Don't understand USB storage?
Well here it is, in a nutshell -

USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails

When ransomeware guys provide better customer support than most companies 😂

Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?

Teacher - Yes

A group of people stand up and walking to the door

Teacher - Where are you all going ?

Students - We are going to drop this class.

How to remove WannaCry: Russian edition

I think Tim Berners-lee's CV prob doesn't give him enough credit: "Web developer".

My handwriting is so bad... That it is now being used as a Captcha.!

Proud dad moment:
My son just worked out how to use a firestick remote to put Thomas on TV.
He's 2.
My parents can barely work their remote without playing 20 questions.
Not long before he learns how to use bash now!

Code like a God, in Chinese..

My first dev job was the worst! The woman in charge of the building was always on my ass! She didn't really understand what programming was and didn't like that I smoked in my office... Then I moved out of my mom's house and got my own place

When your coworker appreciates your code saying it's neat and beautiful

I accidentally washed my headphones along with my clothes last night. One side has lost all bass 😢

On the plus side, they smell amazing.

When your boss asks you to create an integration for fb but fb is blocked at the office and he refuses to give you access.
#GodWhy #SaveMe

Freelance programmers

Haha, always a gem ❤

Gillette Excel

Moving from working remotely to full time in office. Pants are overrated!

"If builders built houses the way programmers built programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization." Gerald weinberg.

When you walk in the room for your interview and you see a whiteboard on the wall

#Gitlab database 😀😀😉

So, i live in Venezuela, a country with a lot of economical and political issues. Back in December I talked to my boss an ask for a pay raise, he talked me a lot of shit about economical issues his has been having with the Enterprise and give my a raise plan til July (starting in December).

Now he comes to me and tell me he can't afford to pay me the rest of the raise, because he's now in difficult times. The funny thing is I've talked to him many times to point it out some things that are bad and will cause him money loss.

I really don't want to go because I love the people I'm working with (they have the same problem that I) but is fucking frustrating when all is going wrong and you have some ideas to solve it, ideas you have searched a lot and came with a plan after a bunch of investigation, you come up with the plan everybody seems to love it but after that nobody applies it.

I think there is no much more I can do

System.io.weed

Angry programmer:
YOU WANT A PUBLIC KEY?
YOU WANT A PUBLIC KEY?
*smashes keyboard*
THERE'S YOUR PUBLIC KEY

When you write BS logic, but the code works anyways...

I'd like to have... A Kernel Panic please, no sudo on top.

Programming facts #2

I got an F on my first Java assignment in high school. I decided to use a List to store stuff as opposed to his method of creating 8 variables and copy-pasting method calls to interact with them. Apparently he doesn't like students using concepts he hadn't taught yet.

When the inventor of the USB stick dies, they'll gently lower the coffin, then pull it back up, turn it the other way, then lower it again.

10 points for next century option.

It's not a bug, it's​ a feature. Source:commitstrip.com