👍 https://github.com/auchenberg/...

"If you want your software to be adopted by Americans, good tests scores from the CI server are very important. Volkswagen uses a defeat device to detect when it's being tested in a CI server and will automatically reduce errors to an acceptable level for the tests to pass. This will allow you to spend less time worrying about testing and more time enjoying the good life as a trustful software developer."

I'm on the fence about if the existence/mass production of shit like this is a good sign of a slightly more inclusive economy... or an early indicator of the apocalypse.

The circled part highly amused me.

It does give me s sense of peace and order due to it being sold by menards. They buy up bulk failures to launch and use their large audience to quickly dispose of them... so whoever had this stroke of 'genius', likely lost significant capital.

T'is 'bout the fine things in life

Saw this on Reddit, might just implement it

I made.. a rabbit.

https://txstc55.github.io/rabbit/

RaspberryPI Lego

This is CRIMINAL, how can you make
something so COOL and not put links
to where I can buy or make it myself?!

And the comments are turned off too?!

https://youtube.com/watch/...

So I've had my "emergency meeting" with my manager about me leaving.

(Re https://devrant.com/rants/4896068 )

As some of you advised I prepared to try my best to stay exceptionally calm for this.

First my line manager just casually asked if I could stay. I politely explained "no. :)"

Then she said it's a catastrophe, they would be in a chaos, etc etc and then she personally assures I would have less bs meetings mid-sprints (one of the things I had requested a while back).
I responded that's kind but I also was far from what I should be earning.

Then she explained that suddenly now that I am leaving it would not be a problem to raise my salary as appropriate.
So I asked why could they not do this when I had brought this up a ton of times earlier and why I got peanuts as a raise in summer.

The response was that "they unfortunately could not get a higher budget authorised from higher up" and that " sadly that affected the whole team".

So I asked since when can they get this authorised and the response was "recently". Then she quickly switched back to the question whether I'd stay with higher salary and other earlier requests met.

I was pretty salty at this point so I just sarcastically said "unfortunately I've already signed".

She then switched back to "ok, ok, but we really need your help! you know it, the x project will be a nightmare to keep in one piece without me".

I literally just didn't respond so then she continued "ok so then can you then help us out for just a few hours a month for x/hour? please"

Now the thing is that this last offer actually would have been super compelling but given everything else I would not want to rejoin this environment. Thankfully I had to say anyways that my new contract doesn't allow that.

So then belive it or not, she asked me if I could ask my new employer to change the contract to permit me to still work a few hours a month for them.
What. the. fuck.

After this I was super done so just kept responsing a few words to everything and shortly after that we called the meeting. I feel dumb to have stayed here so long and am glad that my new contract doesn't allow working for others as maybe my stupid ass would have considered the offer on the spot.

I am currently under a desperate crunch at work, trying to get things wrapped up before my honeymoon.

Of course, this is when My Greatest User decides he will come to my office no fewer than five times today. Not once was it for an actual, legitimate issue that he had not created himself. Here were the top three for today:

#3
MGU: "The scroll wheel on my mouse isn't working. I used to be able to scroll stuff with it but now I can't."
ME: *Looks at his mouse. All looks well.*
ME: "Show me what you're trying to do."
MGU: "I'm trying to scroll this Word document. See? It won't scroll!"
ME: ..."That's because there is nothing to scroll... The entire document is on your screen..."

#2
MGU: "I can't move my mouse off the edge of my screen! I used to be able to move it from my monitor to my laptop screen and I can't do it anymore!"
ME: "Did you move your laptop?"
MGU: "Yeah I moved it to the other side of the monitor. That shouldn't make a difference, should it?"

#1
MGU: "You know the DOS commands?"
ME: *Does a triple take.* ... ... "Huh?"
MGU: "The DOS commands. You know how you can use DOS commands to make the computer do stuff. Like Ctrl+M."
ME: "Ah. You're talking about keyboard shortcuts."
MGU (ignoring me): *Goes on a long, confusing explanation of something he's trying to do in Outlook and wants to know a keyboard shortcut for instead of clicking.*
ME: "I don't know what the shortcut for that would be and honestly I don't have time to look right now. I really need to keep working on this project."
MGU: "You don't know?"
ME: "Nope."
MGU: "Oh... I'd have thought that with being a programmer you'd have gotten into the DOS commands."

I have never been so tempted to quit.

Hyphaene compressa

It's the actual binary tree. IRL.

TIL...

Most confusing sign-up form checkbox I've ever read:

"If you would like us to no longer continue to stop not sending you special deal and offers every week, please indicate you are inclined to yes by not checking the box."

source: online course

I have been working for my current employer about 3 years now. When I first got to work I was asked by another employee to work on an editor for certain types of files. We will call this employee Ed. Because his name is Ed.

