused any of my advices for learning in free time. No, he said, thats my free time, you will not tell me what to do. Well, how do you plan on being better, i asked. He said, i learn by doing. But, since he was at his job only six hours a day, instead of eight, and since he was productive only for 2, i guess he was lazy.
He would deliver a UI he would make, without business logic, and tell it is done. Then clients would call me and ask why text fields are not saved..
This all took me month to understand. I lost time, i lost trust, and soon he was fired.
But, soon i was fired also, replaced by another two devs who i had interviewd and formed a team. I was discarded as trash, just like that. I have even worked overtime to catch up with android guys, unpaid.
Took me year to recover mentally from this.
Lessons learned: be objective when interviewing. Job is business, not friendship, trust no one, keep neutral on work. Leave honesty for someone else, honesty will be used against you. Never criticize two girls in office who disturb developers by talking about sex and dicks all the time, dressed sexy, they are girlfriends of people ranked above you. Leave code perfection for your projects.3 -
Every language ever:
"You can't compare objects of type A and B"
Swift, on the other hand:
"main.swift:365:34: note: overloads for '==' exist with these partially matching parameter lists: (Any.Type?, Any.Type?), ((), ()), (Bool, B ool), (Character, Character), (Character.UnicodeScalarView.Index, Character.UnicodeScalarView.Index), (CodingUserInfoKey, CodingUserInfoKey ), (OpaquePointer, OpaquePointer), (AnyHashable, AnyHashable), (UInt8, UInt8), (Int8, Int8), (UInt16, UInt16), (Int16, Int16), (UInt32, UIn t32), (Int32, Int32), (UInt64, UInt64), (Int64, Int64), (UInt, UInt), (Int, Int), (AnyKeyPath, AnyKeyPath), (Unicode.Scalar, Unicode.Scalar ), (ObjectIdentifier, ObjectIdentifier), (String, String), (String.Index, String.Index), (UnsafeMutableRawPointer, UnsafeMutableRawPointer) , (UnsafeRawPointer, UnsafeRawPointer), (UnicodeDecodingResult, UnicodeDecodingResult), (_SwiftNSOperatingSystemVersion, _SwiftNSOperatingS ystemVersion), (AnyIndex, AnyIndex), (AffineTransform, AffineTransform), (Calendar, Calendar), (CharacterSet, CharacterSet), (Data, Data), (Date, Date), (DateComponents, DateComponents), (DateInterval, DateInterval), (Decimal, Decimal), (IndexPath, IndexPath), (IndexSet.Index, IndexSet.Index), (IndexSet.RangeView, IndexSet.RangeView), (IndexSet, IndexSet), (Locale, Locale), (Notification, Notification), (NSRange,
NSRange), (String.Encoding, String.Encoding), (PersonNameComponents, PersonNameComponents), (TimeZone, TimeZone), (URL, URL), (URLComponent s, URLComponents), (URLQueryItem, URLQueryItem), (URLRequest, URLRequest), (UUID, UUID), (DarwinBoolean, DarwinBoolean), (DispatchQoS, Disp atchQoS), (DispatchTime, DispatchTime), (DispatchWallTime, DispatchWallTime), (DispatchTimeInterval, DispatchTimeInterval), (Selector, Sele ctor), (NSObject, NSObject), (CGAffineTransform, CGAffineTransform), (CGPoint, CGPoint), (CGSize, CGSize), (CGVector, CGVector), (CGRect, C GRect), ((A, B), (A, B)), ((A, B, C), (A, B, C)), ((A, B, C, D), (A, B, C, D)), ((A, B, C, D, E), (A, B, C, D, E)), ((A, B, C, D, E, F), (A , B, C, D, E, F)), (ContiguousArray<Element>, ContiguousArray<Element>), (ArraySlice<Element>, ArraySlice<Element>), (Array<Element>, Array <Element>), (AutoreleasingUnsafeMutablePointer<Pointee>, AutoreleasingUnsafeMutablePointer<Pointee>), (ClosedRangeIndex<Bound>, ClosedRange Index<Bound>), (LazyDropWhileIndex<Base>, LazyDropWhileIndex<Base>), (EmptyCollection<Element>, EmptyCollection<Element>), (FlattenCollecti onIndex<BaseElements>, FlattenCollectionIndex<BaseElements>), (FlattenBidirectionalCollectionIndex<BaseElements>, FlattenBidirectionalColle ctionIndex<BaseElements>), (Set<Element>, Set<Element>), (Dictionary<Key, Value>.Keys, Dictionary<Key, Value>.Keys), ([Key : Value], [Key : Value]), (Set<Element>.Index, Set<Element>.Index), (Dictionary<Key, Value>.Index, Dictionary<Key, Value>.Index), (ManagedBufferPointer<Hea der, Element>, ManagedBufferPointer<Header, Element>), (Wrapped?, Wrapped?), (Wrapped?, _OptionalNilComparisonType), (_OptionalNilCompariso nType, Wrapped?), (LazyPrefixWhileIndex<Base>, LazyPrefixWhileIndex<Base>), (Range<Bound>, Range<Bound>), (CountableRange<Bound>, Countable Range<Bound>), (ClosedRange<Bound>, ClosedRange<Bound>), (CountableClosedRange<Bound>, CountableClosedRange<Bound>), (ReversedIndex<Base>, ReversedIndex<Base>), (_UIntBuffer<Storage, Element>.Index, _UIntBuffer<Storage, Element>.Index), (UnsafeMutablePointer<Pointee>, UnsafeMut ablePointer<Pointee>), (UnsafePointer<Pointee>, UnsafePointer<Pointee>), (_ValidUTF8Buffer<Storage>.Index, _ValidUTF8Buffer<Storage>.Index) , (Self, Other), (Self, R), (Measurement<LeftHandSideType>, Measurement<RightHandSideType>)"17 -
34 meetings on calendar for this week.
