When you get the last laugh

I did a thing! Also, Magento can go to hell.

Pain the ass sales guy walks into my office uninvited. Looks at one of my screens which has sftp copying a lot of files and spewing out each one. He asks what that "nonsense" is.

I politely tell him that it is all his sales data and I am deleting it. At which point I got up and went to lunch with no further discussion.

The next phone call I received was from my boss asking me to stop fucking with the sales people. I hope he learned to knock after this.

Using windows 10 makes me feel like this sometimes...

Windows is being an over-achiever today

Every programmers dream convo

Basically...

"no micro managing here!"

*Boss comes in at 5*
- how much work have you done?
- why isn't this finished yet?
- you're working too slow
- show me git status
- show me git log
- why is this taking you so long?

Can we talk about Google Allo for a second?

What the everloving f*ck, Google? I don't get it. You built a perfectly solid, pretty chat app with lots of neat features and interesting ideas. And then you ruin it by completely neutering SMS support.

Here's (roughly) what your recipient gets when you message someone who isn't on Allo:

(Allo)(Name): <message> Send STOP to stop Allo messages. Download Allo here: <shortlink>

iMessage figured out SMS integration three f*cking years ago, how could you guys have messed this up so bad?

</rant>

You know how people say insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result? Those people have never done different things and gotten the same result.

God mode on!!

(sorry if this is a repost!)

When you fuck up your repo so bad it transforms into guitar hero

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

The difference between a Master and a Novice, is that the Master had failed more times than a Novice had ever tried.

"A software Engineer? Why don't you do a real job instead of fixing people's computers?"

- ex gf 2011

"I'm proud you do something you love"

- wife 2016

I need this!

Feels like it

CSS 101: How to check if elements are directly under each other

Came across a special variable name ::. dicParser

Oddly satisfying devRant +1s

Leave your desk and go for a short walk. When you return talk through the issue with someone else.

this shit happens 😑 😂 😝 😛

My girlfriend got bitten by a mosquito and kept scratching it.
After I complained about the size of the bite, she said "c'mon it's just a bit, not big enough to be a byte".
When I finished facepalming (it took a while), I realized how proud I am of her.

One of the project manager came to one of our senior pro developer to say something. Before he even said anything the senior dev said:

Oh Fuck, not you again!

The pm politely left the area