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My colleague sent me this. Think before you act!
Hi Bob,
This is Alan next door. I’m sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you.
I’ve been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face but I am at least now telling in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.
The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not around.
In fact, probably more than you, particularly in the mornings after you’ve left for work.
I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse I know.
I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies.
My wife has known for some time now and I’ve promised her that it won't happen again.
Regards, Alan.
Bob, feeling anguished and betrayed, immediately went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife twice in the head, killing her instantly.
He returned to the lounge where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa.
He took out his phone to respond to the neighbour's text and saw he had another message:-
Hi Bob,
This is Alan next door again.
Sorry about the slight typo on my last text, I expect you worked it out.
Anyway, but as I’m sure you noticed, my predictive text changed ‘WiFi’ To ‘Wife’.
Hope you saw the funny side of that.
Regards, Alan.8 -
Wanted to give DuckDuckGo a try, later I realized I better not to, because a one letter mistake will lead to disasters.
I mistakenly typed: dickdickgo.com :)15 -
Developers too lazy to google search/read the README.md yet too proud to admit their mistakes.
They create disasters that I need to clean up later because they took a vacation.
10 -
I don't know if I'm being pranked or not, but I work with my boss and he has the strangest way of doing things.
- Only use PHP
- Keep error_reporting off (for development), Site cannot function if they are on.
- 20,000 lines of functions in a single file, 50% of which was unused, mostly repeated code that could have been reduced massively.
- Zero Code Comments
- Inconsistent variable names, function names, file names -- I was literally project searching for months to find things.
- There is nothing close to a normalized SQL Database, column ID names can't even stay consistent.
- Every query is done with a mysqli wrapper to use legacy mysql functions.
- Most used function is to escape stirngs
- Type-hinting is too strict for the code.
- Most files packed with Inline CSS, JavaScript and PHP - we don't want to use an external file otherwise we'd have to open two of them.
- Do not use a package manger composer because he doesn't have it installed.. Though I told him it's easy on any platform and I'll explain it.
- He downloads a few composer packages he likes and drag/drop them into random folder.
- Uses $_GET to set values and pass them around like a message contianer.
- One file is 6000 lines which is a giant if statement with somewhere close to 7 levels deep of recursion.
- Never removes his old code that bloats things.
- Has functions from a decade ago he would like to save to use some day. Just regular, plain old, PHP functions.
- Always wants to build things from scratch, and re-using a lot of his code that is honestly a weird way of doing almost everything.
- Using CodeIntel, Mess Detectors, Error Detectors is not good or useful.
- Would not deploy to production through any tool I setup, though I was told to. Instead he wrote bash scripts that still make me nervous.
- Often tells me to make something modern/great (reinventing a wheel) and then ends up saying, "I think I'd do it this way... Referes to his code 5 years ago".
- Using isset() breaks things.
- Tens of thousands of undefined variables exist because arrays are creates like $this[][][] = 5;
- Understanding the naming of functions required me to write several documents.
- I had to use #region tags to find places in the code quicker since a router was about 2000 lines of if else statements.
- I used Todo Bookmark extensions in VSCode to mark and flag everything that's a bug.
- Gets upset if I add anything to .gitignore; I tried to tell him it ignores files we don't want, he is though it deleted them for a while.
- He would rather explain every line of code in a mammoth project that follows no human known patterns, includes files that overwrite global scope variables and wants has me do the documentation.
- Open to ideas but when I bring them up such as - This is what most standards suggest, here's a literal example of exactly what you want but easier - He will passively decide against it and end up working on tedious things not very necessary for project release dates.
- On another project I try to write code but he wants to go over every single nook and cranny and stay on the phone the entire day as I watch his screen and Im trying to code.
I would like us all to do well but I do not consider him a programmer but a script-whippersnapper. I find myself trying to to debate the most basic of things (you shouldnt 777 every file), and I need all kinds of evidence before he will do something about it. We need "security" and all kinds of buzz words but I'm scared to death of this code. After several months its a nice place to work but I am convinced I'm being pranked or my boss has very little idea what he's doing. I've worked in a lot of disasters but nothing like this.