It's not even Monday noon yet.
Even the almighty creator does not know how many more will be scheduled during the week.14 -
"/path/to/my/file.swift:143:34: error: cannot convert return expression of type 'String.SubSequence' (aka 'Substring') to return type 'String'"
Ah yes, I love it when Substring isn't String5 -
My battle station. Want to get a 34'' curved screen, but can't make up my mind which one. Gaming and photography... Colors vs reaction time 😵
3 -
Most embarrassing interview rejection was not even in person, it was over the phone.
The company that I was going to work for (quite a big one mind you), scheduled to phone me at 2PM, I was preparing mentally for 2PM, so I took my girlfriend to lunch at 1. Just to relax and calm myself before the phoned me.
It was 34 degrees (celcius - I think that's about 93 farenheit? somewhere close) outside and I was waiting for her to finish her smoke (she was in the smoking area).
They phoned me, and it caught me completely off-guard. My years of knowledge just seemed to flush down the toilet at that moment, and I utterly felt stupid talking to the guy over the phone. It was a first for me, and I hope that it never happens again - he basically stopped me, told me that I had better not apply before I know what I am talking about (as I was wasting his time), and then put down the phone on me..
Worst part was that my girlfriend came back right then and asked me if I am ready for the interview. I hung my head in shame because I was ashamed to tell her that I fucked it up, because you know, I kind of needed the job (the one I had at the stage was shitty).1 -
To all the Java Teams that died during the fucking Mobile Civil War, We salute you!
1. Millionaire 2011
2. Splinter Cell: Double Agent
3. Dragon Ball Z Saiyan Fighters
4. Moto Girls
5. 24 Special Ops
6. Thor: The Dark World
7. Kung Fu Panda
8. Worms 2011: Armageddon
9. Asphalt 4: Elite Racing
10. Resident Evil - The Missions
11. Ghost Recon: Future Soldier
12. Spider-Man 3
13. Need for Speed - Undercover 3D
14. Contra 4
15. Rambo on Fire
16. Fast and Furious 6
17. Counter Strike 3D
18. Men in Black 3
19. X–Men Origins: Wolverine
20. WWE Legends of Wrestlemania 3D
21. 3D Fight Night: Round 4
22. 3D Ultimate Rally Championships
23. Assassin's Creed
24. Zuma
24. Die Hard 4
25. 3D WWE Smackdown Vs RAW 2009
26. Prince of Persia 3: The Two Thrones
27. 3D Fight Night: Round 3
28. Super Mario Bros
29. Bruce Lee - Iron Fist 3D
30. Naruto Adventure: A New Apprentice
31. FIFA 2011
32. James Cameron's Avatar
33. Racing 2: The Real Car Experience
34. King Kong
35. Gangstar City
36. Iron Man 3
37. XIII 2: Covert Identity
38. 4x4 Extreme Rally 3D
39. Real Football Manager 2013
40. Splinter Cell: Conviction
41. 2008 Real Football 3D
42. Assassin's Creed 2
43. Hummer 3D
44. American Gangster
45. Real Football 2009
46. 3D Football: Real Madrid 2010
47. Xtreme Dirt Bike
48. Tekken Mobile
49. A Good Day to Die Hard
50. The Amazing Spider-Man 2
51. Asphalt 3: Street Rules 3D
52. GTA IV Mobile
53. 3D Contr Terrorism
54. Real Football 2015
55. The Amazing Spider-Man
56. Contra 4 (2009)
57. Mortal Kombat 3D
58. Bad Girls
59. Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
60. Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit 3D
61. God of War
62. PES 2009 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
63. Ultimate Street Football
64. Assassin's Creed: Revelations
65. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
66. 3D Super taxi driver
67. Gangstar 2: Kings of LA
68. Asphalt 6: Adrenaline
69. Assassin's Creed III
70. Danger Dash
71. Real Football 2014
72. Gangstar - Crime City
73. Gangstar 3: Miami Vindication
74. Modern Combat 4: Zero Hour
75. Zuma's Revenge!
We know you guys did your best but the world is a fucking shit hole. We still remember your hard work!
