I have this one friend who thinks he is a tech guru just because he plays video games a lot and started to study cs for one year. Now he got a job as sysadmin and it is funny to hear him brag about the job in front of non-tech people because he sounds like a CSI Cyber episode, just throwing tech words at the people and I know that he talks bullshit.
But I have to admit, he knows how to sell himself. Probably that's how he got the job in the first place because it cannot be his experience.
Yesterday he called me, to help him edit something on a linux server. I told him "To edit the file type 'vi FILENAME' and then you can edit. I have to go now, I have a meeting." :]

I've been asked to do some investigation at work regarding an IT security incident. Thankfully I've watched plenty of CSI so I'm just working on building a GUI with VB to track the IP...

watching CSI:

The cop (watching hacked tv broadcast): "This isn't live, is it?

The hacker girl: "I'll create GUI interface using Visual Basic, see if I can track the IP"

effin' gold, hope that GUI helped her

Meanwhile in CSI Miami.

John Snowden

Does anyone else usually feel a bit homicidal towards someone(replace with boss or client) who doesn’t know a thing about what you do but constantly critiques your work?

Client: I don’t like how it looks, put some more design on it.

What does that even mean ????!?!

"Can you zoom in to this teeny tiny spot on this photo and sharpen it like how they do it in CSI?"
OR
"You can uncensor this, yeah?"

Yeah let me poop out the winning lottery numbers while I poop out nonexistent pixels for you.

I'm a little skeptical about this programs proper operation....

Soo, my manager asked me to create tool for CSI. Sort of ticketing tool for service improvements.

So I spent a few months working on it including design, websocket based real time statistics, exports to their belowed excel, easy to use, fast and so on.
I've presented it to mgmt, told them that deployment was easy and just need a simple linux virtual and all is automated.

They told me that they don't have a server. Company where main business is cloud services. Didn't pay me a penny for my effort even though worked on that mostly in my free time.
I didn't even want anything for the tool, just for my time.

Then a month later they've introduced similar thing based on Sharepoint with 1/10th of fuctionality, slow as hell, buggy, unintuitive.

And guess what, I can't open source my tool because it is a company property.

So, fuck it, never gonna do anything again without proper contract, even if for the same department.

I've already left that hell hole, but thought I would share my story.

Went to a thrift store last week near work and they often have old dev or technology books (I picked up a first edition K&R C book, once) and I found:

1) A book on the history of codes and ciphers throughout history.
2) Beyond good and evil by Nietzsche.
3) A modern publication of a 1673 Spanish demon summoning book (to go into a local town archive).
4) The technical information and construction manual for telegram systems from 1938.

I swear I was driving home thinking:

"Please don't crash, if CSI teams have to piece my identity together from these four personal items I dread to think what conclusions they're going to come to..."

Was watching CSI: Cyber and I spotted this, IT WAS AN APP!!!

2021 was really rough, saw friends going over the deep end with burnout, significant incidents to handle and a shitty manager to deal with.

It wasn't about blood and tears, it was about commuting 4 hours/day mid-pandemic to be present in the office and respond to an incident whilst having to deal with a bunch of heroes thinking they were part of a CSI: Cyber episode.

All of that just to be said that my raise "would be enough to keep me from looking elsewhere" as my manager said they were very happy with my performance.

This week I found out exactly how much this appreciation is worth: 2%. And I should consider myself lucky with this number as my performance wasn't good enough to grant me any raise whatsoever.

feelsreallybad.png

You're so basic. I'd use you to create a UI to track the killer's IP address.

When you discover u be Watching too much CSI u I'll believe this Bush it

I can't share it but I basically just wrote an email at work that's pretty much a rant.

Basically something like should we use Java for this new component? It needs to communicate with our existing server written in JS.

And someone was like no we should stick with JS and Node because that's what the website is written.

And so I'm like wtf... It doesn't matter as long as everyone agrees to follow the same rules... And then added a part about commenting and documenting stuff being more important so I don't need to keep doing CSI on the codebase when something blows up.

fuck.. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!
I'mma fakin EXPLODE!

It was supposed to be a week, maybe two weeks long gig MAX. Now I'm on my 3rd (or 4th) week and still got plenty on my plate. I'm freaking STRESSED. Yelling at people for no reason, just because they interrupt my train of thought, raise a hand, walk by, breathe, stay quiet or simply are.

FUCK!

Pressure from all the fronts, and no time to rest. Sleeping 3-5 hours, falling asleep with this nonsense and breaking the day with it too.

And now I'm fucking FINALLY CLOSE, I can see the light at the end of the tunne<<<<<TTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT>>>>>>>

All that was left was to finish up configuring a firewall and set up alerting. I got storage sorted out, customized a CSI provider to make it work across the cluster, raised, idk, a gazillion issues in GH in various repositories I depend on, practically debugged their issues and reported them.

