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Search - "i'm a simple programmer"
My "Coding Standards" for my dev team
1.) Every developer thinks or have thought their shit don't stink. If you think you have the best code, submit it to your peers for review. The results may surprise you.
2.) It doesn't matter if you've been working here for a day or ten years. Everyone's input is valuable. I don't care if you're the best damn programmer. If you ever pull rank or seniority on someone who is trying to help, even if it isn't necessarily valid or helpful, please have your resume ready to work elsewhere.
3.) Every language is great and every language sucks in their own ways. We don't have time for a measuring contest. The only time a language debate should arise is for the goal of finding the right one for the project at hand.
4.) Comment your code. We don't have time to investigate what the structure and purpose of your code is when we need to extend upon it.
5.) If you use someone else's work, give them the credit in your comments. Plagiarism will not be tolerated.
6.) If you use flash, you will be taken out back and shot. If you survive, you will be shot again.
7.) If you load jQuery for the sole purpose of writing a simple function, #6 applies.
8.) Unless it is an actual picture, there is little to no reason for not utilizing CSS. That's what it's there for.
9.) We don't support any version of Internet Explorer and Edge other than the latest versions, and only layout/alignment fixes will be bothered with.
10.) If you are struggling with a task, reach out. While you should be able to work independently, it doesn't make sense to waste your time and everyone else's to not seek assistance when needed.
11.) I'm serious about #6 and #7. Don't do it.48
Friend: *deletes something from the internet*
"Thank god, now it's gone forever!"
Me: *Laughs in French*
Me: "No, I'm pretty sure almost everything you put on the internet stays on the internet."
Friend: "ARE YOU STUPID??! The button says fucking DELETE. What else would it to do? Please use your brain for once."
Me: "You realize that text in the button is just a string right?"
Friend: *Looks confused*
"Stop trying to be such a smartass. Why would it be called 'delete' if it doesn't delete? Your logic make no sense whatsoever."
Me: *Makes quick simple app in order to prove my point*
App has 4 buttons:
-Play Music: Shows a picture of a dog
-Stop Music: Starts playing music video of Never gonna give you up
-Close App: Changes the interface to a random color
-Delete App: Pop up that says "The app has been deleted"
Friend: *Installs and tries the app*
"Dude! Did you even test your app before sending me?? Your buttons are broken as hell. None of them works. They all do things they're not supposed to do. How do you even call yourself a programmer? Sorry dude, nothing personal but this app sucks."
Me: *I need a new friend*
Never let anyone make you believe that just because you don't have a specific skill which is 'required' for your dream job/a job you really want, you won't be able to reach it.
I've heard countless times that I could never do anything with programming/linux (server) engineering because I'm freaking bad at maths. They always said it was a requirement to understand it in order to become good at those two things.
Except for a few simple tests with 'okay' marks, I never got a good grade for it and failed it entirely at every school.
Guess who's a programmer (free time) and a professional linuxer right now!
It just pisses me off when people tell someone that because they don't possess a skill, they won't be able to make it to what they would love to do.14
I'm a new developer. Here is the top advice I've received:
0. Think like a programmer, outside of work too.
1. Programming is tough. It takes a certain kind of mindset to sit in front of a monitor and think it through a problem till the end. Develop that mindset.
2. Handwork pays.
3. Do it for fun. Be exceptional. Money will follow.
4. Care about the craft you build. Write such a beautiful code that your fellow devs would think about your code and have a nerdgasm.
5. Simple is beautiful. Anybody can make things complex. It takes a stroke of genius to make things simple.
6. Write modular code. It makes your code reusable and easy to maintain. Future developers who will work on your piece of code will appreciate it.
7. Share your knowledge. Unlike materialistic things, knowledge grows when you share it.
8. Add comments. You think you'll remember why you wrote that piece of code that way or a clever hack you created but trust me, you won't.
9. Be humble. You'll never know everything. Don't hesitate to ask for help.
10. Writing code is exciting! Of course there will be some frustrating moments. But don't give up! You'll miss a lot of fun.5
I'm a self taught "code enthusiast" (don't think of myself as a programmer just yet). I love to play around with simple code, but I could never get into a "serious" project cause in my mind, to be a programmer you need to know every single line of code and not rely on the internet.
The fact that I got into programming at 23 doesn't help cause I also feel like a parent learning to use a piece of modern technology(even tho I'm tech savvy).
