Details
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AboutA Computer Science Enthusiast involved in Algorithms, Machine Learning and Web Development.
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Skillsjs, python, c++, php, algorithms, data structures
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LocationWashim
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Website
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Github
Joined devRant on 3/23/2018
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Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁61 -
Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.53 -
"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"
So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.
First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.
So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.
Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?
I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.
Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?
"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"
So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.
More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!
I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.
And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.
"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."
You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!
"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."
I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.
So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.
You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.105 -
Happened when I was young, and used uTorrent. Dad called some technicians to find out why Windows was running slow. They came and after fiddling about for 20 mins, declared that uTorrent was the problem.
And then deleted the desktop icon.
:()3 -
HR: How many years you've been developing on Android ?
Me: Two years, with many projects on my own.
HR: So, you're familiar with Android Studio?
Me: No, I've been using "Paint" to code.37 -
My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.
GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"37 -
Does anyone else suddenly lose the ability to type properly as soon as someone is watching/pairing?40
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What devrant taught me:
Everyone hates java
Everyone hates php
Everyone hates spaces
Everyone hates tabs
Everyone hates vim
Everyone hates windows
Everyone hates linux
Everyone hates clients
Everyone hates PMs
Everyone hates every language they're not working with
Everyone loves devrant 😊36 -
If doctors were like software engineers, they would say things like “Have you tried killing yourself and being reborn?”4
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Got migrated from 3-nerd room to 18 person open office. Even call centers have cubicles, but noooo.
Who the FCK invented open plan offices?
I can see how the morons are rubbing their two cells together:
"Who on earth would like to have some quiet when thinking? Thinking is for nerds! Sales people make money and they like to yell all over the F!#!#! place.
Fck this. Turning in my resignation today.7 -
"FOAAS (Fuck Off As A Service) provides a modern, RESTful, scalable solution to the common problem of telling people to fuck off."
https://foaas.com/
I think the world needed this13 -
What do you guys do when you get bored at work?
this is what I do:
1. Drink Water
2. Stare at the code
3. Go to Bathroom
4. repeat16 -
Manager: Morning Alex, how are you?
My Brain: I'm fan-fucking-tastic, I've had 1 hour of sleep, hurt my back, feels like my tail bone is broken, struggling to walk, every piece of code I've written for the past 3 day's has been a complete waste of time and I'm at work...
Me actually: Good thanks .-.3 -
I found a vulnerability in a food delivery app api that allows me to add credit to my account. I ate my first free meal today but i feel bad about it. What should i do 😞.
1- continue hacking free credit and eating free food.
2- stop and forget i found this bug
3- report the bug in exchange for money/credit
4- report the bug for free24 -
After countless hours trying to spell my name for customer service over the phone, I made a little webpage that helps me spell words phonetically! 💬
https://dialogue.now.sh35 -
Client: I want to go to the moon!
Me: Sure thing! I will build you a rocket.
Client: But I want you to build me a car.
Me: A car can not take you to the moon.
Client: Build me a car.
Me: OK.11 -
Her: Who are you texting over there?
Me: Texting my new girlfriend.
Her: 😒
Me: Jk, it's devrant.
Her: I knew it, you're texting that girl Devranta.2 -
Jesus Christ Almighty fucking Instagram is a real shit show lately.
So many fucking bots. The porn bots than spam comments and DMs, the bots people tag in comments that get you a lot of likes and then just people that use bots to comment on posts.
Like fucking hell bruh can y'all fix your shit?7 -
Me: The phone rings but when I pick up there's nothing there.
Indian call center: Okay sir can you tell me if the landline is plugged into the modem
Me: It's ringing. Yes, it's plugged in.
Indian call center: Okay we'll reset the modem.
Me: I already did that. Twice. Just to be able to speak to you because the robot made me.
Indian call center: Okay so we'll reset your modem again.
*resets*
Indian call center: Do you get a dial tone now?
Me: Yes. I have this entire time. No one can call me.
Indian call center: Sir that is not possible.
Me: Call it and see for yourself.
Indian call center: *calls, phone hangs up for them the second I answer*
Why did you hang up on me, sir?
Me: *internal screaming*3