Details
-
AboutStudying Computer Science in Munich
-
SkillsJava, python, bash
Joined devRant on 4/18/2018
Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
My college senior project has become a monster. I look at it and all the work put into between my friend and I and all I can think of is
"This shits fucked I'm glad it's not for sale"
Seriously it works for the most part, but we're up to ~2500 lines of code and about as many headaches and it's still missing so much functionality and has so many security flaws. It's a great proof of concept, but good lord I couldn't imagine building it into a feasible application. It'd take months of work full time!6 -
Tips for being a real devRanter:
- Fucking swear a lot
- Use Arch Linux
- Dark theme everything
- Fuck Windows25 -
this.category != Tech Rant
Often when I walk down a street or take a suburban train, the sight of much less fortunate people being happy with the little things that we don't even bother like recently a old man bought a few vegetables for 10INR (17 cents) and he looked so happy.
At the other end I see people who have everything given to them and yet lack the slightest of satisfaction.
Homosapiens are sure a weird creature.2 -
Lead-Dev: I got a little job for you; put this list of links in the footer of our website.
Me: But... this list of links is a bunch of websites of another company...
why would that go in OUR footer?
LD: Well, Google gives a higher SEO score when two websites have links to one another.
Me: Oh, okay.
LD: Just make the list as subtle as possible. Visitors aren't really supposed to click on them.
Me under my breath: (How are these people allowed to call themselves professionals?)2 -
Does anyone else think the top menu bar on applications is way too big on ubuntu 18.04? Also, am I the only one who has a lot of ransom freezes in the os? I know its a beta version, but c'mon!17
-
Client: Hey, you're the IT guy right?
Me: Hey, how can I help?
Client: Yeah for some reason I've lost power to my computer
Me: *Checks power, all computers are down due to a power cut*
Me: You'll have to contact your power supplier as you've lost power to all computers and lights.
Client: What, but the computers are not working right? - that's you're job not mine
Me: That's not how it works.
Client: Fix this or I'll bill you for the loss of money we've encountered during this and report this to your boss.
Me: How about I bill you for my time and advice and inform by boss that you tried to blame me for a power cut.
Client: You can try.
Me: *walks off and puts time in the ticket, requests purchasing to send an invoice*
2 Days later:
The client does not pay the invoice.
Me: (phone call) Hi, an invoice has been sent to you and we haven't received payment yet.
Client: were not paying that, you broke our power and made our computers break
Me: null22 -
A call I had today, girl registered a domain and put it in her hosting package:
Girl: so where can I view my email accounts?
Me: *explains*
G: Oh, I wanted an email address with info or my first name as part before the @ but I only see an account with the name of my hosting account username?
Me: that's right, that's a default one you get :)
G: oh 😞 I....I.... I've always have wanted a domain name with my own email addresses linked to it and I thought I could do that this way 😩
(I could hear the disappointment and that she seemed very sad suddenly)
Me: do you see that "create new email account" button up there?
G: Yes..... Wait.... Can I make like multiple email addresses myself?!
Me: as many as you can manage inside your hosting account!
G: 😵😍 OH MY GOD
Me: Haha, enjoy creating some!
G: THANK YOU I LOVE YOU BYE
*Click*
It's those moments which can make your fucking day!15 -
The new Dutch mass surveillance law goes into action on the first of May. I'll of course have a good security setup ready but that does not stop the bulk data collection.
I just setup a website which (still in English at the moment) requests a random search result from bing, google or DuckDuckGo every 3 seconds.
Will work on making it more 'real' :)
If stopping the surveillance isn't an option, let's add more data to filter out for them!38 -
!rant
It's Friday and my boss let us off work early...
So imma just chill and try to catch the sun5 -
No, dear M$, I can't tell you if sth is helpful after spening 5s on page, especially if 4s were spent loading the content!!!2
-
Goals for 2018
Finish all my udemy courses I purchased back in 2016 and never watched
Learn to write tests for all my work
Figure out the shitty api in Drupal 8
Redesign my apps so they look pretty and make me more money.
