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Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I'll tell you a TCP joke.
OK, I'll hear a TCP joke.
Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?
Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke.
OK, I'm about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, it has two characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline.
OK, I'm ready to hear the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has two characters, does not have a setting and will end with a punchline.
I'm sorry, your connection has timed out... ...Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?11 -
A tcp packet walks in to a bar and says “I want a beer”, barman says “you want a beer?” and tcp packet says “yes, a beer” .
In high society, TCP is more welcome than UDP. At least it knows a proper handshake.
A bunch of TCP packets go into a bar, until it’s overcrowded. The next day, half as many go in.
A bunch of TCP packets walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Hang on just a second, I need to close the window.”
When I try to send SYNs to chicks, I don’t get any ACKs. Just FINs and RSTs.
IP packet with TTL=1 arrives at bar. Bartender: “Sorry, can’t let you leave…and you don’t get any beer either…”
The worst part about token ring jokes is that if someone starts telling one while you are telling yours, all joking stops.
The great thing about TCP jokes is that you always get them.
The problem with TCP jokes is that people keep retelling them slower until you get them.
I would tell some UDP jokes too but I never know if anyone gets them
The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don’t care if you get them or not.
I had a funny UDP joke to tell, but I lost it somewhere...
The sad thing about IPv6 jokes is that almost no one understands them and no one is using them yet.
I tried to come up with an IPv4 joke, but the good ones were all already exhausted.
A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer. Bartender says: “here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!
DHCP jokes only work when there is only one person telling them
The worst part of SSH jokes is that, even when they're not funny, you suck it up and just pretend they were anyway.
The problem with token ring jokes is you need to wait your turn to laugh
I’d make a joke about UDP, but I don’t know if anyone’s actually listening…11 -
Me: Hey Dave, wanna hear a TCP joke?
Dave: Uhh, sure...
Me: OK I'll tell you a TCP joke..
Dave: Please don't.
Me: Are you ready to receive my TCP joke?
Dave:...
Me: OK I'm sending my TCP joke. It'll be 4 words long and 27 bits large.
Dave:... Screw this, I'm going home now.
6 -
"Hi, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I'd like to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I will tell you a TCP joke."
"Are you ready to hear a TCP joke?"
"Yes, I am ready to hear a TCP joke."
"OK, I am about to send the TCP joke. It will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, it does not have a setting, it ends with a punchline."
"OK, I am ready to get the TCP joke that will last 10 seconds, has 2 characters, does not have a setting, and ends with a punchline."
"I'm sorry, your connection has been timed out."
"Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?"6 -
When people finish their rants with Fin I feel like I need to comment FIN-ACK to complete the TCP session.5
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“Hi, I’d like to hear a TCP joke.”
“Hello, would you like to hear a TCP joke?”
“Yes, I’d like to hear a TCP joke.”
“Ok, I’ll tell you a TCP joke.”
...3 -
curl http://devrant.io/api/rants/text |grep -vi "hack facebook"|grep -vi "tcp joke"|grep -vi "udp joke"|grep -vi "app idea"|grep -vi "2 types of people"4
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A: Do you want to hear a joke about TCP/IP?
B: Yes, I would like to hear a joke about TCP/IP.
A: Are you ready to hear the joke about TCP/IP?
B: I am ready to head the joke about TCP/IP.
A: Here is a joke about TCP/IP.
A: Did you receive the joke about TCP/IP?
B: I have received the joke about TCP/IP.1
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