Sneak: 100

"please wait 5 seconds 'till you can continue with the call" *additional charges apply

TLDR: First dinner with whole family, already 3 smartphones to "repair".

They buy cheap phones with just 8 GB of storage and then ask me to solve their issues with "insufficient space on the device" without removing pictures and videos because of course they are not aware of concepts like pc/cloud backup or using SD card as main saving location.
At least these phones are full of bloatware so I can easily disable something to gain enough storage to get rid of the notification (tricking them into believing that I solved all of their problems) while I set SD card as default and enlighten them about the wonders of Google Photo and its auto-clean function.

I'd really like to ignore them, but unfortunately that's the only kind of relationship I have with my relatives, I know that sucks but at least is something.

And I actually prefer to spend some minutes on someone else's phone than talk about politics or try to explain what exactly is my job and what I am studying 🙄

My brother told me a mail just arrived from "America". He said is from "dev something".

I think I know what that is 😍

Show some respect... 🙌

Can anyone else relate?

Simple flowchart XD

MacKenzie, marry me!

People:
Hell yeah we need to DECENTRALIZE THE INTERNET

Same people:
*host their own project at aws*

Recently made an account on Instagram.
Uploaded two pics
Deleted both of them
Now I've -2 posts

"warranty void if seal is broken"
Me: "seal isn't broken"

This is a really accurate changelog .

Random quote: "Be a rainbow in someone's cloud"
Me: "Like rainbow as a service?" 😁😋😆

Git:GitHub::Porn:Pornhub
Quite accurate??

6am. no fucking alarm clock needed, my fucking passion to code woke me up

Implementing the application exactly like the client specified, because they won't listen.

Fucked up the Ubuntu partition while upgrading to 18.04 . Lost data. Fucked up the system further by doing random stuff and seeing what happens. Had to reinstall. Redo the customisations. Install all the ides and softwares.

That was fun. 🙂

Friend: I hate my new OnePlus 6. It's really slow and hangs a lot

Me: I can't believe

Friend: Use it yourself, you'll know.

*Me using his phone
*Realising it was really slow
*Checking his installed apps

- CCleaner
-DU Booster
-Antivirus free version
-Antivirus pro
-Antivirus ultimate
-Battery Saver
-App Booster
-Super Cleaner
-RAM Master

*poured poision in his coffee
*enjoyed watching him die slowly

What do you think ?

*at my study a year or longer ago*

Classmate: hey linuxxx, could you come take a look? What is this? *points at screen towards some code*
Me: you don't see it?!
Cm: no...?!
Me: you really don't see it?!
Cm: no!!?
Me: no for real, do you *REALLY* not see it?!
Cm: NO! TELL ME ALREADY!
Me: that's a screen 😊
Cm: 😑😠

😅

Working with somebody else is great, because there is somebody else to blame, on the other hand there's somebody else to blame..

Today I decommissioned an old server, that had an uptime of 4130 days.

Your life is one big exception.

So I met the CEO of my company today. By cutting past him in line at Starbucks.

Git.

The smallest utility made its way to being the largest companies must-have, the most critical part of the whole development landscape.

Using just plain C, Git can shred huge amounts of data insanely fast. It never gets old.

Git is a developer's scalpel.

In the uni at an exam:

Professor: I can't let you pass.
Student: Can't you ask me something?
P: I can lose my job if I let you pass

I helped my friends in my C programming class set up their IDEs today.

Them: Do I need the JDK?
Me: We’re writing in C, not Cava
ಠ_ಠ

Client: Can I speak to the developer responsible for my website?
Developer: Speaking...
Client: You have a deep voice for a 5 year old.

I had to add a "I'm not a robot" checkbox to protect an email address written in a page reachable only from our intranet. Boss asked, I executed.

- Hey how are your fingers today, do they still hurt?
- They're OK, why do you ask?
- Oh, then it must have been your lack of programming skills which made me puke while looking at your code.