We are building an API, I could use something open source to help with anything from validations, routing, ACL but he ends up reinventing the wheel. I have never worked so slow, hindered and baffled at how I am supposed to build anything - nothing is stable, tested, and rarely logical. I suggested many things but he would rather have small talk and reason his way into using things he made.
I could fhave this project 50% done i a Node API i two weeks, pretty fast in a PHP or Python one, but we for reasons I have no idea would rather go slow and literally "build a framework". Two knuckleheads are going to build a PHP REST framework and compete with tested, tried and true open source tools by tens of millions?
I just wanted to rant because this drives me crazy. I have so much stress my neck and shoulder seems like a nerve is pinched. I don't understand what any of this means. I've never met someone who was wrong about so many things but believed they were right. I just don't know what to say so often on call I just say, 'uhh..'. It's like nothing anyone or any authority says matters, I don't know why he asks anything he's going to do things one way, a hard way, only that he can decipher. He's an owner, he's not worried about job security.12 -
On the game front, I see so much conflicting advice. "Start getting feedback" as soon as possible. "Donnt soft launch on steam! The algol will wreck you.", "soft launch on itch to get feedback", "dont soft launch on itch!"
"Start marketing today", "focus on influencers", "get to know communities *before* you advertise", "dont get to know communities beforehand if you're just planning on self prompting", "dont self promote".
"CPM is important.", "CPA is important". Etc.
Sounds a lot like "have a bunch of money upfront." The solution is just to succeed from the start! It's so obvious. Just invent the next gta. The next facebook. Get a small loan of 50,000 dollars, or a million. Donate for a year to other kickstarter projects so people will know you and reciprocate! But also dont ebeg!
How about no. How about fuck all this advice by silver spoon assholes that didnt have to work on shoestring budgets. The advice is the equivalent of having a 300 page tonedeaf book, every page blank except page 150, where the words "fuck you. I got mine." Are printed in times new Roman, 14pt font, neatly in the center of the page.
The truth is most of the "indies" already made it in the software industry proper, before switching over. $5k kickstarter videos, with $15k marketing budgets, no doubt funded in part through their own money funneled through services that provide shell donations, because KS is being used as a glorified advertising service. People buying off steam curators for promotions, youtubers making sponsored videos without disclosing they're sponsored. Fake viralility. Fake campaigns. Predetermined success for those who could *already* afford to develop and go commercial without a publisher. And they came into the market and cannibalized the opportunity, raising the bar for everyone that wasnt them. I guess that's actually a good thing, because we wouldnt have half the amazing games we do, and the pressure to produce quality. But then I see fantastic games utterly ignored or flailing in an attempt to compete for eyeballs in an industry frequently dominated by gatekeeping marketeers and influencers, where human grace determines success or complete oblivion. And I'm just disgusted with it.
Also buy my game. Preorder NOW! And you'll get a REAL canvas bag, I'll go to like the goodwill and buy one and screen print the game logo on it or some shit. Buy the special collectors edition and get pictures of my feet. Buy the game of the year edition and get a real gasmask. Preorder now and I'll fucking suck your di k right now. No lie. Preorder the diamond edition RIGHT NOW in the next six minutes and I will send you one hundred thousand dollars in gold plated bottle caps. Limited supply. one million per customer. Offer expires soon. This is not a scam. I repeat. This is NOT a scam.
In other news I'm soft launching Atom Ranger in six months (assuming the nuclear apocalypse hasn't *actually* started by then). Its state of decay and fallout meets rimworld. Build and manage a sprawling base, resolving conflicts, exploring post apocalyptic Colorado and surrounding territories of no-mans-land. Navigate hazardous weather, radioactive terrain, collapsed bridges, dangerous rivers, and deal with cultists, bandits, slavers, and hungry cannibals. Broker peace between not just the factions outside your settlements, but within your base too. Manage conflicts, settle disputes, avert disasters, barter, scavenge, and survive in a fully dynamic world, where buildings slowly crumble, grass and trees sprout up in the road and vacant lots, fires burn out of control, and factions loot, ruin, and takeover settlements. Watch the world and the survivors in it change and survive. Help them to survive, or become a warlord and rule over the wastes.
