Me: Could you give me the path to your Desktop folder, please?
Linux Distros: ... *shrug*, nope?!

I had a manager who was a complete incompetent idiot (other than a fucking backstabber). He left the company ~3 weeks ago, yet I believe it would take 5 years to get rid of his legacy.

Today I discovered that one of his "genius ideas" led to the loss of months of data. This is already bad, but it's even more upsetting given that the records that have been lost are exactly the ones I needed to prove the validity of my project.

That fucking man keeps fucking with me even when he's not here, YOU DAMN ASSHOLE!!

How to make your employee suffer, drive them insane and having suicide tendency 101.

Delay the paycheck for 18 days but still asking about task progress like a normal day. Like nothing happened.

I can't pay water and electricity bills that due in 3 days, can't buy medicine,
can't buy gas for the bike,
next week i'm not gonna be able to buy food

The good thing is, i still got the internet, i can look for new jobs and play some games to forget how shit my life right now while the electricity lasts.

Disclaimer
I have no suicide tendency, just to make it more hiperbolic 🤣

funny lol

I've just seen the documentation of an api I have to communicate with, and facepalmed when I have seen that some actions return 404 on success. And more bizarre things... Just wanted to make it worse for me, didn't you?
Once at it. Why don't you glue spikes onto my keys?
Ffs

May be their calculator bug was fixed in it.

Finally got my stickers in the mail 🔥

*boots computer*
*login screen appears*
*enters password*
*windows says "Welcome"*
*You have entered wrong password*

Are you fucking serious? Can't you even handle simple login flow? Why the fuck you display welcome screen before validating my fucking password? What the FUCK

Little Hack
It annoys me whenever I encounter a website like quora which hides the real content with a overlay and a pop up to sign in. Little do they know I just delete the overlay element from the Dom 😁😁.
Who else does this?

Website: "your ad blocker's on, consider adding us to your white list..."
Me: *inspect element*
Me: *Delete modal*
*Insert montage of me hacking into the mainframe for dramatic purposes*

I'm in. 😎

Had to create this table tent because mfs just couldn't take a hint. I also have one for when I'm concentrating/deep in code zone.

So someone invaded my workstation and did this on my Slack Status -.-"

I hate buying new laptops. HATE IT. The manufacturers are always trying to do something that makes it more complicated to buy a laptop confidently.

Why not name all of the laptops with numbers? Make them really hard to differentiate. Then offer the same model number across multiple years so it is difficult to determine which year the laptop is from.

Oh. And let’s make sure every laptop has a major flaw in the form factor.

Let’a add a numpad that squishes the keyboard to the left in a weird way. Lets do something to the trackpad to make it awkward to use. Maybe the keyboard should have a weird configuration. Maybe we can put 4 spare characters of various colours on the symbol key caps. How about a battery only lasts a few hours. May we add specialized hardware so you are stuck with windows. Maybe we can make it super thick and heavy. Lets have a screen with terrible viewing angles. Since this laptop has no major flaws we should overprice it. No repairs or upgrades on this one because we filled the computer with glue. Lets double the amount of useless media keys.

It is like manufacturers are trying to design laptops like RPG game character classes. The fighter has no magic or stealth. The magician is weak and gets fatigued. The rogue is very stealthy but has poor defence and attack. The cleric can use magic but only to heal so it is useless in battle. The ranger is good at distance but has poor defence and no magic.

The only notebooks sold that are trying to make balanced character classes are MacBooks. Those cost a premium and aren’t reparable.

First day at work, wish me good luck !

The new figma plugins are actually insane lol, some examples:

- font scale, always struggled with having to apply the formula myself or finding the right one so it scales nicely

- image tracer, that plugin replaces adobe illustrator for me, since I only used it to convert pixels to vector images

- removebg, 99% of what I pulled photoshop up for

still have to test them some more, but so far it literally replaces all that adobe crap for me.

https://figma.com/c/plugin/...

https://figma.com/c/plugin/...

https://figma.com/c/plugin/...

Senior development manager in my org posted a rant in slack about how all our issues with app development are from

“Constantly moving goalposts from version to version of Xcode”

It took me a few minutes to calm myself down and not reply. So I’ll vent here to myself as a form of therapy instead.

Reality Check:
- You frequently discuss the fact that you don’t like following any of apples standards or app development guidelines. Bit rich to say the goalposts are moving when you have your back to them.

- We have a custom everything (navigation stack handler, table view like control etc). There’s nothing in these that can’t be done with the native ones. All that wasted dev time is on you guys.

- Last week a guy held a session about all the memory leaks he found in these custom libraries/controls. Again, your teams don’t know the basic fundamentals of the language or programming in general really. Not sure how that’s apples fault.

- Your “great emphasis on unit testing” has gotten us 21% coverage on iOS and an Android team recently said to us “yeah looks like the tests won’t compile. Well we haven’t touched them in like a year. Just ignore them”. Stability of the app is definitely on you and the team.

- Having half the app in react-native and half in native (split between objective-c and swift) is making nobodies life easier.

- The company forces us to use a custom built CI/CD solution that regularly runs out of memory, reports false negatives and has no specific mobile features built in. Did apple force this on us too?

- Shut the fuck up

Fucking hell. Today we reviewed candidates for a web dev position. I already fucking know that here we ain't gonna get a top motherfucker, i already know that the person selected will have to be rigorously trained AND THAT IS FUCKING FINE WITH ME.

The thing is, fucking head of the departmen was hellbent on just grabbing people with the highest education possible setting aside lack of experience. I would not have minded if it weren't because we have a secretary that applied...that got her degree in our very own institution and that has worked with our CMS admin creating web stuff. She is smart and has the drive man, and i don't even like her, but i could see her being in the position, being trained and doing good.

Hod said no, because of her lack of education and experience.....BRUH she got her associate's at OUR SCHOOL wtf do we have students go through it if we ain't gonna hire them if they intend on applying to work with us like wtf might as well advertise that: the degree provided by this institution is not good enough to work with us :D that would be 3000 for those two classes thank u.

Holy fuck i was beyond upset man, if i am to train these fuckers might as well be someone that i know will give it her all and studied with us. Dude quoted favoritism and i said that i was just going by the data that i have on her holy fuck.

A friend sent me this saying that this has windows on it, I put it in my computer to show him that it doesn't work
Now my PC doesn't power on
I mean WTF
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW

Well, ... Ok ...

Our client wants us to deploy all changes to the test server & to the production server at the same time (-___-)
So all bugs which have been founded after that should be hotfixed ASAP :/

I did a simple bar graph to show the status of a db migration. Each bar is a computer with a db file. As I was bored waiting, I added a King Kong hanging from the longest bar.

End of week.

Hasn't got much to do.

Just browsing through Youtube and waiting for my today's shift to end.

Last Minute Late Hour change 'request' from client.

XD

Boss: here you go 3 tasks for your sprint

Days later with local server and db still not connecting on docker.

Boss: ya can we add a task on jira and get that fixed as soon as possible and see why its not working(feature doesnt work)

Me: you got it boss.

Me(in head): How am i ever going to finish my sprint for next Friday...

*1 week into dream job*

Me: I need to communicate this variable to a script running in another thread, how do you normally handle that?

My Lead: oh, just add it as a global variable

Me: oh no...

Does anyone else get irrationally annoyed when a team member says "Hi" via slack/messenger etc. and then nothing else until you say "Hi" back, and only then describes what they want?

Dahhhhhh. Stop wasting my time. Just ask what you want.

It be like that

😞

Employer: Need a freelancer to die for me

Freelancer: I'm a professional dier