Today I'm on firewall. Liason with the client is pressured by the client bcz I'm already overdue. He propagates that pressure on to me. I have work. I have family, I have this side gig. I have people nagging me to rest. I have other commitments (you know.. eating (I practically finish my meal in under 3 minutes; incl. the 2min in the µ-wave), shitting (I plan it ahead so I could google issues on my phone while there), etc.)

A fucking firewall was left... I configured it as it should be, and... the cluster stopped...clustering. inter-node comms stopped. `lsof` shows that for some reason nodes are accessing LAN IPs through their WAN NIC (go figure!!!) -- that's why they don't work!!

Sooo.. my colleagues suggest me to make it faster/quicker and more secure -- disable public IPs and use a private LB. I spent this whole day trying to implement it. I set up bastion hosts, managed to hack private SSH key into them upon setup, FINALLY managed to make ssh work and the user_data script to trigger, only to find out that...

~]# ping 1.1.1.1
ping: connect: Network is unreachable
~]#

... there's no nat.
THERE"S NO FUCKING NAT!!!

HOW CAN THERE BE NO NAT!?!?!????? MY HOME LAPTOP HAS A NAT, MY PHONE HAS A NAT, EVEN MY CAT HAS A MOTHER HUGGING NAT, AND THIS FUCKING INFRA HAS NO FUCKING NAT???????????????????????

ALready under loads of pressure, and the whole day is wasted. And now I'll be spending time to fucking UNDO everything I did today. Not try something new. But UNDO. And hour or more for just that...

I don't usually drink, but recently that bottom shelf bottle of Captain Morgan that smells and tastes like a bottle of medical spirit starts to feel very tempting.

Soo.. how's your day

My new stack is: VUE, TS, SCSS, AWS, CSI, IBS, HIV, SSR and Mongo

I've never been a big fan of the "Cloud hype".

Take today for example. What decent persistent storage options do I have for my EKS cluster?

- EBS -- does not support ReadWriteMany, meaning all the pods mounting that volume will have to be physically running on the same server. No HA, no HP. Bummer

- EFS -- expensive. On top of that, its performance is utter shit. Sure, I could buy more IOPS, but then again.. even more expensive.

S3 -- half-assed filesystem. Does not support O_APPEND, so basically any file modifications will have to be in a
`createFile(file+"_new", readAll(file) + new_data); removeFile(file); renameFile(file + "_new", file);`
way.
ON TOP of that, the s3 CSI has even more limitations, limiting my ability to cross-mount volumes across different applications (permission issues)

I'm running out of options. And this does not help my distrust in cloud infras...

Im thinking about getting a raspberry pi 3 or an odroid-c2.
(Specs at the end)

Its to host a simple php server and maybe a gitlab server, both for personal use.

Should I go with the better performance or the better community support?

Odroid specs
System-on-chip used : Amlogic S905
CPU: 1.5 GHz 64-bit quad-core ARM Cortex-A53
Memory: 2 GB LPDDR3 RAM at 912 MHz
Storage: MicroSDHC slot, eMMC module socket
Graphics: Mali-450 MP3
Connectivity: 4× USB 2.0, micro-USB OTG, HDMI 2.0, Gigabit Ethernet (8P8C), Infrared, 40× GPIO ports

Raspberry specs:
SoC: Broadcom BCM2837
CPU: 4× ARM Cortex-A53, 1.2GHz
GPU: Broadcom VideoCore IV
RAM: 1GB LPDDR2 (900 MHz)
Networking: 10/100 Ethernet, 2.4GHz 802.11n wireless
Bluetooth: Bluetooth 4.1 Classic, Bluetooth Low Energy
Storage: microSD
GPIO: 40-pin header, populated
Ports: HDMI, 3.5mm analogue audio-video jack, 4× USB 2.0, Ethernet, Camera Serial Interface (CSI), Display Serial Interface (DSI)

I love it when I see posts on any social media site or app where it's like

"Looking for someone to hack a <insert social site> account"

Do they not know how secure those sites tend to be?
Do they think it's as easy as CSI makes it out to be?

or

Maybe they're the police trying to trick us

I wonder what draws people to watch all those boring soft murder shows like CSI: Some City.

So I wanted to make a Commodore 64 game, and I decided to use cc65, since I don’t want to use assembly.

First, I tried to position text, and I tried to use CSI escape codes, but that didn’t work.

I forgot to look at the examples, and then saw a lot of helper functions, which were nice.

Next, I tried to do some timing. sleep can only do seconds, so I wanted to use usleep, but they didn’t port it...

Moral of the story: ~~look at the docs~~ don’t make C64 games

What about silicon valley or csi cyber?

Gitlab should do what they do on CSI and just use a special laser that can rip the data off the hard drives.