Lets be honest. It's basically kenshi but less complicated.
If you want to volunteer to test (instead of paying to be a glorified tester, aka "alpha") let me know in the comments.
I'm currently setting up a discord and mailing list.28 -
yeah !!!! i thought nothing can't break the mood of a developer ... but some fucking natural disasters matters..
#keralaFloods9 -
I never thought to I'd say this about an open-source project, but if I wanted to single out an unbeatable case of "Bad Design", and the manifestation of the term "Redundancy Hell", It is definitely Calibre.
Single job: To keep some e-book files + some metadata.
What it does in brief: In a single dir as your library; From metadata stored IN each file; It generates subdirs <author_name>/<title_name>(<some_numerical_id>), copies the e-book file there, generates a jpg cover from the first page and also stores it there, generates an xml file to support legacy e-book formats (but it generates it anyway even for pdfs), which contains all the same metadata for the file, including title, author and href for the cover, and also stores it there. And then, all the same metadata for all books is stored in a metadata.db in the library root folder. I don't know if there is more data stored/used somewhere in a more obfuscated way.
Not too much to ask: Change some author/title/any single field.
What is done: 💩🌋
It is so helpful, it does all the stuff by itself or its plugins; you don't have to touch anything. But it also has this amazing ability to fuck everything up without even being touched. I mean WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING? WHAT KIND OF A FUCKING DESIGN IS THIS? A FUCKING FRACTAL?
Literally, If I had listed all my books on physical papers with a real life pen, It would take me less time that I've already wasted on unfucking the regular disasters. Fuck you and your arrogant responses to issues. -
I hate it when everything goes well, but when I start doing demo in front on my boss, disasters happen!!!3
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I cant keep this inside anymore I have to rant!
I have a colleague that is an horrendous loose bug-cannon. Every peer-review is like a fight for the products life.
Now I understand - everyone makes bugs me included and it is a huge relief when someone finds them during peer-review. But these aren't the simple kind of bugs. The ones easily made when writing large pieces of code quickly. Typing = instead of == or a misshandling of a terminating character causing weird behaviour. These kinds of bugs rarely pass by a peer-review or are quickly found when a bug report is recieved from testers.
No the bugs my colleague makes are the bugs that completly destroy the logic flow of a whole module. The things that worst case cause crashes. Or are complete disasters trying to figure out what causes them if they are discovered first when the product reaches production!
Ironically he is amazing a peer reviewing other peoples code.
But do you know what the worst thing of all is! Most of the bugs he causes are because he has to "tidy up" and "refactor" every piece of code he touches. The actual bugfix might be a one liner but in the same commit he can still manage to conjure up 3 new bugs. He's like a bug wizard!
*frustrated Aruughhhh noises*9 -
https://github.com/PwnFunction/...
Who led this flattening user input object into the Next.js codebase, also thinking that `runContext` is going to make better companion than `eval`?
Yet another reason to switch over Sapper and other Svelte minimalistic solutions, in my opinion.
1 -
So I just saw an ad on Twitter about a project launched by IBM and the Linux foundation that aims to recruit developers to create programs that would help in case of natural disasters.
Do you think it can really make a difference or that it's just a marketing move from IBM?
Here's the link if you're interested :
https://developer.ibm.com/callforco...3 -
(Note for dfox: I love this place and i would really like to have all my posts/ ++s/comment data available to me . Current system does not allow me to see posts more than some months old. is it possible? I hope devrant is not deleting old posts)
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Stream of thoughts coming through
#justAthought 1
If you feel you are mentally unique (Not in retarded or disable kind of way, but having a different view of thinking, a different perspective, not-a-sheep-in-a-herd kind of mentality) , then you PROBABLY ARE, its just those who are not that mentally unique will find your thoughts absurd until you are proving yourself to be a successful person.