76. Mission Impossible 3
77. Gangstar Rio: City of Saints (I guess these were your last days at work. Well-done guys!)
78. Real Football 2010
79. Real Football 2011 (Real Soccer)
80. Real Football 2012
81. PES 2011 (Pro Evolution Soccer)
82. Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 (My Favorite)
83. And those missing the list.
WE SALUTE YOU ALL!!! ∠(^ー^)4 -
I use my PC mainly for gaming, Anime and home stuff.
Pc is a big tower under the desk btw.
Main monitor is a 34", 1440p, 60hz from LG (it's rather old). Second one is a 29", 1080p monitor from Phillips which I also could rotate. I really have no idea what I should use it for and I never really put it on anyway.
I could do more or less professional recording for Twitch or whatever but I'm to lazy and no pro, so I only use it for some multiplayer game sessions.
Questions or ideas how to optimise my setup are welcome.
Cable management is a mess btw.
-
Copy and paste this in Notepad++, then select one an push F1:
BR,
Loreia
Notepad++
Martin Golding
L. Peter Deutsch
Seymour Cray
Brian Kernighan
Alan Kay
Bill Gates
Christopher Thompson
Vidiu Platon
Edward V Berard
pixadel
Oktal
Bjarne Stroustrup
Mosher's Law of Software Engineering
Bob Gray
Roberto Waltman
Gavin Russell Baker
Alanna
Linus Torvalds
Cult of vi
Church of Emacs
Steve Jobs
brotips #1001
brotips #1212
Robin Williams
Darth Vader
Doug Linder
Jean-Claude van Damme
Don Ho
Anonymous #1
Anonymous #2
Anonymous #3
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Apple fan boy
Motherf*cker
Hustle Man
Confucius
Mark Twain
Friedrich Nietzsche
Chewbacca1 -
ughh there comes halloween and christmas joke, i'm sure yall know this right ??? OCT(34) == DEC(25)5
-
Maybe two days ago I expressed interest in creating a dynamic HTML templating system.
Here's what I came up with. template.js only 34 lines. Which is great because JS is ugly and I want the least amount of it as possible.
The idea is you can create hiddent templates, modify them using traditional means (HTML/ CSS), then generate an infinite amount of them in JS.
Btw: Screenshot is two different images stitched together. There isn't JS and HTML in the same place.
19 -
When its saturday morning and you're on a bridge because the migration is still failing 34 hours in and the PM mentioned the vendor doc that he 'trimmed for your benefit' and replaced with his terrible doc, and you beat the original out of him and basically read off the section title "Exactly the error you got and the steps to prevent and resolve" and section 2 "big bold red letters explaining how to avoid it" and you instafix it. #wherewereyouonthursday
-
Just seeking approval for spending money. What do you guys think:
2x 1080p 24" 16:9 or
1x 1080p 34" 21:9 or
1x 1440p 34" 21:9?18 -
When I was about 10, I used to read these magazines with code listings for programs, and the only things I really understood were these text adventures that I imagined to be of Zork-like quality (gasp!). In reality, it was more like the choose-your-own adventure books of the time (which were actually pretty cool, and had pretty tight memory management). At one time, on a vacation somewhere in the eighties, I got tired of playing in the river with my friends and instead opted to continue writing lines of BASIC in a little paper notebook, inside my parents' car (at 34 degrees C), trying to perfect a storyline about my little brother and his pet dog he got for his most recent birthday, fighting the cat empire etcetera etcetera. Weird looks, good times.
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Wozniak, Apple don’t give a shit about what you think, they didn’t 34 years ago when you left and they certainly don’t today. Please stop commenting, you are irrelevant.11
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Hell yeah! Just learned React/Redux. Implemented it into a view;
1 file changed, 34 insertions(+), 282 deletions(-)
rewrite app/views/landing_page/property.slim (96%)
Feels good! :D -
"Dear e-mailer,
XXX is out of the country, thus reponding to your e-mail will take longer. While you're waiting for your response, XXX has OutHorsed his instant replies to an Icelandic horse called Hekla frá Þorkellshóli, who is trained in corporate communications:
Aælkj5hbyiu89 n89u ð´'i2+ji hð9 u3boæjrk2 n 9089ui qeægj eronbqo ð gnjqergni8h aq fear i
Qfiuoq4uhhæ 34 4 4 ædoifuuuuuuuuua q34o
This email was composed by an Icelandic horse using a giant keyboard for horses. Seriously.