Learn to Automate my app feeds
Redesign my company website to look more professional
Sell my townhouse
Start running again
Loose weight
Be a better husband and father.
Learn new tech and make something fucking awesome!
Go to tech Meetups
Hang around smart people and learn to be a better coder.
Battle my demons and autism.2 -
Me: I have been working for you for almost 12 years now, and I feel that my current pay is not comparable to the work I currently produce. Therefore, in order to secure my future as your employee, I must request an immediate raise in pay to a level that is acceptable.
Boss: I can't afford it. If you want more money, you need to bring in more clients, plain and simple.
Me: I'm serious. If I don't get a raise, I will qui---
Girlfriend: Babe, stop talking to yourself and come to bed...
Me: Okay... [looks in mirror] This isn't finished...12 -
Was helping somebody with a little C++ issue (disclaimer: I know jackshit about C++).
After a while off reading his code and opening a file called "pi.cpp", I noticed something odd...
This guy literally thought is was a good idea to put 81663 fucking decimals of pi in a #define statement :^)
On the screenshot, that weird "noise" on the right is actually a scrollbar of the code itself...33 -
*code doesn't work*
-Run three times, just to be sure
-Its NOT the code, must be the project. Full rebuild.
-Run a few more times after rebuild didn't fix it.
-Google the issue.
-Stackoverflow must be wrong. The code is JUST like their solution.
-Run a few more times, but with your lucky underpants
-Reboot. Must be an operating system thing.
-Tea break. Give the issue time and it will fix itself.
-Run a few more times. Still unfixed
-Contact customer support.
-Walmart said they can't help.
-Consider writing your own language without this OBVIOUS flaw
-Kickstarter for c++++
-Raise $50,000
-Start a family
-Contact customer support again
-Run a few more times
-Now banned from Walmart
-Oh shit, missing a semicolon24 -
As a developer, sometimes you hammer away on some useless solo side project for a few weeks. Maybe a small game, a web interface for your home-built storage server, or an app to turn your living room lights on an off.
I often see these posts and graphs here about motivation, about a desire to conceive perfection. You want to create a self-hosted Spotify clone "but better", or you set out to make the best todo app for iOS ever written.
These rants and memes often highlight how you start with this incredible drive, how your code is perfectly clean when you begin. Then it all oscillates between states of panic and surprise, sweat, tears and euphoria, an end in a disillusioned stare at the tangled mess you created, to gather dust forever in some private repository.
Writing a physics engine from scratch was harder than you expected. You needed a lot of ugly code to get your admin panel working in Safari. Some other shiny idea came along, and you decided to bite, even though you feel a burning guilt about the ever growing pile of unfinished failures.
All I want to say is:
No time was lost.
This is how senior developers are born. You strengthen your brain, the calluses on your mind provide you with perseverance to solve problems. Even if (no, *especially* if) you gave up on your project.
Eventually, giving up is good, it's a sign of wisdom an flexibility to focus on the broader domain again.
One of the things I love about failures is how varied they tend to be, how they force you to start seeing overarching patterns.
You don't notice the things you take back from your failures, they slip back sticking to you, undetected.
You get intuitions for strengths and weaknesses in patterns. Whenever you're matching two sparse ordered indexed lists, there's this corner of your brain lighting up on how to do it efficiently. You realize it's not the ORMs which suck, it's the fundamental object-relational impedance mismatch existing in all languages which causes problems, and you feel your fingers tingling whenever you encounter its effects in the future, ready to dive in ever so slightly deeper.
You notice you can suddenly solve completely abstract data problems using the pathfinding logic from your failed game. You realize you can use vector calculations from your physics engine to compare similarities in psychological behavior. You never understood trigonometry in high school, but while building a a deficient robotic Arduino abomination it suddenly started making sense.
You're building intuitions, continuously. These intuitions are grooves which become deeper each time you encounter fundamental patterns. The more variation in environments and topics you expose yourself to, the more permanent these associations become.
Failure is inconsequential, failure even deserves respect, failure builds intuition about patterns. Every single epiphany about similarity in patterns is an incredible victory.
Please, for the love of code...
Start and fail as many projects as you can.30 -
Well that was a fun call I just had.