Even though you feel something is wrong in a current situation, and you can put some valid points in your argument, there would always come a point where your personal failures or average-ness would overshadow your valid points (kind of personal experience than a thought :/ )
#justAThought2 (Disclaimer: i am no fraud guru or priest, just a 9-5 curious , sleepless student-cum-professional)
I sometimes feel that the only good, meaningful goal that i could think for my life would be : to earn enough money to set up a small experiment environment , where I would initially take, around 25-30 people for 1-2 years. It would be an environment with totally $0 value for materialistic things like money, jewels, property,etc . Everyone is living free of tensions of basic services like food, clothes, house, taxes, work to live etc. Together we all will be collectively doing just these things: Making ourselves healthy , and more kind, spiritual towards other humans, animals, plants and environment, and thinking of ways to eradicate the value of "value".
We have already reached a point where we are generating even more harmful Technology than useful tech, how about changing the way of thinking and taking a small pause? I know a lot of people would be reluctant to do any work in such environment, but i believe one day or another, every one of these people has to come back to their usual jobs , but this time, not for money but for humanity.
Do you think this kind of environment is possible for the whole world? Because today most, if not all thinks that money is the ultimate goal. can we change that, and would that change be good?
#justAthought 3 (Disclaimer : 1. Its my mom's thought/whatsapp status , i kind off liked it. she is super religious by the way ^_^! | 2. more relevant for india/multi religious countries 3. for Indians: kind of thought from movie "oh my god")
There should be a regional law during so called "acts of god"(floods, earthquakes, other natural disasters) under which the donations given to religious places(temples, churches, mosques,etc) would be used to provide relief to affected areas.3 -
RECOVER STOLEN CRYPT0 FUNDS THROUGH THE HELP OF \\FOLKWIN EXPERT RECOVERY.
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Having reached a breaking point, well-nigh flinging in the towel, I retreated to my favorite haunt-Reddit. I scrolled through some posts on r/Bitcoin and other crypto forums until I chanced upon this game-changing thread. A user, clearly wrung through the emotional wringer, gave his testimony of a service called (FOLKWIN (Expert) RECOVERY). They detailed how this team, after many failed attempts with other recovery services, could trace their lost Bitcoin and actually restore access to their wallet. His posts had "to the moon," "HOLD on tight," and "DYOR" like classic Reddit garnishes, which really hit close to home with me. Skeptical but desperate, I reached out to FOLKWINEXPERTRECOVERY(at)TECH-CENTER. C O M, What's app:+1 (740)705-0711. I explained my situation, half-expecting another round of disappointing responses. Instead, their team was surprisingly responsive and professional, treating my case like some high-priority mission deep into the digital labyrinth where my Bitcoin was lost. Over the following weeks, I received regular updates while they meticulously traced my funds using state-of-the-art blockchain forensic tools. Then came the call that I had been looking for: They had recovered my $10-million Bitcoin wallet. It was greatly relieving-beyond words-just a miracle right before the eyes. At (FOLKWIN (Expert) RECOVERY), not only did they salvage my fortune but also my lost faith in this crypto space. If ever you are caught in the same bind, take it from me-never lose hope, and never ditch the experts. (FOLKWIN (Expert) RECOVERY) is not one of those services; it's the real deal when it comes to turning disasters around into epic comeback stories.
Regards,
Lissette Rodriguez.
1 -
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YOU CAN REACH OUT TO THEM ON THEIR CONTACT INFO BELOW:
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WhatsApp: + 1 ( 9 7 1 ) 4 8 7 - 3 5 3 8
Telegram: + 1 ( 5 8 1 ) 2 8 6 - 8 0 9 2
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1 -
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Life is amusingly funny. One minute I was waiting for my morning coffee, and the next, I was eavesdropping on a barista raving about SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY like they were actual superheroes.