Outhorse your email at: outhorseyouremail.com"1 -
Difference between 2023-01-01 00:00:00 and 2023-12-31 23:59:59 is 11 months, 29 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, 59 seconds ; so almost a year (by one second)
Difference between 2023-01-01 00:00:00 and 2023-01-31 23:59:59 is the same, almost a month by 1 second.
Same for february (even with 28 being the last day).
But then, 2023-03-01 00:00:00 and 2023-03-31 23:59:59 gives me :
1 month, 2 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, 59 seconds.
WHY, are there fucking 34 days in March ? Is this a bug ? Is it confused with February being the previous month ?
Why would PHP do this to me ?
Why the hell is it always so painful to work with dates, it's not even like I'm stretching the standard library or using raw timestamps to hack things together
I used the diff method of PHP 7.4 DateTime, is someone wants to try it22 -
I made my own blog dedicated to personal rants on ZeroNet and count already 34 people sharing it. That's insane. I guess people like people ranting and that's what @trogus and @dfox figured before everyone ;)13
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I wanted to cry so much when I saw my original 2-method interface turns to have 34 methods of unrelated shits.
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You know how Rule 34 of the Internet is:
"if it exists, there is porn of it"
I think another one should be:
"if it exists, there's Indian spam accounts on it"4 -
I don't like when
you have a couple of years of experience with some language and you're like "I should read a good book about it, and have some proper solid foundation instead of playing by ear".
So you get a book and what follows is a very jarring experience.
Because for the first 8 chapters they get into the basics of the language.
You're occasionally like "interesting, I did not know that".
But for the most part you're like "yes, for fucking christ I know that, everybody knows that",
or you complain about the author being redundant,
or about the outdatedness of the book, since most documentation is now in the interwebs
or you reach flawed conclusions out of frustration like "this isn't making me any money, I could get on upwork, or do some bounties instead of wasting time on this"
then you start to skim through the pages like "I know this, and this, and this" until you realize you're in some page you have no fucking idea what it's talking about, as if you ended up on the wrong side of town
so you start backtracking (frustration is going critical at this point)
but backtracking is annoying because it's not well defined where you stopped getting it, as if in page 33 you were getting it 100%, but 0% on page 34, it's more like a gradual, irregular decrease,
so you have no idea where to start re reading from.
you just shove that shit into the wall at that point.
Some of these are learning discipline problems.
I guess there are ways to mitigate them, such as writing down questions of things not understood, co reading, etc.
But the one thing I don't think I can't get past is when authors write like shit,
like being redundant, using different words to say the same shit
or using confusing sentences that can mean different things at the same time,
or using the incorrect terminology, eg: if I were teaching OOP, saying shit like "classes create objects" but later on saying something like "classes create instances".
They usually nail the definitions the first time, but then use different terms for the same thing. It's shit.
And I think that's a writing culture that I hate.
From school you are taught to bot repeat words.
To say the same shit in different ways.
To be descritive, but vague.
That's absolutely shitty for programming in my opinion.2 -
Managed to derive an inverse to karatsuba's multiplication method, converting it into a factorization technique.
Offers a really elegant reason for why non-trivial semiprimes (square free products) are square free.
For a demonstration of karatsubas method, check out:
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/...
Now for the reverse, like I said something elegant emerges.
So we can start by taking the largest digit in our product. Lets say our product is 697.
We find all the digits that produce 6 when summed, along with their order.
thats (1,5), (5,1), (2,4), (4,2), and (3,3)
That means for one of our factors, its largest digit can ONLY be 1, 5, 2, 4, or 3.
Lets take karatsubas method at step f (in the link) and reverse it. Instead of subtracting, we're adding.
If we assume (3,3)
Then we take our middle digit of our product p, in this case the middle digit of 697. is 9, and we munge it with 3.
Then we add our remaining 3, and our remaining unit digit, to get 3+39+7 = 49.
Now, because karatsuba's method ONLY deals with multiplication in single digits, we only need to consider *at most* two digit products.
And interestingly, the only factors of 49 are 7.
49 is a square!
And the only sums that produce 7, are (2,5), (5,2), (3,4), and (4,3)
These would be the possible digits of the factors of 697 if we initially chose (3,3) as our starting point for calculating karatsubas inverse f step.
But you see, 25 can't be a factor of p=697, because 25 is a square, and ends in a 5, so its clearly not prime. 52 can't be either because it ends in 2, likewise 34 ending in 4.
Only 43 could be our possible factor of p.
And we *only* get one factor because our starting point has two of the same digit. Which would mean p would have to equal 43 (a prime) or 1. And because p DOESNT (it equals 697), we can therefore say (3,3) is the wrong starting point, as are ALL starting points that share only one digit, or end in a square.
Ergo we can say the products of non-squares, are specifically non-prime precisely because if they *were* prime, their only factors would HAVE to be themselves, and 1.
