Arghhh, rant time :|

So yesterday I completed a database migration of 167,000 products from an old ecommerce system to a new one. Everything was brought over, orders, customer addresses, everything, really chuffed :)

The only thing the client picked up on was the lack of his spammy "meta keywords" data that I intentionally did not import. I mean the tag isn't used and a list of 40 comma separated random words you'd like to rank for isn;t going to help the sites SEO on bit.

Anyway, the client is now moaning a lot and insisting I add them in. Even after I explained that the meta keywords is gone for good reasons he insists on keeping the data.

Soooo, pointless :|

(note the tags for the sake of satire :) )

Saw a company's database storing gender in a boolean. I got so mad...at the very least, store gender in a float, 0 to 1. How dare they classify my gender as a boolean, forcing me into the binary societal patriarchal bullcrap?

Introducing ArnoldC, a stack programming language based on Arnold Schwarzenegger phrases:

Working with SSD is like working with an old man. It knows a lot, and tell you things right off the shelve, but it can die at any time.

I have been strongly considering writing a small fb app today named something along the lines of "Hack your fb friends - for realz". Then add basic oauth (You have to login to pick the friend to hack duh), retrieve their friends list and then publicly post to their own timeline and the friends they chose humorously stating they attempted to hack the persons account "for realz". You know just enough to alert people that the "hacker" is a idiot with bad intentions but with just humour enough to fall under "satire" so fb doesn't remove it.

If your bored please feel free steal and implement my idea, it's hereby open sourced and I will even fund this shit on kickstarter 😂

Am I a professional developer now ?

STACKOVERFLOW CHANGED THEIR DESIGN EVERYONE GET YOUR PITCHFORKS OUT

Manager: Dev, you will submit to my leadership and surrender all common sense to agree with what I say or face consequences.

Dev: Manager, Fuck you!

I hope its supposed to be satire

(Disclaimer: This rant is satire and only here to feed an algorithm by @PrivateGER)

This FUCKING fuck company where I had my fucking shit internship - just fucking asked me to freaking work for another project and fucking baiting me with a shitty damn payment for my little shit project I had (and still fucking work on today) while I had this damn internship. This idiot wants me to fucking waste my free time besides FUCKING SCHOOL (doing my absolute nonsense uselessfuck Abitur) and my lovely PASSIONATE GAME PROJECT with shit damn HTML-ing and CSS-ing and good damn JS-ing - for a SHITHEAD-200€ JOB. This bastard wants me to register my ass as a "Kleingewerbe" (dunno english therm but it's a small similar for to being freelancer) probably to enslave me or USE me as a cheapass worker. I'll call this dude today and politely tell him to FUCK OFF!!

(Nothing against the company, they're freaking cool! The dude too)

Found this funny at first... But that's the reality now.

sufficiently advanced XML is indistinguishable from satire

fuck off with the “do x in y lines of python code” it’s getting so goddamn annoying. yes python is concise. yes libraries do everything. you don’t need to show off someone else’s work with clickbait.

everything is like

“make a web server in 2 lines of python code”

import http.server
server = http.server.serve()

“mine bitcoin in 2 lines of python code”
import bitcoinminer
bitcoinminer.mine()

“do crazy math with 4 lines of python code”
import complex
import numpy
num1 = 1
num2 = 1
num3 = complex.addVectorMagnitudes(num1, num2)

A global pandemic - it's the time of the year when you can legally enter Bank premises wearing a mask w/o drawing any attention.

It's the time of the year when every crime is carried out by "criminals wearing a mask"

ProTip :: Avoid code conflicts by commenting out Git header references. Never worry about "resolutions" again

Hello world? Why is everyone being so friendly to the stupid planet? It won't even go out of the way to say something back! Go talk to a real person, damn nerds.

BREAKING NEWS!!!!
The devRant user with the most +1s, @tahnik hnik, does hate PHP!!!

*just satire people, nothing to hate on here*