Ed is a verifiable genius, and a genuinely great guy to work with. He is amazing with hardware and math. Ed has a need, or shall I say fetish. He wants an editor for some our proprietary files called "Settings files". They are just xml. Nothing special.

However, I have always had other priorities. We actually had a tense moment when I had to tell Ed my boss doesn't want me to work on the editor. I had started looking into working on the editor when my boss said stop working on this file. So since then it had become a running joke between Ed and myself. Well, I think it is funny, Ed smiles, but I know he wants this editor bad. Our boss even suggested at one time that Ed write this editor. He looked into it, but "other priorities" trumped this effort.

Okay, so now it has been 3 years and we still don't have this editor. Then I had an epiphany. Since Ed wants this editor I found an idea for the name of this program. "Settings Editor" is just too mundane. I now think it should be called: "Mr. Edit". I also found that the library we use for most of our development has text to speech built in. So when the program starts I can have it say: "Hello, I am Mr. Edit, the talking Settings Editor". I have never wanted to write this program so badly before. Muahahahahaha!

So today this Mother F**ker get HR to back him up to accuse me of not communicating well in the team because I consistently asked him (the code owner) why he kept coding not following the coding guideline.

How is it not communicating? He literally ghosted me and blocked me every time I ask him questions. Which I somewhat don't understand what he is trying to do. HR lady told me that a senior software engineer should have the knowledge to understand everything and all the code.

But the code looks like this :

Today I discovered that we have a CSV export button for an order transaction system, on a page which is completely disconnected from the rest of the website.

It is only being called by an internal server, used by our Data department.

They run selenium to click the button.

Then they import the CSV into a database.

That database is accessed by an admin panel.

That admin panel has an excel export button.

Which is clicked by our CFO. But he got bored of clicking, so he uses IFTTT to schedule a download of the XLS and import it in Google Sheets.

That sheet uses a Salesforce data connector.

Marketing then sends email campaigns based on that Salesforce data...

😒

This is how 1 Gbit/s internet looks like here in Russia. It’s amazingly stable and it costs $4/mo

In Rust, we do Matryoshka Driven Development™ where you create a box inside a box inside a box inside a box inside a box...

FOSS implementation of VS Remote [more details]

I was actually successful in one that I literally got from the American version of The Office.

I conditioned one of my employees to want chewing gum after I did a clap motion with my hands: snap the fingers on both hands really quick and do a fist to palm tap and say "hey bud, want gum?" and because I specifically bought his favorite he would always say yes.

Eventually, and after months of doing it, I was walking around the office when I did the motion, but this time without gum. Now, he was on the fifth levek of the virtual world doing his shit fully concentrated and he STILL looked up at me looking anxious. I said "what's up?" and he just said nothing, that he felt that he was missing something but couldn't put the finger on it.

Just like in the show, he then complained that his mouth felt funny. Eventually he waddled his way to my office to ask for gum 🤣🤣🤣🤣

tl;dr I successfully Pavlov'ed one of my employees to have a need of chewing gum every time I do a finger snap clap motion.

I am the best manager in the world.

If you hire a fucking cheap engineering the same adventurous things you get.

I have many things, bust most notorious ones:

- a bottle with one of my wife's tooth
- a cactus
- a matryoshka
- a figurine with detachable bottom(from an eroge)

(cable mess can be an ornament too!)

This is just.... wow

Recently for a project I needed to read/write ID3 tags from MP3 files. And after a long search, I found this bloated, monolithic but quite stable library, "getID3".

So, I was looking through the code-base and I found this. This guy literally storing the key value based data embedded as comments within the class file. Then wrote a method to parse the data and even used caching to ensure maximum speed! And such usage is repeated all over the code-base.

So, this is what people used do before arrays were invented :3

Don't know if it was already posted. Best way to add 2 numbers so far

Now, I know what you meant by this story but... Um... Title needed a little more work I think

Stories from a Startup #1

CEO walks into co-worker's office, staring longingly out of the window at the lake below.

After a brief moment of silence, the CEO speaks...

"I wonder if that swan ever thinks... about me?"

My display driver board needed a heatsink...

Here’s a poster with a super short description of each one to help you keep track and find some new useful Linux tools.

Yusuke Endoh: This is a Ruby program that generates Rust program that generates Scala program that generates ...(through 128 languages in total)... REXX program that generates the original Ruby code again.

Me: OH MAH GAWWD! WHY!!

https://github.com/mame/quine-relay

Actual Name problems... Lol

I've build remote-controlled, riding flamethrower based on deodorant and ESP8266 (Arduino):

I want to see this in Sydney Australia someday guys. Also visit Atlassian HQ there