For an even BETTER explanation go try karatsuba's method with any prime as the first factor, and 1 as the second factor (just multiply the tens column by zero). And you can see why the inverse, where you might try a starting point that has two matching digits (like 3,3), would obviously fail, because the values it produces could only have two factors; some prime thats not our product, or the value one, which is also not our product.
It's elegant almost to the level of a tautology. -
Me: I should divide my project in small parts. It will be a piece of cake.
Also me: (on last day of submission) 76 commits in 34 minutes.
*Face Palm* 🤦♂️1 -
and this is why you dont let a first timer build your database....
"has 34 column names in index key list. The maximum limit for index or statistics key column list is 16"4 -
This error, which took me a long time to find, demonstrates the importance of useful variable names.
Using the Wolfram Language:
pp = {};
For[i = 0, i <= Max[p], i++, If[Count[p, i] != 0, pp = Join[pp, {{i, Count[pp, i]}}], -1]];
pp
Outputs:
{{1, 0}, {2, 0}, {3, 0}, {4, 0}, {5, 0}, {6, 0}, {7, 0}, {8, 0}, {9, 0}, {10, 0}, {11, 0}, {12, 0}, {13, 0}, {14, 0}, {15, 0}, {16, 0}, {17, 0}, {18, 0}, {19, 0}, {20, 0}, {21, 0}, {22, 0}, {23, 0}, {24, 0}, {25, 0}, {26, 0}, {27, 0}, {28, 0}, {29, 0}, {30, 0}, {31, 0}, {32, 0}, {33, 0}, {34, 0}, {35, 0}, {36, 0}, {37, 0}, {38, 0}, {39, 0}, {40, 0}, {41, 0}, {42, 0}, {43, 0}, {44, 0}, {45, 0}, {46, 0}, {47, 0}, {48, 0}, {49, 0}, {50, 0}, {51, 0}, {52, 0}, {53, 0}, {54, 0}, {55, 0}, {56, 0}, {57, 0}, {58, 0}, {59, 0}, {60, 0}, {61, 0}, {62, 0}, {63, 0}, {64, 0}, {65, 0}, {66, 0}, {67, 0}, {68, 0}, {69, 0}, {70, 0}, {71, 0}, {72, 0}, {73, 0}, {74, 0}, {75, 0}, {76, 0}, {77, 0}, {78, 0}, {79, 0}, {80, 0}, {81, 0}, {82, 0}, {83, 0}, {84, 0}, {85, 0}, {86, 0}, {87, 0}, {88, 0}, {89, 0}, {90, 0}, {91, 0}, {92, 0}, {93, 0}, {94, 0}, {95, 0}, {96, 0}, {97, 0}, {98, 0}, {99, 0}, {100, 0}, {101, 0}, {103, 0}, {104, 0}, {105, 0}, {106, 0}, {107, 0}, {108, 0}, {111, 0}, {112, 0}, {116, 0}, {118, 0}, {122, 0}, {125, 0}, {136, 0}, {137, 0}}
As opposed to the expected output, which should have no 0s as the second values in any of the tuples.
I spent a large amount of time examining the code to generate p before realizing that the bug was in this line.3 -
Absolute best way to get a object of the current User in Symfony?
Yeah, just retrieve the current user.
Oh, we are not yet done, get the username and perform a DB query to get a user object.
Glad this answer has -34 on stack overflow...2 -
I feel like there should be a rule 34 for nodejs. If you can think of it, there is probably a nose module for it. Take for example PHP.js it's a thing...1
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Screw Scrum, screw it very much. Is it a task or a story? Oh let's make it a story to track points. What are points, really? *20 minute grilling always follows* Well they're kind of a roundabout way of talking about time without talking about time, mkay? But last time 2 points took you a day, what gives now? What do you mean points are for internal use, but how will management plan ahead for next quarter? Ok, let's mix in all those new people, and propotionately bump the expectation for the sprint, mkay? Yeah, they did 34 points per sprint over there, we'll just add those in. Oh, and by the way, after the 4-day estimation session we had where everyone was seizuring, I scheduled us at 645 points for the coming quarter, mkay? Don't worry, I added 15% for the "unexpected dtuff" so you're safe. Fuck you scrum, scrum-fall, whatever you are. Lost a dev lead role once for being honest about it after a year with a team that loved me, and projects completed more or less on time. Been reconsidered for a dev lead role for being honest about it in another place. Somebody else peddle this kool-aid, this one prefers a walk-on role in the wall to a lead role in the cage.5
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just a thought : the advancement in AI is going to result in a lot of porn and fetishes reaching an even higher audience. comparing the advancements in generations :
gen x :
- porn is limited to magazines and comics
- people are crazy about sex but only in their homes
gen y :
- porn as an industry gets established. a few companies with good money starts hiring people and create porn as content.
