As someone in charge of reviewing this code, how would you react to this function that contains, what could be, the longest ever readable return statement.

Shit... I just got my phone stolen. Realized it 40 seconds post factum [left it at the shop counter and someone took it].
20 minutes later called the police [cuz I had to get home and use wife's phone].
5 min later poluce arrived
10 min later they got all they could from shop's security officer.
Police officer asks me to login my samsung acc on his phone. 2 minutes later we are on the way to the exact location my phone is at.
15 minutes later officer hands me my samsung 😁

got my phone back in less than an hour after theft.

maybe... Ummm... Maybe all this tracking thing is not that bad...?

The world according to devrant.

Friendly reminder for travalers:

You can usually reset your free WiFi time at airport networks by clearing cookies :)

Should I tell my kids that I liked PHP when I was young or will they be bullied in school if their friends find out about their dad?