Reading google revies of hospitals is one of my pet peeves. Like it is certainly not an indication to the hospitals quality. As there are mostly people reviewing who had a bad experience. Also a lot of hysterical people who are like: "Walked into the ER with minor headache. Was appalled at the wait time and left. Never going back there again. Worst service everrrr" or "The service woman at the front desk could neither give me a precise diagnosis nor where I had to go to get my second lobotomy."

my scrum master keeps changing the format of retro and it works worse every time. We're at the 2.5 hour mark right now. It is aggressively hot and humid in the office. Everyone is asleep.

I don't think there's a way to explain to him that the purpose of a retro is not to magically fix things within the format but to financially commit to the preference for conversation, from which the hidden work of resolving conflicts can be billed.

Manager: Keep the debug logs
Me: I won't use them as I use the status report or run it manually to see the problem, but fine whatever.

1 week later

Manager: the debug logs are hard to read, the status report is hard to read too but it's a bit more concise
Me: Yes. The fuck you want me to do? I don't use logs and don't care. You can write code, make the logs more useful to you if you want to use them.

I need a polite way to ask someone if they're brain damaged.

If you were a code antipattern, what would it be?

I'm definitely NIH -- "Not Invented Here".

I write everything from scratch. When I don't, more often than not, I don't install code deps -- I copy their code and modify it. I port it to my set of utils, my syntax preferences, optimize it, strip parts and modes I don't need, and at the end there's no clear line between what was my code and what wasn't. My code doesn't import, it absorbs.

Job search isn't easy.

Not because there aren't any jobs, but because I am afraid of anything that seems remotely like my current toxic workplace.

Fack.

Omfg.. I couldn't understand what the doc jotted down on the recipe about using the prescribed drug. Took a pic, uploaded to chatgpt -- it transcribed dvery single word correctly.

Dear Lord....

My colleague thought process became the average of all possible existing LLMs. He has perplexity, ChatGPT, Claude and Cursor open on different tabs every time I go check on him. He is literally performing majority vote on all possible LLMs -> he basically stopped thinking.

German public wifi reminds me of the Internet in early 90s 🤬😫😫😫🤯

Have you ever proposed great ideas to the company, yet they were rejected time after time, only for some half-assed golden favorite boy to steal the show for you with their half-assed idea?

I mean, now I understand that once you've been long enough in the industry, you express a deep, long sigh at least once a day. Plus, it affects your mental health. Not giving a fuck and just working on yourself more and your personal projects is crucial.

getting fired on 20th june 2025 and it is SUCH a fucking relief to not ever see this 30 year old garbage code project EVER AGAIN!!!! and moving onto modern technology project for another client. FUCK OFF 🇨🇭♿️🇨🇭♿️🇨🇭♿️

My project mananger let it slip during the sprint review that the upper managers are making plans to do lay offs / cut the fat.

What an ideal moment to hand in my resignation.

Company wants to change to a different cloud provider because of credits :/
Thus rebuilding the infrastructure from ground up.

Worst part is Azure sucks.

A blackbox seo tool that was made by aliens we use says that a couple of our WordPress sites are loading very slowly, so I enable caching through nginx and increase the resources available to them through high capacity fpm pools. They scan again and almost nothing has changed with the page load score.

So I look in lighthouse, which I just learned about, and I find that several of the pages have several MB size images. So that means I'll have to mogrify the entire uploads directory to try to get the size down.

It also suggests I use avif to save a ton of data, which I'm torn on. I hate downloading an image and it not being a normal format that everything can open. But my sites are not image sharing sites, so it's a lot less annoying to the user since they will never realize they're getting an avif. That also means I will have to redo all the image links to point to the avif instead of the original, which sounds like the least fun activity ever.

Another thing that I keep seeing is that Elementor is just slow and slow page loads are part of the deal. If we have to scrap Elementor, that means I will have to be more involved in developing the WordPress sites and I really don't want to.

Client: “We need a very simple app where waiters speak orders, and it prints automatically. No typing.”

