Plot twist

Best joke I have read this week...

This is the coding rig for everyone that claims himself THE REAL PROGRAMMER (and everyone else except him is just an idiot, a noob or a kiddo).

Any job interview ever:

Me: Hi I'm here for job X and I'd like to start by asking do you have a dress code?

HR: Well yeah we d..

Me: Thank you for your time, bye.

Facebook videos will soon autoplay with sound.

It's like I didn't have enough reason to leave facebook already.

!rant. Sometimes, trolling your fam is a lot of fun.
Just today my sister asked me how to type the character ÷ on her keyboard. I told her to press : and the - key and then just move it like so.

: -
: -
: -
:-
÷

See? Ez pz. She actually tried it and just said 'i cant, it erases everything'. And then all of my other siblings kept ranting the same thing. I forgot we were in group chat. And now its full of : and - spams. And im just here laughing my ass out.

Brain is a incredible thing!
It works 365 days per year and 24 hours per day. Starting with the day when you born and ending with the moment when you start writing the code.

Just wanted to say that I miss you buddy

-Laughed at Gitlab the other day
-Accidentally dropped my db today.

fuck karma

Thanks to @Dacexi I'm now in the GitHub education program too!

You must use IE.

I was looking for about a month for a laptop. Then on this one magical day I open kijiji and see a Toshiba Thinkpad T450s with 20gb of ram, 138 ssd and an i5-6300U cpu going fo 500$ (value 2000+).

My first thought was. Okay. Scam alert. But you know. What if?

So I call up this person. And its a girl who got a pc from her bf, but really she wanted a mac so she is selling it.

This straight up blew my mind. I decided, fuck it. Got 500. Ran to her. Ran a systems check on the laptop. Checked for any attempts at opening it up. Checked the harddrive. Checked the ram. Everything is solid.

Long story short. Thank god for apple fangirls!

I just have the right tools, you know...

*dies*

I'm mad. Really really mad. I've worked so hard and this guy just comes in makes me feel inadequate. I come in every day and there he is sitting in his corner watching me as I work. For him it's so God damn easy! It takes me hours to do what he accomplishes in mere minutes! Oh yeah and he's such a fat ass too. He doesn't even have to do much to get his food. It just comes to him. I don't know how he fucking does it. He's got no fucking phone! What the hell!? I actually have to get up and go places to get my food. He's so fucking entitled, the little shit. He thinks he's a suave motherfucker. Well I fucking hate him. I might actually get around to killing him and then wiping the floor with him. But today's not that day. He's just a little to high for me to handle, honestly.

I should really just keep my head down and continue working and not let him bother me. But I can always feel it, that stare behind my head. I guess...

spiders are just better web developers than i am

Story of my dev life the past few weeks

Will take this mug to work from today.

(Picture via Twitter)

I BOUGHT A DOMAIN IN MY SLEEP!!!

Now I don't know what to do with it!

Void ReleaseDopamine ()
{
ShowDoggyPicture("quot.png");
RandomJoke();
}

Does anyone agree? 😄

Wrote a vbscript(yeah for Real) that opened the CD tray...and execute it remotely to random guys pcs

Yet, more to come.

If you accidentally send out a porn link, your best line of defense is to send 10 more, then blame it in a virus.

In fact just make a virus at this point.

"Can you give me an estimate on how long it will take you to fix this bug?"

"That's like asking how long it will take to find my keys."

Does anyone else reinstall their OS just because it gets too cluttered? It works fine, but a year and a half of installs and uninstalls have wreaked havoc on my filesystem. I may have OCD...

#truth

No,you can't be a fucking hacker by just knowing python and installing Kali.

Major difference

Dear Prof,

One does not simply encrypt the exam tips and give it to the students in a computer security introductory module.

Sincerely,
Disgruntled Undergraduate

How does a front-end developer get away with murder?

$('body').hide();

//I'll see myself out