Owner of the company I freelance for: Hey I forgot to tell you something.
Me: What?
Owner: I bought you a plane ticket to fly to Puerto Rico. You're heading out in a month.
Me: What?! Why????
Owner: To set up cryptocurency mining rigs.
Me: Just because I know a bit about mining doesn't make me an expert.
Owner: We have $80k in our pocket in investments from outside parties, with another $20-30k on the way. You get 20% of the coins mined for as long as you manage it.
Me: So we're gonna set up several rigs, utilizing a b250 motherboard, g4400 CPU, 8GB of RAM and 10 GPUs each. We'll have AMD rigs for monero and Nvidia rigs for Ethereum and others. We'll use awesome miner for profitability switching on the fly. Each machine is probably going to be $5k each, possibly $4k with bulk discounts. We'll need at least 1500W per rig for power, 2000W to be safe, so we need to make sure we have ample power delivery to the mining warehouse.
Owner: I thought you weren't an expert?
Me: I'm not, but when there's money involved my motivation to Google goes into overdrive.28 -
What is the most ridiculous over-the-top "startup" thing you've been the victim of as a developer?
Alternatively, what kind of weird startup luxury would you absolutely love to have at your company?
For me, at various companies I've worked at/visited:
1. Hammocks & fatboy beanbags. Current employer has a "Netflix & Chill" corner with nice couches, and a small gym. I have encountered isolation/flotation tanks at the office of one of our partners... which is cool, but over the top in my opinion.
2. A fully automated aquaponics garden in the lunchroom. Was awesome, until some fish died and started to rot.
3. One hoverboard per employee, at previous employer. I splashed hot chocolate milk in an arc over three desks. A coworker broke his ankle while watching me spill chocolate milk.
4. Daily scrum standup meetings, on socks, in a big bouncy castle. Not kidding. Fucking ridiculous... (but secretly fun). That employer also had spiral slides between all floors, a tiny half-pipe with tiny skateboards, and someone who rode a unicycle way too much. It was a fucking circus. Stuck in the office of a Fintech company.
5. Soldering bench (at my current company), with drawers full of breadboards, servos and electronics components. Completely unrelated to my work, but it was my idea. It's just great to build a simple kits together with another random coworker while brainstorming platform features & refining specs... much better than meetings with bullshit slides.
6. Unlimited energy drink. Developed a serious caffeine habit (15-20 cans a day), and almost got a stomach ulcer. Not beneficial to employee health.
7. I really do love working from home + unlimited holidays. Just being able to honestly say "fuck you guys, I'm gonna get drunk and play games today", and at other times working until 4am and sleeping in the next day, or taking a week to work in a park in Rome... It makes work truly feel like my favorite hobby. Combined with a good sprints and curious/ambitious people, you can easily track productivity anyway.19 -
The story of the $500,000,000 error.
In 1996, an unmanned Ariane 5 model rocket was launched by the European Space Agency.
Onboard was software written to analyze the horizontal velocity of the spacecraft. A conversion between a 64-bit floating point value and a 16-bit signed integer within this software ultimately caused an overflow error just forty seconds after launch, leading to a catastrophic failure of the spacecraft.
That day, $7 billion of development met it's match: a data type conversion.12 -
- Hello! Gordon's pizza?
- No sir it's Google's pizza.
- So it's a wrong number?
- No sir, Google bought it.
- OK. Take my order please ..
- Well sir, you want the usual?
- The usual? You know me?
- According to our caller ID, in the last 12 times, you ordered pizza with cheeses, sausage, thick crust
- OK! This is it
- May I suggest to you this time ricotta, arugula with dry tomato?
- No, I hate vegetables
- But your cholesterol is not good
- How do you know?
- Through the subscribers guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
- Okay, but I do not want this pizza, I already take medicine
- You have not taken the medicine regularly, 4 months ago, you only purchased a box with 30 tablets at Drugsale Network
- I bought more from another drugstore
- It's not showing on your credit card
- I paid in cash
- But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
- I have other source of cash
- This is not showing as per you last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I'm sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I'm going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
- I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago..42