Anyone got any advice?22
I developed a simple scholarship management system for my school using Laravel, MySQL, jQuery and Bootstrap, I did it for free since college students from my country have to pay social service to get their degrees. Everyone in the scholarships department seemed to be really happy with my work and they evaluated my social service with 10/10, but yesterday they asked for one last favor: to go talk to the new social service guy who'll be supposed to maintain my project, a mid 30's dude who was really pissed off from the beginning because he wasn't even able to deploy the project, he wasn't even able to clone the project from Github. Ok, so I tried to explain to him the tools I used and how the project was structured, but everything I said seemed to piss him even more, so I stopped and had a chat like:
Me: "Look man, do you know or at least have basic concepts of PHP and MVC frameworks?"
Guy: "Yes, but I'm a project manager, not just –despectively– any programmer, and you didn't write proper documentation, it's impossible to deploy your project with the manual you wrote, I cannot work like this".
*We go to their computer and I clone and setup the project in 3 minutes.
Guy: "Yes, but I still don't know how the project works, I need everything documented. If I have to change something, I don't know where to look.
Me: "Man, that's why asked you about knowing PHP MVC frameworks".
Guy: "I cannot work like this, nothing is documented, I don't even know what's that software you're using *points at Sublime Text*. Or tell me, can you arrive at a place where they expect you to work with something you don't know and they have no documentation?"
*At this point he was really pissed
Me: "Well... Dealing with non-documented software is what I do for a living"
Guy: "I don't know what companies you've worked for, probably not big ones..."
Me: "Well, I actually work for *I mention one of the biggest music apps in the country*"
*Guy ironically laughs
When I gave my feedback to the lady in charge of the department, I told her that this guy was really pissed off at how things were done and that I wasn't so sure of him being capable of maintaining the system. She told me not to worry, that the guy became a well known asshole in the office only after a few days, and that she'll probably have to find something else for him to do. It'd be hilarious if this guy ends up capturing scholarships in the system I made.4
TL;DR age != competence
My boss is a fucking computer illiterate self taught programmer.
Don't get me wrong, he can do shit, pretty shitty but it gets done...
But the dude has 38 fucking years old and somehow still searches for keys on the fucking keyboard and struggles to touch type anything...
I sometimes crying the fuck out when I have to help him with something...
I'm having a mini fucking panic attack right now just thinking of it... Fuck
He is our "manager" but doesn't even have the fucking balls to confront his own subordinates when they need to be confronted... Everyone is aware of this and everyone is fucking around... And no one sees any consequences... I wonder why deadlines are always missed...
He is so passive that every fucking thing someone asks he goes and says it is OK...
I was studying same psychology about ignorance and I think he lacks the understanding that shit is hard to do...
We literary had a conversation the other day something like that:
Boss: so, what do you think? One call to the api for it to return all data or multiple calls to return smaller ones?
Me: well... It takes ~180ms just for latency to the server for one call, if you have 10 calls it will take 180*10ms, it is better if we have one call and cache it if necessary on the backend.
( he has no fucking clue wtf caching is, besides browser cache)
Boss: (looking confuse AS FUCK!!) Well, I don't get it... Maybe I'll test it later.
Me thinking: test how you dumb motherfucker? On you fucking workstation with no fucking latency?
There is no fucking test. I'm stating it. IT IS A FUCKING FACT!
Me: well, it takes that for the call to go to the api and come back , its simple math. 1 == 180, 10 == 1800.
Did a bunch more cowboy coding today as I call it (coding in vi on production). Gather 'round kiddies, uncle Logan's got a story fer ya…
First things first, disclaimer: I'm no sysadmin. I respect sysadmins and the work they do, but I'm the first to admit my strengths definitely lie more in writing programs rather than running servers.
I could rant for days about the various problems this codebase has, but today I have a very specific story to tell. A story about errors and logs.
And it all started when I noticed the disk space on our server was gradually decreasing.
So today I logged onto our API server (Ubuntu running Apache/PHP) and did a df -h to check the disk space, and was surprised to see that it had noticeably decreased since the last time I'd checked when everything was running smoothly. But seeing as this server does not store any persistent customer data (we have a separate db server) and purely hosts the stateless API, it should NOT be consuming disk space over time at all.
The only thing I could think of was the logs, but the logs were very quiet, just the odd benign message that was fully expected. Just to be sure I did an ls -Sh to check the size of the logs, and while some of them were a little big, nothing over a few megs. Nothing to account for gigabytes of disk space gradually disappearing.
What could it be? I wondered.
du . | sort --sort=numeric
What's this? 2671132 K in some log folder buried in the api source code? I cd into it and it turns out there are separate PHP log files in there, split up by customer, so that each customer of ours (we have 120) has their own respective error log! (Why??)