- the governments are sceptical and puts lots of regulations in this industry resulting in those japenese sensored porns and porn being shared like drugs in market (secretively)
- only the curious people are able to get access porn with lots of hardwork
gen z/curren5 gen :
- porn as a concept is still a taboo in religions and general public , but government is lineant and does not /could not stop its distribution
- porn accessible to anyone with an internet
- content creation no longer a high investment business, lots of small companies and even individuals become content creators
- rule 34 flourishes resulting in a lot of fetishes . wherever there is an idea, there maybe some content creator making a video, comic or art on that idea.
next gen :
- AI creates realistic porn on any idea. the access to such ai models becomes cheap . thus anyone who is a consumer can become a producer, resulting in even more content generation
- since ai can use non real people to make porn, the stigma around porn reduces and mature content gets more mainstream ( r rated movies getting family friendly ratings)
- rise of hate porn, deep fakes, resulting in either the concept of hate porn getting less audience , or direct decrease of extroverted professions ( no real actors/actresses to shoot movies)
just some thoughts around porn lol8 -
Weather forecast says it's gonna be 34 degrees Celsius this afternoon. Guess I'll be melting at work today.4
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My favorite xkcd quotes (order is not significant )
1. _*It's the world's tiniest open-source violin.*_
2. ...too honest. Scale it back.
3. I'd like to bestow upon you the first annual AWARD of EXCELLENCE in BEING VERY SMART. May you continue to grace our internet with your wisdom.
4. wait, what?
5. Yeah, uh ... I accidentally took the Fourier transform of my cat ...
6. Okay, we _suck_ at this.
7. You either need more medication or less. Not sure which.
8. I THINK EVERYONE INVOLVED HERE IS CUTE
9. World's Greatest Daughter
10. People who open bananas for the other end
11. Just for the sake of the argument, we should get a boat! You can invite the Devil, too, if you want.
12. This explain a lot.
13. My bag is 90% backup batteries.
14. Well- will you be my "it's complicated" on facebook?
15. Oh God. Gotta get out. The window.
16. Sweet! I finally got my subduction license!
17. I'll tell you later - you wouldn't appreciate the punchline over this 12kbps cell phone codec.
18. RON PAUL evolves into TRON PAUL
19. Just talk to them like a f***ing human being
20. In ordering #5, self-driving cars will happily drive you around, but if you tell them to drive to a car dealership, they just lock the doors and politely ask how long humans take to starve to death.
21. I eat my body weight in food every 31 days. That's slightly faster than the human average.
22. Nice try, Mike. Get out of the well.
23. Apollo retroreflectors
24. Can't see space vampires
25. My class on screenshots was a big hit, although for some reason I only ever sold one copy of the digital textbook.
26. WHAT.
27. Introducing The xkcd Phone 6, VIII, 10, X, 26, and 1876. We didn't start this nonconsecutive version number war, but we will not lose it.
28. My morality has evaporated over the harsh UV light.
29. Come on. Somewhere at the edge of the bell curve is the girl for me.
30. P.P.S. I can kill you with my brain.
31. Time to accelerate this giant machine up to terrifying speeds and steer it using my hands, which I am allowed to do because I took a 20-minute test in high school!
32. My normal approach is useless here
33. Wake up, sheeple!
34. Sir- strategic command has send us a lunch order.
35. Yeah, but first I'm gonna go comatose for a few hours, hallucinate vividly, and maybe suffer amnesia about the whole experience.
36. HOLY S***. Guys- people are complicated!
37. OH GOD- SPIDERS
38. Perhaps you need a crash course in taking hints. Here's your first lesson: We're not actually walking somewhere together; I'm trying to leave this conversation and you're following me.
39. How did the pole vaulters get up to our balcony?
40. Friggin' Python
41. I am the goddamn *Michael Jordan* of blurring the line between metaphor and reality. [tosses a basketball] -
When I was discussing this position with their HR, she mentioned they are filing time sheets, but she didn't mention they do it by typing something like "10:10-12:34" in a text area
Now she is like "oh, you'll get used to it, everyone did"1 -
When your neanderthal coworkers use chrome's 'Copy Selector' option to hook into other widgets..
$('body > div:nth-child(34) > div > ul > li:nth-child(3) > a > span:nth-child(2)').click()2 -
I bought a Samsung 34” ultra wide monitor for the express purpose of being able to arrange multiple windows however I deemed necessary for productivity. Only to find out that it natively only offers a single vertical split. The software they provide to offer more split options simply does not work the way it says it will. And DisplayFusion software is no better.
Is it seriously 2018 and we still don’t have a simple way to make the most of a widescreen monitor? Good grief!!!!!8 -
Published on BBC, GCHQ have set the challenge below. Would make a fun simple coding challenge. My thought is to brute-force, is there a more efficient way to solve it?