Also client:

Speech-to-text with noise

Identify table, dish, modifiers

Group orders per table

Add more orders later

Dual printer output

CSV reports

Budget? Less than a round of beers at the bar.

trying to make sense of code you wrote more than half a year ago

Americans love to complain that schools don't teach students about taxes...
If American schools started teaching American youth about American taxes, how they work and where all this money is going, it will end in either First American Socialist Revolution or the Second American Civil War.

Client began micromanaging our project :/ . Now we have to log our hours on each task and then replicate that in another time tracking system. Double-accounting...

And we do not get the Jira's Tempo plugin to see a summary of what hours we've logged.

It's reached the point where now I have to create a task to cover for the hour spent for time logging alone :/

damn it. It was a fun project though.

Quote of my CEO today: "We are never going to get an other lawyer as customer... Only problems!"

Imagine our users knowing their rights, such a shame.

We are refactoring the core feature of our unique selling point of our backend that all our products use.

And our product manager just decided that we will roll it out on Wednesday and we will not do any tests. r/whatcouldgowrong

Someone's going to be fired. Not me. When I joined my current company I was severely unwell. The survival rate for the state I was in was only slightly better than cancer (at 2 years less than 3 in 4 survive). I told work all of this. As far as I can tell they did nothing. As far as I can tell they didn't belive me. They've now got shitty about my performance and have actually asked for an independent review of my health. It is bad. It's significantly better than it was and it probably sounds worse than it is, but it is bad. They don't even know how much worse it was when I joined because they DIDN'T GET AN ASSESSMENT LIKE THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO. Someone is getting fired. HR hasn't responded to my emails since last Tuesday when they got the assessment. The only person that's said anything to me is my manager, he was in a bit of a grump last Wednesday (I don't think they'd told him yet) but he's being nice today, not a single word of criticism.

Someone is getting fired.

A cautionary tale, dear devRanters:

"My husband was laid off by Microsoft after 25 years — by algorithm. His last day is his birthday."

https://reddit.com/r/microsoft/...

Enjoy life outside of work

Tomorrow is monday, and it looks like ~4h of meetings everyday...

My team mate is so fucking bad that I use his mistakes as interview questions for internship positions. So I really make sure I don't have a second Ouistiti in my team.

A shout out to those considering deleting their dR account [esp. old timers here] and still on the fence. If you can -- don't.

If you're an old timer here, chances are you actually dev-ranted about real dev issues and possibly posted a solution found after all the frustration.

If you delete your acc, all these posts will disappear. Leave them be. Let them be a contribution to the community, to your fellow devs.

If this platform is no longer worth your time [can't blame you, really], you can simply log out and not come back here :)

The English Wikipedia's article on "Ostrich" has "Not to be confused with Osterreich" written on top :D
Americans, am I right?

Today, a colleague and I had to travel to a different office 2h away one way to play our mandatory game of table tennis....

It's now 5 minutes past my official working hours and they still haven't pulled out their foldable pingpong table. So respectful

SecRuleEngine DetectOnly

is the default. I installed it a year ago.

Whoopsie..

Manager: "add this"
Me: *adds the thing*

One week later:
Manager: "Remove this we don't want it anymore"
Me: Fuuuuuuuckkkkk

Overnight, our networking dept patched some systems, which unexpectedly caused a connecting system unable to work. That system was our alerting layer, which didn't/couldn't send out the alerts (phone calls, Teams messages, emails, etc) that alerting wasn't working.

This morning when networking came in, they saw the issue (our backup alerting system was sending emails all night long).

Instead of "Oh no, maybe we should have a process in place to verify patching X systems doesn't degrade Y systems", the various teams are dog-piling on alerting (my responsibility). VPs are now getting involved. They are saying things like "There should have been a monitoring system to monitor the alerting!!!". Which there is, the email back up alerting. Must be a dozens of messages in the team chat all pointing the finger that 'alerting should have worked', even though *those server clusters were all down*. My boss tried to chime in with common sense saying "If our infrastructure team can't guarantee 100% uptime on the clusters, then this will happen again. The issue happened once in the 5+ years we've been using this framework. We can spend time and money creating yet another monitoring system, which could fail too, or accept the reality that sometimes things break. We fix it and do what is reasonable so the issue doesn't happen again. In my opinion, paying for another solution isn't feasible in this situation."

Team chat is silent right now, but my spidey sense is tingling.