man, SCRUM is a FUCKING chord, sometimes. Isn’t it supposed to make us productive and not hog time and resources?

Here’s to a hopefully better 2024!

Let’s all tell our bitchface thundercunt micromanagers to fuck off, find better employ elsewhere, and finally make progress on that side project that was our world several months ago.

And if the world continues going absolutely mental, may all of you find a peaceful meadow away from everyone and build yourselves wonderful little cottages.

No Fucking way am i gonna work 40 more years for $8.125 an hour. Fuck off. Thats $624,000 EARNED OVER MY ENTIRE LIFETIME

Literally everyone in this corporate industry can get fucked. I have to escape this trashhole rat race. No other option for me

Dear assholes of the internet. Next time you publish an article/tutorial/story etc, PUT THE FUCKING PUBLICATION DATE AT THE TOP.

I don’t care about your need to be minimalist, FUCK YOU, INCLUDE THE DATE.

Fuck python and its stupid fucking imports.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

my best career decision?
discarding my original plan to do PhD and get into (natural) science, studying computer science / software engineering instead, and starting software development in a company that builds cool devices.
i really like what i am doing and i feel like i found something that's "my thing".

it took me a while to get there, but it was totally worth it.

Today teaching the product managers what the channel in "selected for development" in Jira means.

Guess what? IT MEANS THE FEATURE IS READY TO BE DEVELOPED ON, NOT SOME HALF-BAKED CROCK POT IDEA WITH A TWO-SENTENCE DESCRIPTION DESCRIBING ABSOLUTELY FUCK ALL!!!

Code monkey see bad code.
Code monkey don’t say anything.
Nobody ask code monkey.
Linter see bad code too.
Nobody pay attention to linter.
Code monkey get more bananas on Thursday.
Code monkey grateful for bananas.
Maybe one day, code monkey make banana tree.

so much good music in this world for us lowly mortals

How the fuck am I going to make a fucking email signature appear the same everywhere when the client insists in using a piece of shit software called Outlook and I am a goddam backend developer.

I don't give a shit about spacing and color and stupid fucking fonts.

Thank for listening. Have a great day.

Some people get ego boost when they get positions like team lead or manager for software development team. In a nutshell you don't know shit about programming how the fuck you became tech lead? You fucked up the entire project that you managed and now shifting blame on someone else. Well fuck you!

You know what I mean

Interviewer: For this next code challenge you will not be allowed to use the internet, or an IDE.

Dev: …

Interviewer: OR a keyboard OR a mouse. I will be verbalizing the code to you and you need to memorize it and tell me where the bugs are.

Dev: …

Interviewer: We must do this exercise to know how you are as a dev without any performance enhancing “aid”. This way we can understand where you are truly at skill-wise, and what you are truly worth from a compensation perspective.

Dev: …

Dev: If I get a job with you will I be allowed to use the internet and an IDE and a keyboard/mouse?

Interview: Of course you would! Getting anything done without those is just about impossible. We just need to evaluate you without them to see how good you REALLY are.

Dev: …

I think my days as a dev are over
shit fuck!!!!
All i know is writing code, schematics, systems recommendations
Was given a tender doc for a project
the doc was in 2 parts "Technical" & "Financial"
I HAVE NEVER DONE A TENDER BEFORE and little did i know a shit load of documents are required
MY BOSS GOT FURIUS SINCE I DIDNT COMPILE ALL DOCS and 1 required doc was expired tried to get it renewed and renewal will take 3 week or 1 month and deadline was in 2 hours time
FUCK!!!!

F U C K M E ! ! ! ! !

At a large enterprise-sized company, you are protecting the code and product from outside / bad actors constantly trying to break in. (🧠)

At a medium or small-sized company, you are protecting the code and product from clueless customers or users who can potentially break things for themselves. (🧠🧠)

At a sTaRtUp, you are protecting the code and product from being destroyed by the incompetent owners themselves. (🧠🧠🧠+)

After a decade of working in the web development industry, I have given up all hope, it's the same fucking stupid ideas, the same retarded problems in every damned company . Monkeys discovering and reinventing the same fucking wheel over and over and over again. From a 5 man company to the unicorn scaleup (and everything between) I have had to implement access control systems, and various REST API's following the design made by mongrels who do it the first time . I have become to hate the work I once was so passionate about. Just fuck this shit , if anybody had told me when I was in my early 20's that this is what I end up doing I'd go and learn to be a carpenter instead.

Bobcat puts up with so much