"Take the digits 1,2,3 up to 9 in numerical order and put either a plus sign or a minus sign or neither between the digits to make a sum that adds up to 100. For example, one way of achieving this is: 1 + 2 + 34 - 5 + 67 - 8 + 9 = 100, which uses six plusses and minuses. What is the fewest number of plusses and minuses you need to do this?"
Edit: disclosure: I believe the challenge has passed already and I'm too lazy to enter anyway so don't worry about me or anyone stealing ideas!2 -
According to my previous rant
https://devrant.com/rants/2867486/...
I watched the movie again, it’s form 1986 and they have car with something that looks like lidar on the roof so 34 years later we have autonomous cars with lidar and we call it innovation. That was so fast.3 -
Oh, come on! Human Resource Machine, Three Sort, a single cycle away from the optimization challenge! What more do you want from me?
Also, I have already gotten the challenge completed for only using 34 commands. I'm increasing the number of commands greatly for the cycle challenge in order to avoid swapping.
1 -
Find an error on line 69... start to giggle....
In dutch a "line" as in "error on line .." can be translated to "regel"
And in dutch "regel" can have two meanings.
Line and Rule.
Error on line 34.
Reading out loud in Dutch: "Error op regel 34"
translated to:
Error on rule 34. Launching out loud and thinking of the possibility.
Will i ever mature...1 -
I had been assigned a task to create a cross-platform desktop application that keeps track of the expiry of a certain product and notify in real-time.
So, my journey to create such an application starts today and the list below describes the first few hours.
1. Google/Date and time in javascript
2. Google/Javascript date object
3. W3school/Time in javascript
4. W3school/Javascript date getTime() method
5. Google/Are electron.js applications platform independent
6. Google/Dart for desktop applications
7. Google/Is dart cross-platform
8. Google/Best desktop application framework
9. Google/Python for desktop app development
10. Freecodecamp/How to build your first desktop application in python
11. Google/Pyqt
12. Google/Which is the best technology to build cross-platform desktop application
13. Google/Cross-platform desktop app development for windows mac and linux
14. Udemy / cross platform desktop app development for windows mac and linux
15. Youtube/ electron desktop app, demo
16. Youtube/ electron.js is obsolete
17. Youtube/Neutralinojs
18. Youtube/ neutralinojs tutorial
19. Google/Neutralinojs or electronjs
20. Google/Math.js
21. Google/Math.js/JS Bin
22. Google/Cannot find package “math.js”
23. StackOverFlow/How do I resolve “cannot find module” error using Node.js
24. Google/ is it better to install npm packages locally
25. Quora/ why should you stop installing NPM packages globally
26. Google/ what is nvm
27. Google/nvm version check
28. Stackoverflow/node version management on windows
29. Github/coreybutler/nvm-windows: a nvm for windows. Ironically written in Go
30. Google/how to uninstall a npm package
31. Npm docs/uninstalling packages and dependencies
32. Google/require in javascript
33. Youtube/how to install electronjs
34. Youtube/electronjs in 100s(fireship.io)
35. Roryok.com/electronjs memory usage compared to other cross-platform frameworks
36. Google/is electronjs memory hungry
37. Youtube/sql in one hour
38. Youtube/learn sql in 60 mins
39. Geeksforgeeks/connect mysql with node app
40. Stackoverflow/How to return to previous directory using cmd
41. Stackoverflow/how to require using const
42. Geeksforgeeks/difference between require and es6 import and export
TO BE CONTINUED...1 -
So this guy, I had a very good connection with someone after so long. I really don't think that someone else will turn out to be this good.
He said he doesn't want marriage ever. He explained himself logically, I understand that too. I, on the other hand, I feel the same about marriage but still want to give it a try.
He is sensible and knows what he is saying, he's 34.
Should I try to convince him? or should I move on?I know it's a big to ask from strangers but looking for some new things to hear.5 -
Does anyone familiar with overclocking Ryzen non-x cpu? I had a Ryzen 7 2700 with gigabyte B450 motherboard. The core voltage locks to 0.9v after clock ratio set to 34 from auto (3.2GHz). But on auto, the vcore is around 1.38v, which is close to max recommendation. Why?9
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Varun Marbles: Custom Marble Design, Granite Tiles Near Me, and Granite Worktops Near Me
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4 -
Viral House: Ihre Experten für TikTok-Marketing
In der heutigen digitalen Welt hat TikTok eine der größten und einflussreichsten Social-Media-Plattformen erlangt. Mit über einer Milliarde aktiver Nutzer weltweit bietet TikTok Unternehmen und Marken eine einmalige Gelegenheit, ihre Zielgruppe auf kreative und unterhaltsame Weise zu erreichen. Bei Viral House, Ihrer Marketingagentur in Bramfelder Dorfpl. 15, 22179 Hamburg, helfen wir Ihnen dabei, das Potenzial von TikTok zu nutzen, um Ihre Marke zu stärken, die Sichtbarkeit zu erhöhen und mit Ihrer Zielgruppe zu interagieren.
