Boss: Give me unrestricted access in the system.

Me: It's dangerous. You might break something.

Boss: I'll be careful.

Me: *gives access*

This happened 2 years ago. Now every week he deletes something he shouldn't and break a module for him or for the clients using our system.

Just woke up in a rant email saying that "oUr OnLiNe StOrE DoEs NoT wOrK". Well, that's because you have delete the Cart configuration for all the clients you dumbass. What the fuck were you thinking when you deleted that?

You can't even make this shit up.

The British NCSC is stopping with the terms "blacklist" and "whitelist" because it would be racist...

Fucking oversensitive cocksuckers.

A nice thread to spend some time while waiting for RDS to scale up :)

https://twitter.com/RandallKanna/...

Great programmers...

Refactored an authentication library a while back and teams are now getting around to updating their nuget packages.

It is a breaking change, but a simple one. The constructor takes a connection string, application name, and user name.

A dev messages me yesterday saying ...

Tom: "I made the required changes, but I'm getting a null reference exception when I try to use the authorization manager"

Odd because the changes have been in production for months in other apps, so I asked him to send me a screen shot of how he was using the class (see attached image below).

Me: "Send me a screenshot of how you are using the class"
<I look at what he sent>
Me: "Do you really not see the problem why it is not working?"
<about 10 minutes later>
Tom: "Do I need to pass a real connection string? The parameter hint didn't say exactly what I should pass."
<not true, but I wasn't going to embarrass him any more>
<5 minutes later>
Tom: "The authorization still isn't working"
Me: "Do you still have 'UserName' instead of the actual user name?"
<few minutes later>
Tom: "Authorization is working perfect, thanks!"

A little while later my manager messages me..

B:"I'm getting reports from managers that developers are having a lot of problems with the changes to the authorization nuget package. Were these changes tested? Can you work with the teams to get these issues resolved as soon as possible? I want this to be your top priority today."
Me: "It was Tom"
B: "Never mind."

I'd love to have one of these majestic creatures lol

Hahaha let me see who knows 😃😃

Our PM just send a mail to our team, that after testing the latest extension we made to the project, he could not find a single issue or bug (usually there are some minor UI problems or some edge case bugs we did not think about or know existed)
and what a incredibly great job we did, and he also forwarded the mail to all our managers up the hierarchy right under the CEO.
The appreciation is a nice change to the self-hatred I feel while coding

Programmer greatest lie -> TODO: Fix me

Don't look at my branch...

Rage debugging...

No need for any analytics 😂

Credits: https://twitter.com/shanselman/...

Is it just me or do the ducks look pretty quacking thiicccccc?

This being the view from my desk

Heard a fun quote from a project manager today:

"Naaah we don't need tests, that project is so small it wouldn't be worth it"

Seconds later: "Why does this keep breaking all the time and we only notice it once deployed?"

Client presentation. Analyst is working from home. She stands up for a split second and reveals she is not wearing pants.

When your Boss openly refers to projects as Micro-sites to the client, devaluing the scope of work, and being completely unaware of the actual scope of work, which is essentially a twitch platform, to be built on wordpress, with integration to Power Point Dock, and a live chat queue

Social Distancing is now a good thing.

Suddenly, my greatest skill is in high demand.

.......

*company introduces no overtime pay during coronavirus*

"I've hit my monthly hours so what we doing for the rest of the month?"

Boss: "basically, we thought you could work for free" 😂 😂

My lift in nutshell

All my unit tests work, all my component tests work, why the FUCK does it give me a 'Verification Failed' error?

1 hour later:
Oh wait this is the wrong public key

Did the author of core-js, get a good job yet?

I'm tired so I let my dog find the bug on my code.

When you work from home and your manager wants a word with you.

Designer: can we put the popup at the top of the screen?

Me: You mean op top of the navigation?

Designer: Yeah.

Me: I sure can. Would be stupid to block off the site navigation with a popup, but definately possible.

Designer: Cool, let me know when done!

Me: ....

Me: I am done.

Designer: Well now I can't click on the navigation anymore.

Me: That's correct. Let me know when you want to change it again.

Want one

Due to Coronavirus (COVID19) all TCP applications are being converted to UDP to avoid handshake.

How to boost profits

watching my model training...