Hey Root, we have a high priority ticket for you! It's adding some columns to a report. Should be simple. Details are in the ticket.

First: reports are some of the most boring, drool-inducing drudgery i have ever worked on.

Second: Specs for these reports are a nightmare since everything is ... very indirectly tested, and the specs are everywhere but where you'd expect them to be, so it's a lot of spelunking and trial/error. It's also slow as beans.

Anyway. The ticket's details are in ... not the worst engrish i've ever seen, but it's bad enough that i have no idea what they're asking despite (thus far) five attempts at deciphering it. There's also a numbered list of "fields" to add, so you'd think it would be straightforward. It is not. Half the list is crossed out, and half of the remaining items are feature requests (in yet more engrish), not columns to add. Also, one of the actual fields is impossible as the data it's asking for is not recorded anywhere.

yeah...

I cringe every time I see this person's name as the reporter because it's always the same. and honestly, there are more of these engrish people every month, and believe me: it isn't just a language barrier...

"Sooo, children of the village, what are we going to write front-end in?" - I said to my infant students.
"Typescript with ts-loader/awesometypescript loader for webpack" - simultaneously yelled the kids.
"Exactly! Brilliant! And now, what are we going to be writing back-end in?" - asked I then.
The kids yelled: "PHP 7.2 with Laravel, or Go with Gingonic and juliensmith/httprouter, or Typescript without loader, with express/koa"
Truly stunned with their excellence, I asked "Well, now you 100% ain't gonna get it right - what are we going to be writing a desktop application that doesn't require a lot of native functionality and preferably, cross-platform in?" And the kids didn't hesitate to yell happily "Typescript targeting Electron", which has only brought tear to my eye.
"A native ms windows app?" "WPF under C#"
"A native gtk app?" "Vala"
"A native KDE/XFCE app?" "Cpp/Qt"
"A native mac app?" "Swift3.2/4"
I was in tears, just thinking about what future these kids have, but suddenly I have noticed one of kids seemed puzzled. It was Pajeet, an indian guy, ugh, his mom was a bitch. I asked him "What is wrong, little acoustic?" "But I like Java, and I would like to make back-end with Tomcat!" he replied. "Ooooh :3" cutely I moaned, trying to reach the handle of the table locker "I've got something just for you". I pulled out a rope, with sewed-in spikes, covered in drool and piss, came up to Pajeet and tenderly put it around his neck, making a knot. Pajeet fell under the table, and I got fired.

sleep. this isn't even a fucking sarcastic answer. my motherboard almost got fried from my drool after falling asleep on my keyboard.

seeing all these real life computer setups and desktops makes me drool. @dfox and @trogus , mind if i suggest creating a tab or place to share this exquisite computer porn ?

Need two needles, two infusion hoses and 5 - 10 l of coffee.

The blood must go, the caffeine get in instead.

And yeah. This sounds fantastical in my brain right now, as I'm literally drooling half asleep in front of the PC.

It's 16 o clock in germany and I have gotten done nothing.

And I think I should put on some baby bips or the keyboard fries from drool.

Before 7am this morning I'd managed to sit on my laptop that had fallen underneath a cushion and drop my phone in the kitchen, bouncing along the tile floor and into a puddle of my dogs drool.

My body is clearly anti-technology today.

"Negative knowledge": crap you have to erase from someone's brain along with the dogmatic attachement they have to it before you can actually help them with anything. Better to start with someone with an empty brain even with the added drool. Easier to get to 100 from 0 rather than -100 afterall... #CPPpains

Wrote the following comment and deleted because I don't wanna give negative thoughts to OP on Monday 🤔 so I just decided to share this as a rant. 😳

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Thought I would just drop by to drool at the comments because I saw "artificial intelligence" and stuffs on the rant. Turn out it is a chatbot to reply when account goes offline. No offense, but I facepalm-ed myself.

I know chatbot falls under AI subject, but an auto reply isn't.

So, I feel a sleep at my desk for about 15 minutes. Only to awaken with drool down my shirt. I then proceeded, while half sleep, to delete 58 rows from the DB...O.o

Hahahahaha good thing it was only on my machine.

Whenever I have my mac crash and corrupt its OS, I just get a backup harddrive and it copies itself FLAWESSLY. I have all my programs, settings, settings in programs and files.

When Windows crashes, and I use the recovery tool, I LOOSE EVERYTHING. The only thing I get to keep are my files, and they most of the time have permission issues after a restore.

Windows is like the toddler that stares out to void of existance and can't do anything but drool on their shirt, while its parents say he's highly gifted.

Fuck me we're able to choose between only a few OS'es that my clients know and allow me to work on but things like this just make me want to go be a chicken farmer or something.

"At the end of the day, pretty colors make people drool. " - Nathan Rice

I hate afternoon slump I just fell asleep in my chair at least I didn't snore or drool on my keyboard too late for a cup of coffee but I need something.

I can not emphasize enough as a webdeveloper how totally stunning the Apple website is. It’s at least just as amazing as their products and it doesn’t even cost any money for us to browse it and get inspired by it. Really top notch gorgeous pixels. *drool*

Right now I just want to finish installing and fixing the bugs of Android Studio. I can't use it yet. The java executable that comes with Android Studio has a major issue (Linux Version). I drool over the IDE and what I'll be able to do-after the bug is gone, that is. Btw, this has stopped me for months now. CAN ANYONE HELP ME WITH THIS BUGGY MONSTER?