Warum TikTok Marketing wichtig für Ihr Unternehmen ist
TikTok ist eine Plattform, die sich durch ihren schnellen, kreativen und oft humorvollen Inhalt auszeichnet. Nutzer verbringen täglich Stunden mit dem Scrollen durch kurze, ansprechende Videos. Für Marken bietet dies die Chance, in einer unterhaltsamen und authentischen Weise mit einer breiten Zielgruppe zu kommunizieren.
Große Reichweite: TikTok hat eine der höchsten Engagement-Raten unter den Social-Media-Plattformen. Videos können viral gehen, was bedeutet, dass Ihre Inhalte eine enorme Reichweite erzielen können – selbst ohne eine große Followerzahl.
Jüngere Zielgruppen: TikTok ist besonders bei jungen Menschen sehr beliebt. Wenn Sie Ihre Zielgruppe in der Altersgruppe der 16- bis 34-Jährigen ansprechen wollen, ist TikTok die perfekte Plattform.
Kreativer Content: TikTok ist bekannt für seine kreativen und oft humorvollen Inhalte. Hier können Marken auf innovative Weise mit ihren Kunden in Kontakt treten und die Marke authentisch und sympathisch präsentieren.
Unsere Dienstleistungen im Bereich TikTok-Marketing
Viral House bietet Ihnen eine breite Palette von Dienstleistungen an, um Ihre TikTok-Strategie zu entwickeln und Ihre Marke auf der Plattform erfolgreich zu positionieren. Wir bieten maßgeschneiderte Lösungen, die Ihre Marketingziele erfüllen und Ihre Zielgruppe effektiv ansprechen.
1. TikTok-Werbung
Mit TikTok Ads können Sie gezielte Werbung schalten, die Ihre Zielgruppe direkt anspricht. Wir erstellen kreative, aufmerksamkeitsstarke TikTok Ads, die sowohl unterhaltsam als auch informativ sind.
In-Feed Ads: Diese Werbung erscheint im Feed der Nutzer und ähnelt den regulären TikTok-Videos. Wir sorgen dafür, dass Ihre Anzeige so gestaltet ist, dass sie sich nahtlos in den Feed einfügt und die Nutzer zum Interagieren anregt.
Branded Hashtag Challenges: Eine der besten Möglichkeiten, auf TikTok viral zu gehen, ist die Durchführung einer Branded Hashtag Challenge. Wir entwickeln und starten eine Challenge, die Ihre Marke in den Mittelpunkt stellt und Nutzer dazu ermutigt, mitzumachen.
TopView Ads: Diese Anzeige erscheint direkt, wenn der Nutzer die App öffnet. Wir gestalten diese Anzeigen so, dass sie sofort die Aufmerksamkeit Ihrer Zielgruppe fesseln und Ihr Branding im Vordergrund steht.
2. TikTok Content Creation
Die Erstellung kreativer Inhalte ist der Schlüssel zum Erfolg auf TikTok. Wir unterstützen Sie bei der Entwicklung von ansprechendem Content, der Ihre Marke authentisch und interessant präsentiert.
Video-Produktion: Wir helfen Ihnen bei der Erstellung von ansprechenden Videos, die Ihre Produkte oder Dienstleistungen in einer unterhaltsamen und kreativen Weise vorstellen.
Storytelling: Storytelling ist eine der effektivsten Methoden, um auf TikTok eine emotionale Verbindung zu Ihrer Zielgruppe aufzubauen. Wir entwickeln eine Geschichte rund um Ihre Marke, die die Nutzer fesselt und zu Interaktionen anregt.
Influencer Marketing: Wir arbeiten mit Influencern zusammen, die Ihre Marke auf TikTok bewerben können. Influencer haben eine starke Anhängerschaft und können Ihre Marke einer breiten Zielgruppe vorstellen.
3. TikTok Community Management
TikTok lebt von der Interaktion. Wir kümmern uns darum, dass Ihre Community aktiv bleibt und mit Ihrer Marke in Kontakt tritt.
Engagement und Interaktionen: Wir beantworten Kommentare, reagieren auf Nachrichten und sorgen dafür, dass Ihre Follower immer wieder in den Dialog mit Ihrer Marke treten.
Content-Planung: Wir erstellen für Sie einen durchdachten Content-Kalender, der sicherstellt, dass regelmäßig frische Inhalte gepostet werden, um das Engagement zu steigern und Ihre Zielgruppe zu halten.
4. TikTok-Analyse und Performance-Tracking
Der Erfolg Ihrer TikTok-Marketing-Kampagnen lässt sich durch kontinuierliche Analyse und Optimierung messen. Wir überwachen Ihre Kampagnen und stellen sicher, dass Ihre Inhalte die gewünschte Wirkung erzielen.
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