New job. They asked me whether they should give me a new laptop or will I be using my own

Although Im more comfortable using my own, should I accept the company laptop? (It's the same laptop I currently have)

I bypassed the payment system on a paying Internet terminal in Egypt by booting into safe mode. I was 14, and there was no other way of getting Internet, so I was really proud of myself 😁

I've been interested in security for years but despite knowing the theory I've always had this disconnect with actually doing it, about two years ago I finally managed to find and exploit my first cross-site scripting vulnerability in my companies Product whilst doing some routine acceptance testing. It was a penny drop moment for me which has led to some very interesting projects and It was pretty badass.

Just 4 more days for the last interview of my dream job. Pls be Thursday already!

"Look I found a good use of this piece of shit printer"

That time when I was wrong, the client was wrong, but my algorithm was right.

I'm proud of you son

Scared the shit out of g/f by using festival on Linux.

SSH'd into computer in bedroom from bathroom, announcing
"I am Lucifer. I'm coming for you, Jenny!"
Followed by a shutdown of PC. She shit herself banging on the bathroom door.
😂

So the water dispenser in the kitchen does not have sparkling water, which I love. But there's one in the meeting room down the corridor that has sparkling water!

Like any regular employee of course I filed a request with site manager to upgrate the kitchen dispenser... NOT!

I wrote an app that sits in the taskbar when minimized and shows a traffic light with the status of the meeting room availability so I know when it's clear to go fetch me some of that bubbly goodness!

Took the memory usage of a C++ program from 1.5GB to 700mb at work. Good times...

That struggle man! When you know you did it right, but it outputs completely different thing...

Another day at CS Class :

Friend : " Lol! Is that Linux? "

Me : " Yeah why? "

Friend : " That shit sucks man, go use Windows! "

Me : *im going to kill you face expression*

The experience that made me feel like a dev badass was when a teammate accidentally deleted the database for production and I had the latest backup. Everybody was panicking not until I told them I had the solution

‎Ways of doing a for loop.

School starts back up tomorrow 😭

All code ninjas out there have a story, and it all started with the Hello World!!!.
What a Irony.

When you have to do some live coding in front of highly technical people during a presentation, and the coding Gods decide to take away all your typing skills.

I'm so done with indeed and jobstreet. I couldn't find an office job that I passionately love. Most are looking for PHP devs, ASP.NET devs, Java devs or effing fresh graduates with 5 years of experience. I guess it's time for me to learn freelancing.

Don't judge me, but i don't have any special cup for coffee

‎I can't find intelligent life anywhere!

😂 😂 😂

I do push-ups and sit-ups whilst running long running CPU-intensive jobs so that I can feel the burn along with my CPU.

*confession*

I'm one of *those* developers that sold their soul to Microsoft technology stack early in their career, and then bought in into even more narrow specialization, SharePoint dev (Could easily have been Dynamics or similar) ...

...And almost don't regret it. The only concern is becoming obsolete in time, but I suppose life of a developer is always learning, so all should be fine.

Major kudos to all non-MS developers, I enjoy reading about your lives here.

This is me everytime I SSH into my other linux computers, feels good man

When your cat wants to code...

iOS: Hey, human wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.

iOS: Out of Memory.
Me: What?

iOS: I ain't explaining shit.

What I did wrong during my home office cleaning session this morning:
- put soap on my mouse mat
- snapped my enter key
- vacuumed up my F8 key
- absent-mindedly cut my ethernet cable
- lost my zero key
- dropped my backup hard drive (data was recoverable, but I need a new drive)
- lost one of the nose pads on my glasses
- got a cocktail stick stuck in a USB port
- exploded my mouse by using the wrong type of battery

Things I did good:
- nothing

This is like..... Spot on. 😂

My team mate trying to focus!

git commit -m "because cafés never have enough outlets and my laptop is dyiii---"

FUCK this startup mentality of implementing all these external services and APIs for absolutely fucking everything.

I get that your vacuous fresh-mint-tea-soaked hipster brains are all cheering about these "only $10/month/seat" services, because you imbeciles with your nodejs-sticker-plastered macbooks have never done anything but knot the work of other dimwits together.

I don't even care about the subscription costs. That shit is more trouble to maintain than writing it yourself, and there's no guarantee that visualizemyballs.com & lintmycock.io still work tomorrow.

I'm getting so sick of being barraged with 502 bad gateway errors because you halfassed yet another API implementation. Stop advertising your crossfit stats, your meditation-app records and your vegan protein bars for a minute, and maybe start writing some fucking code of your own, something with a higher shelf-life than your iPhone screen...

You know... something which actually fucking adds value to the world.