Fcknlol!

Friend : Dude I have mastered Object Oriented Programming. I work only in classes now.
Me : That's nice! Only a Few people manage to master it. Which language do you prefer though?
Friend : CSS
Me : :/

A logician comes back from paternity leave and enters his shared office.

His colleague: Hey! Congratulations with your newborn, is it a boy or a girl?

Logician: Yes.

Via Pundora, Facebook

["hip","hip"]

(hip hip array!)

Happens all the time.

Rant that involved my manger hit a decent amount of ++.
Just seen him downloading devRant.

WHEN YOU DON’T LISTEN TO THE PROGRAMMER...

WRITE IN C ('LET IT BE')
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
"Write in C."
As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
"Write in C."
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.
I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.
If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC's not the answer.
Write in C.
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.

When you think the progress be has stopped moving...

Ps... It was still moving.

This is the snackbar at my university's computer science building

Yep lol

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Found this gem in our code

Kindly asking for help

age++ this is how I get a happy birthday wish

LOL :D

so my parents live close and my dad said his router died. I told him I had a spare. I loaded it dd-wrt on there and next time I went over there he asked about opening a port. I said I could do it for him. wouldn't let me touch it. he believes he is the computer genius and that I would brake it.

funny part is I work on servers for huge companies like Wells Fargo, Ally Bank and tons of others. I can configure a rack mount router but he doesn't trust me to touch a little crappy home linksys router lol.

no matter how smart you are they never want to admit their kid knows more about tech than they do.

One day they will understand: a "/" is not a backslash and "\" is not a forward slash

The internet is down at the clients place, could you make the website visible on cable TV?

Time for some serious debugging

"A software Engineer? Why don't you do a real job instead of fixing people's computers?"

- ex gf 2011

"I'm proud you do something you love"

- wife 2016

This pro developer in my work just made me look like a fucking useless potato today. Although he was really nice and made me understand what the problem was.

Damn man, he knows too much 😓

That moment when you got a new monitor but have to wait 4 more days for the mini DisplayPort to DVI adapter to arrive to be able to use it 😫

Welcome to the new world. Microsoft is now the top open source contributor on Github.

!rant
Me and my girlfriend just broke up.
I was sad at first but now I can really start focusing on some really interesting projects.

Such as my new secret website that I will release soon. I think you'll like it.

I used to like devRant... then it was flooded with 5 year old shit post memes :(

That time when your table start looking like a Toblerone..

And then crash crash.. crash...crash

My life is a mess but my code is clean.