Roses are red,
Bluescreens are blue,
Windows enrages me,
I‘m telling you.

I met my girlfriend via online dating and she is often checking out recipes on social media, so I came up with the idea to combine cooking and Tinder as a tiny side project.

I built an app that lets you swipe recipes to add them to your cookbook and called it "Daily Cook" and it is available on both Android and iOS. :)

How do you deal with the thought of death? I don't want to die. I'm scared. I'm not in danger but just the thought of death disturbs me.

Just learned that my employer withhold part of my salary every month the past 5 months! I did not notice it as it was overtime compensation.

I first thought maybe it was a mistake so I asked, the reply I got was: Oh you know that compensation we agreed upon? I wasn't having it anymore so I decided to half it and been since then editing the hours you billed every week to reflect that and accedently forget to tell you.

Accedently?! My ass! One week is believable but not 20 weeks. The only reason I found out is that they tried to lower the compensation even further which caused these hours to show up differently in the hour declaration software we use.

So currently on my way to return company's property and quit.

Everyone is getting too sensitive. Soon enough you can’t call someone a noob or a junior.

What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter? An irrelephant.

8 days and i'm never gonna touch Javascript, CSS, Angular and anything frontend-related for the rest of my life.

I cannot be happier.

I got today my first job as a junior dev🎉

I just quit my job!

Best monday ever

Just picked up my first BMW motorcycle.

2016 S1000RR

Extremely excited 😀

Don't tell anybody but I basically spent 8 hours today trying to write one email.

WTF!
Linkedin stories..

this is not Instagram or Facebook or any of those sites.

Linked in is for Companies and yourself to have a public CV in a fixed format that for everyone is the same and easy to understand! F#CK!!

Brought the funny

I got really depressed today for many many self-inflicted reasons so i'd like to propose we change Rule 2 of Technology to "You will fuck up, and when you do, you will fuck up REALLY REALLY HARD."

I finished my cup of coffee in the morning watching YouTube and it's 1pm

Webpage: It looks like you are using ad-blocker
Me: It looks like you are getting closed biatch.

It's those annoying bugs that keep you employed, not your university degree

Im a idiot in a world full of idiots

You must be really senior to pull this off 🤣🤣

This bitch at work is afraid of hard work and is currently spending more energy fighting the work than just doing it.

She wants to keep a legacy setting that's on the wrong scope -- per merchant, not per payment -- in addition to the setting I've added on the correct scope. She's bringing in management two levels up all because "I've already moved on from this" and "it will require me to write code quite a bit" (first paraphrased for clarity, second is an exact quote)

Bitch, your way is dirty as fuck and is going to break things. Roll up your sleeves and do your damn job!

Dafuck is that swiftUI, already hate reactjs to the bones, and now here we go again, i must code those nested views hell and predict the data channels.
This is killing agile programming bigtime

Client presentation. Analyst is working from home. She stands up for a split second and reveals she is not wearing pants.

Due to Coronavirus (COVID19) all TCP applications are being converted to UDP to avoid handshake.

Had a dodgy stomach. Muted the mic & let out an almighty fart.

Only, as you'll have guessed (and I quickly guessed from the silence that followed), I'd missed the mute button.

Image of the day

A guy on another team who is regarded by non-programmers as a genius wrote a python script that goes out to thousands of our appliances, collects information, compiles it, and presents it in a kinda sorta readable, but completely non-transferable format. It takes about 25 minutes to run, and he runs it himself every morning. He comes in early to run it before his team's standup.

I wanted to use that data for apps I wrote, but his impossible format made that impractical, so I took apart his code, rewrote it in perl, replaced all the outrageous hard-coded root passwords with public keys, and added concurrency features. My script dumps the data into a memory-resident backend, and my filterable, sortable, taggable web "frontend"(very generous nomenclature) presents the data in html, csv, and json. Compared to the genius's 25 minute script that he runs himself in the morning, mine runs in about 45 seconds, and runs automatically in cron every two hours.

Optimized!

If you are sending me data to use, DO NOT FUCKING SEND ME AN IMAGE FROM EXCEL.

- just do your job. Close this ticket already and go to the next one

- It's just a 1 minute job.. Don't build scripts for things that simple!

- Look, we don't have time to spare for coffee breaks. Stop wasting your time on scripting!

- netikras, the IST shift fucked things up again. I need you to do your magic and clear those alerts

- netikras, there are 20 tickets waiting to be investigated. Either your coleagues spend 2 hours on them or you do your magic in 2 minutes, as always..

- netikras, please share your scripts with your team

- netikras, I have nominated you for the Star Award for your script

- netikras, here's the star award and the financial prize. Those are nice swarovskies you've picked for your wife! Good choice!

- Since our team has lots of spare time now, I urge you all to attend X, Y and Z trainings. Trainings and Certification expenses are covered

A very similar scenario has just happened in 2 last workplaces of mine. In both cases I was the one to build the script despite my management's requests to stop wasting time and resources on them.

When I see what is wrong and take some actions to right those wrongs, when superiors build roadblocks for me claiming it's not worth it and in the end I still build my solutions and become the most efficient person/team in the whole department -- that right there is what boosts my ego to the sky and above!! It proves I am actually on the right track. It proves that I in fact have a better understanding than those who should have it.

It just makes me tick!

Looking for another adventure like that :) With more power to change things this time

I mean, they're not wrong...

In response to:
https://devrant.com/rants/2149067/...
I took your advice.
She said yes 😁