At the time, I laughed it off. I was under the impression that I would never need such crypto recovery services. My wallet was safe, my security was on solid grounds-or so it seemed.
That all changed one week later. I had been planning to transfer some Bitcoin when, out of nowhere, my wallet rejected my credentials. Incorrect password.
I tried again. And again. Panic set in.
My $330,000 was locked away, and for the life of me, I couldn't remember the password. I was sure I had it right, but the wallet said otherwise. That's when I remembered the barista's enthusiastic endorsement of SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY; desperate, I looked them up and decided to reach out. From the very first message, their team showed patience, understanding, and a great deal of professionalism, assuring me that I wasn't the first-not to say the last-person in the world who had lost access to his wallet because he forgot the password. Their confidence set me at ease, but I couldn't help it: I was nervous. Was my Bitcoin gone forever? Not a chance. Over the succeeding days, their experts worked through different advanced decryption techniques to crack my forgotten password. They swam through the security layers, tested all sorts of possible variations, and-miraculously-got me back in. It felt like I had won the lottery when I saw my balance restored. I must have sounded just like that barista, singing SALVAGE ASSET RECOVERY's praises to anyone who would listen, as the relief was overwhelming. They didn't just recover my funds but also gave me practical advice on password management, securing my crypto, and avoiding similar disasters in the future. Nowadays, every time I pass that coffee shop, I make sure to leave a fat tip—just because, if it wasn't for that conversation, I could still be locked out of my Bitcoin.
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TELEGRAM---@Salvageasset
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1 -
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1 -
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WhatsApp+ 1 8 4 7 6 5 4 7 0 9 6
Life is amusingly funny. One minute I was waiting for my morning coffee, and the next, I was eavesdropping on a barista raving about Salvage Asset Recovery like they were actual superheroes.
At the time, I laughed it off. I was under the impression that I would never need such crypto recovery services. My wallet was safe, my security was on solid grounds-or so it seemed.
That all changed one week later. I had been planning to transfer some Bitcoin when, out of nowhere, my wallet rejected my credentials. Incorrect password.
I tried again. And again. Panic set in.
My $330,000 was locked away, and for the life of me, I couldn't remember the password. I was sure I had it right, but the wallet said otherwise. That's when I remembered the barista's enthusiastic endorsement of Salvage Asset Recovery; desperate, I looked them up and decided to reach out. From the very first message, their team showed patience, understanding, and a great deal of professionalism, assuring me that I wasn't the first-not to say the last-person in the world who had lost access to his wallet because he forgot the password. Their confidence set me at ease, but I couldn't help it: I was nervous. Was my Bitcoin gone forever? Not a chance. Over the succeeding days, their experts worked through different advanced decryption techniques to crack my forgotten password. They swam through the security layers, tested all sorts of possible variations, and-miraculously-got me back in. It felt like I had won the lottery when I saw my balance restored. I must have sounded just like that barista, singing Salvage Asset Recovery's praises to anyone who would listen, as the relief was overwhelming. They didn't just recover my funds but also gave me practical advice on password management, securing my crypto, and avoiding similar disasters in the future. Nowadays, every time I pass that coffee shop, I make sure to leave a fat tip—just because, if it wasn't for that conversation, I could still be locked out of my Bitcoin.
Lesson learned: Always double-check your passwords. And if you ever find yourself locked out of your crypto, Salvage Asset Recovery is the name to remember.
1 -
"Through centuries of scourges and disasters, brought about by your code, you have cried that your code had been broken, that the scourges were punishment for breaking it, that men were too weak and too selfish to spill all the blood it required. You damned men, you damned existence, you damned this earth, but never dared to question your code. Your victims took the blame and struggled on, with your curses as reward for their martyrdom - while you went on crying that your code was noble, but human nature was not good enough to practice it. And no one rose to ask the question: Good? - by what standard? " - Ope Rand.
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