When back-end engineers get excited about something.

Question: What is the most used language in programming?

Answer: Profanity

When the Tester is not at his Desk 😂

To all new devs:
- Your language of choice is fine.
- There is no superior way to indent, yours is fine.
- Your IDE is fine.
- Your OS is fine.

Unless you work in my team, of course.

I know a few developers who do this 😂

When I'm bored I play developers roulette.

($RANDOM % 6 == 0) && rm -rf / || echo "Click"

.illuminati {
position: absolute;
visibility: hidden;
}

Programming in a nutshell

margin-right: -100px !important

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

Upgrading the framework.

user: bro I have 32 bit windows 7. The game needs 64 bit to play. How can i get it ?
user: will it work if I install my windows twice?
IT guy: Yes install it twice you will also get windows 14.
user: thanks a lot man. You are a legend

Do any of you guys or gals sit outside and code?

Since 2009 this has been my primary work place (even in the cold and rain), I go to the office for mostly non-coding work and have a pc inside for serious sessions but I'd say 80% of my heads down dev time is spent sitting here. A little quirk is when people call or Skype me they'll immediately say "I can hear birds in the background, where are you??".

Anyway, I'm moving soon and thought I should share while I still can ☺️

WTF GOOGLE CHROME!!

Dealing with a client that won't pay:

Add opacity to the body tag and increase it every day until the site completely fades away...

Fcknlol!

That. Simple.

Sometimes I get self conscious about saying it too often

How it feels holding the power button when the pc freezes

My GF just selected all files on her harddrive and clicked "Open".

The look at her face when she figured out what she have done.

BONUS: She restarts her computer, and upon start she selects Yes to the "Your computer shutdown unexpected, would you like to re-open the applications" popup 😂

You know things just got serious when you reach for pen and paper.

My 9 year old son checks out the source code of every website he visits. If he finds something he doesn't understand, he bounces it off me. I love the snot outta that kid ❤️❤️❤️.

And then there is this beauty...

Late night coding and my last git message is "changed a shit load of stuff...don't worry I got this"

Good thing this a personal project haha

I was explaining git and Github to one of my friends during our boring maths class when he asked : "What is the difference between git and Github?". Just then another friend of mine sitting in front turns out and said : "It's like the difference between porn and Pornhub".

About Brexit.

Need one of those

Here is mine. #wk15 😎😎

This is how cables are meant to be! 😍