Savage designers....

I am so disappointed from StackOverflow... No DevRant OPTION!!!

There's a drunk ballsack-sucking arsehole shouting drunkenly right now (it's past midnight rn) and if he doesn't shut up I am going to wrap his head in a petrol rag and burn it

For those of you who are having interviews ... remember this

TLDR; funny revenge prank from my manager

So yesterday (April 2) I decided to prank my manager about me resigning (I've been working with them for 4 years) I wrote a legit looking resignation letter. (No signature) and at the back page it has a small font "April fools".

I asked my junior to help putting it on my managers desk since I was working from home. When my manager saw it he immediately had a meeting with my technical lead. he didnt notice the april fools at the back so I sent him a short email to look at the back and he laughed.

Come today, I recieved an email from our it team with the subject "POST RESIGNATION PROCEDURES FOR JUNNERS". It has some legit looking contents as well as a hyperlInk for a resignation checklist.

It felt like im having a mini heart attack since I thought it was legit. When I opened the hyperlink I was shocked.

I love my job 😂

npm install -g create-react-app
create-react-app hello-world
du -sh ./hello-world/node_modules

253 MB

ಠ_ಠ

Ctrl+Q instead of Ctrl+W in Firefox. Yup happens every time.

I just bought some software that I have had a cracked version of for a few years. That feels so good

So I've been reading a lot about this #deletefacebook trend across devrant lately. And frankly I'm a little concerned.

As per my understanding, everyone wants to delete Facebook because they're harvesting data. Learning more about us.

While I would agree that I want my privacy. I am a little surprised at how fast this trend is picking up. People are turning a blind eye on everything else they do online just to assume they have privacy.

Let's put this Into perspective, shall we?

You are afraid of letting Facebook harvest your data yet you watch videos on YouTube which is owned by Google. You may even proceed to removing your Google account and use a stripped down version of Chromium to protect yourself from these companies yet you're using a Windows, Mac, iPhone, or Android all of which may be harvesting your data behind the scenes. Some may argue that they have stripped down their android phones but don't take into consideration that you are still using apps on your phone that may be collecting your data.

Let's say that you manage to get out of every sort of technology, you should remember that companies like Facebook also check data about you through your friends.

You use platforms like DuckduckGo assuming that they might not be collecting data about you in some way. I don't think there is anyway for you to prove that these privacy companies don't collect our data.

I don't know why everyone seems to be interested in this trend. I absolutely don't see a point in it. If anything, things I see are super relevant to me.

Windows update is karma

Helpful tip to all you freelancers or those with the authority:

Never let a client dictate anything in how you do your job, no matter how simple.

Even if they ask you to make yourself available at a specific time, don't. Instead, tell them times you have available so they have to work with you.

If you give a client an inch, they will always take a mile.

Heard a new euphemism today for interruptions: “spontaneous collaboration”
Laugh or cry...

I don't have a word 😥😥

I cannot spell for shit, so my coworker keeps commenting on my pull requests with spelling fixes...

Decided to buy this for him today...

Ill join in - Our CEO and CTO insist that we can make an AI that can recognize emotions and feelings through Python, R, and some MySQL... mind you, with a team of unpaid interns....

Im sorry, but Id love some of whatever the fuck they are smoking.

Frontend is as hard as backend

An appreciation post for every single frontend developer out here who can bear customer, project managers and designers nagging

You guys deserve a gold medal

So I accidentally published my AWS keys to GitHub, stupid me. I realize this the next day.

$ git reset
$ git push
Reset keys in AWS

I was too late. Bot already stole the keys and started up 53 EC2 instances. Racked up $4000+ of compute time (probably Bitcoin mining, I'd assume)

4 weeks later, I finally have this shit disputed and settled.

Don't test with hardcoded keys. You WILL forget about them. Env vars always. That is all.

Got call from extremely angry customer, our product is shit and doesn't work. At all. Important customer so I went to visit.

He had the perfect setup, our product to the left, our competitor's to the right.

He connected the Ethernet cable to their product, it worked. He plugged it out and connected to ours... Nothing. Shit.

I started to debug on the premises, took logs, everything. It seemed like our product didn't receive any data at all. What the fuck? Tried everything, debugged low level, still nothing. Sweating as hell.

After two hours I got a strange feeling. So I swapped place, our product to the right, competitor's to the left. Now OUR product worked, competitor's zilch.

THE FUCKING ETHERNET CABLE HAD A GLITCH. IF YOU BENT IT TO THE RIGHT IT WORKED, IF YOU BENT IT TO THE LEFT IT WAS BROKEN.

I had never seen a customer be this embarrassed in my life. He apologized to me, my boss, his boss, the Queen, everyone.

We got the contract.

I've always been anxious about putting my stuff on GitHub.

However, I did upload a project of mine there.

Thoughs few minutes after uploading it:

"Omg, is anyone judging how bad my code is?"
"I'm sure they will criticize it."
"O shit, I forgot a // TODO in there."
"O shit did I upload my credentials by mistake?"
"Does this commit message sound right?"
"Should I commit more often?"
"Do I commit too often?"

That moment when

Blogger, Introduced his girlfriend to his family

Parents: Who is she ?

Guy : 8 things you should know about this lucky girl!!😂😂😂

Tinder experience so far

Girl: "hey, what do you do?"

Me: "im a programmer"

Girl:

Me: "and you?"

Girl:

Me: "... hello?"

*Suddenly unmatch*

Well this would suck.

Introduce source version control tools from the very beginning.

About 95% of what I know of CS is self taught.

This shouldn't be happening, or at least not this much.

No. More. Writing. Code. On. A. Fucking. Piece. Of. Paper.

 (╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

I would (at apprenticeship level) start to teach more software architecture and security related stuff.

Yes knowing how to iterate over an array is important but it’s getting lame...

And last but not least it’s fucking 2018 why am I writing a Java 6 swing GUI on paper as a test

Actually make it about CS.

Today my classmate came up to me and said he was a hacker.

I told him to prove it, and guess what? HE ACTUALLY HACKED GOOGLE!

It was amazing! He impressed so many kids in the class with his skills of pressing F12! How impressive is that?

He even wore a black hoodie and can spell his name in binary code. Not to mention, he changed google doc's page color to black and the font to green as he typed his essay.

I need to be careful... This 1337 h4x0r is really scary.

83w4r3

Me: *puts small piece of tape over webcam*

NSA: Okay guys, shut it all down. No way we can record from the microphone, log keys, access the file system, USB devices, network data or watch the screen. He did the tape.