"I'm going to cram you so full of asynchronous JavaScript and malware throttling that your gonna be crapping cipher text" - Simpsons S27E10

2 years into polytechnic I got my 1st big project as a subcontractor doing Symbian. No need to tell the company I presume.

Anyways, I was brought into the project just couple weeks before holiday season started. My Symbian programming experience was just the basics from school. 1st day I was crapping my pants out of anxiety. I pretty much didn't understand anything what my project manager or teammates were telling, so I just wrote EVERYTHING down on paper and recorded all the meetings to my laptop.

My job was to implement a very big end to end SDK feature. Basically from API through Symbian OS through HAL to other OS and into its subsystem. Nice job for a beginner :/

As the holidays were starting we had just drafted out the specification (I don't know how, because I didn't understand much of what was going on) and I got a clear mission from team lead. Make a working prototype of the feature during the time everybody else was on vacation.

"No problemos, I can do it" I BS'd myself and the team lead.

First 2 weeks I just read documentation, my notes and internal coding tutorials over and over again. I produced maybe couple of lines of usable code. I stayed at the office as late as I dared without seeming to obvious that I had no clue what I was doing. After the two weeks of staying late and seeing nightmares every night I had a sudden heureka moment. Code that I was reading started to make sense. Okay, still 2 weeks more until my teammates come back.

Next 2 weeks were furious coding and I got better every day. I even had time to refactor some of my earlier code so that quality was consistent.

Soooo, holidays are over and my team leader and collagues are very interested with my progress. "You did very well. Much better than expected. Prototype is working with main use case implemeted. You must have quite high competence to do this so well..."

"Well...I did have to refactor some stuff, so not 10/10"

I didn't say a word of my super late nights, anxiety and total n00biness.

Pretty much finished "like a boss". After that I was on the managers wanted list and they called me to ask if I had the time work on their projects.

Fake it, crap your pants, eat your crap and turn into diamonds and then you make it.

PS. After Symbian normal C++ and almost any other language has been a breeze to learn.

Eh ehe hehe he eh ehehe

On top of burnout, codebase issues, spec issues, burnout, the product butt that keeps on crapping, burnout, burnout, loathing for my employer... My local Apple SSL cert expired. I can’t finish this and push it anywhere for testing. I can’t even run my own specs anymore. And I don’t have permissions to make a new one. I can’t do anything at all.

Ehe he hehe

Deadline is in two days, and I’m just sitting here laughing quietly to myself. I might finally be going crazy

I found a loose bit of tangle, started to pull, and the world decided it was time to fall apart. Reality said it’s time to go. And I wasn’t even a good screwdriver dev. Byeee ~

Thanks, AfterShip.com, for working flawlessly while the system I was building was in dev/test mode and for the first few days in live mode, then completely crapping the bed the first day I needed you to work with real tracking data with the live system. You were the ONE thing that was working consistently well, and you had to go and ruin it.

I've now worked on both monolithic solutions and microapps/microservices. I gotta say I'm not sold on the new approach. There's so much overhead! You don't have to know your way around one solution -- no, now you need to know your way around 100 solutions. Debugging? Yeah, good luck with that. You don't have to provision one environment for dev, test, staging, and prod. No, now you need 100 environments per... environment. Now, you need a dedicated fulltime devops person. Now devs can check in breaking changes because their code compiles fine in that one tiny microapp. The extra costs go on and on and on. I get the theoretical benefits but holy crap you pay for it dearly. Going back to monolithic is so satisfying. You just address the bug or new feature head on without the ceremony and complexity. You know you're not crapping on other people's day (compilation-wise) because the entire solution compiles.

...and yeah, I'm getting old. So get off the lawn! ;)

I'd like to ask: What's trending at the moment instead....

Either I'm old and senile and missing something, or there is not really sth new.

Okay, JS might be crapping out new frameworks in their common "Not invented here" diarrhea....

But otherwise? What's really new?

I don't really know. I'm not only thinking about languages and stuff, but even in hardware there ain't really a big thing going on in my opinion.

Hab ich wat verpennt?

(Have I overslept?)

We had an interesting and frightening discussion regarding NGINX, as it is russian software today and that a new trend of a true, actively developed webserver is severely lacking... Apache looks semi dead and most other niche webservers, too.

That's all I've seen as a "trend" discussion in the latest time

Fucking Pixel 6.... Worst upgrade ever ...

Already the battery is crapping out.... As of last night, it maxes out at 72%....

What happened to adaptive charging that's supposed to make the battery last longer...

Should've kept my 4a 5g and returned this instead...

"I try to take my camera everywhere with me so that I’ll be ready when unicorns crapping rainbows come flying in from the heavens. " - Robert Otani

It really grinds my gears when new hires just start adding themselves to every fucking slack channel and then start crapping up the channel history with irrelevant chatter.

Business Analysts and Project Managers do not need to be in #developers sending mock-ups to a UI/UX designer for one team, or posting an xkcd strip you found on the internet because you "got it" and you think you are proving that you are one of us by posting it there. This channel isn't a fucking club, its where ALL developers at this company across all teams share tools and practices for us to maintain consistency and best practices and to improve our craft, or to give a heads-up about vulnerabilities.

There is a specific channel for your role, and your project. You don't need to be everywhere and in every conversation. And for fuck's sake, PLEASE stop @someone adding people to these channels just because you think you saw something in there posted by someone else that they should see. You can just fucking share that message directly with that person, or in another channel.

My freshly out-of-warranty laptop just started crapping out and I have an un-pushed branch on it. Of course. Hopefully repair and recovery efforts go well.

Pet peeve? People in the toilet stall talking to someone on their cell while they are downloading yesterday's meals to the repository. Really, it can wait until you've done your business.

...I was telling my friends one of the methods of de-crapping fresh installs of Windows that I use, and for some reason, I thought about this (old) meme.

So, I created, too. Might as well share it

Now my desktop wifi dongle is crapping out ...

Why is all this happening RIGHT AFTER black Friday, cyber monday....

I just had a long talk with Character.ai; and well what can I say. Holy crappy crapping crap...

Is it perfect? No.

Is it above the comprehensive speech level that I though would be ever possible in my lifetime if I got asked about it just 1 or 2 years ago? Yes

Either that, or it is fake and provides replies from actual humans