Armed with this newfound piece of (still rather unbelievable) evidence I perform a mad scramble to search the codebase for where this extra logging is happening and sure enough I find a custom PHP error handler that is capturing (most) errors and redirecting them to these individualized log files.
Conveniently enough, not ALL errors were being absorbed though, so I still knew the main error_log was working (and any time I explicitly error_logged it would go there, so I was none the wiser that this other error-catching was even happening).
Needless to say I removed the code as quickly as I found it, tail -f'd the error_log and to my dismay it was being absolutely flooded with syntax errors, runtime PHP exceptions, warnings galore, and all sorts of other things.
My jaw almost hit the floor. I've been with this company for 6 months and had no idea these errors were even happening!
The sad thing was how easy to fix all the errors ended up being. Most of them were "undefined index" errors that could have been completely avoided with a simple isset() check, but instead ended up throwing an exception, nullifying any code that came after it.
Anyway kids, the moral of the story is don't split up your log files. It makes absolutely no sense and can end up obscuring easily fixable bugs for half a year or more!
A couple of weeks ago I went to an interview where I was asked the following questions back to back: "What would you do if you were the prime minister?" && "What would you do if you were the attorney general of the United Nations".
Needless to say, I wasn't prepared for that...5
I live in a small town and work remotely. When I tell people, (even young ones) I'm a programmer/web developer they think I install programs or make simple sites. I try to explain to them that I make the things but it perplexes them. Maybe because they think all apps are made by hi tech wizards and not average joes like myself working for average companies. Any of you other countryfolk have similar experiences?2
while reading rebecca & brain's book on object oriented software. I realised that the programmer is a special kind of person. the complexity he can handle, the struggle to implement a system, from input to output, satellite control, AI, robotics, heck, even the planning required for a simple android app, the complexity is overwhelming at first, then you get your jotter and break it down into parts, and you drive yourself to the edge of sanity figuring out an algorithm, then you go over that edge implementing it, but oh that great super hero feeling when you finally get something to work exactly as specified, I'm not sure people in other professions can understand the satisfaction. I'm very young in the whole programmer world, but I'm growing fast, I'm just really grateful programming found me, I mean, can you think of something else you'lld rather do? yeah, me neither.4
I need to rant about life decisions, and choosing a dev career probably too early. Not extremely development related, but it's the life of a developer.
TL;DR: I tried a new thing and that thing is now my thing. The new thing is way more work than my old thing but way more rewarding & exciting. Try new things.
I taught myself to program when I was a kid (11 or 12 years old), and since then I have always been absolutely sure that I wanted to be a games programmer. I took classes in high school and college with that aim, and chose a games programming degree. Everything was so simple, nail the degree, get a job programming something, and take the first games job that I could and go from there.
I have always had random side hobbies that I liked to teach myself, just like programming. And in uni I decided that I wanted to learn another language (natural, not programming) because growing up in England meant that I only learned English and was rarely exposed to anything else. The idea of knowing another fascinated me.
So I dabbled in a few different languages, tried to find a culture that seemed to fit my style and attitude to life and others, and eventually found myself learning Korean. That quickly became something I was doing every single day, and I decided I needed to go to Korea and see what life there could be like.
I found out that my university offered a free summer school program for a couple of weeks, all I had to pay for was the flights. So a few months later I was there and it was literally the best thing I'd done in my life to that point. I'd found two things that made me feel even better than the idea of becoming the games programmer I'd always wanted to be. Travelling and using my other language to communicate with people that I couldn't in English. At that point I was still just a beginner, but even the simple conversations with people who couldn't speak English felt awesome.
So when I returned home, I found that that trip had completely thrown a spanner into my life plan. All I could think about after that was improving my language skills and going back there for as long as possible. Who knows what to do.
I did exactly that. I studied harder than I'd ever studied for anything and left the next year to go and study in Korea, now with intermediate language skills, everyday conversations no longer being a problem at all.
Now I live here, I will be here for the next year and I have to return to England for one year to finish my degree. Then instead of having my simple plan of becoming a developer, I can think of nothing I want to do less than just stay in England doing the same job every day, nothing to do with language. I need to be at least travelling to Korea, and using my language skills in at least some way.
The current WIP plan is to take intensive language classes here (from next week, every single weekday), build awesome dev side projects and contribute to open source stuff. Then try to build a life of freelance translation/interpreting/language teaching and software development (maybe here, maybe Korea).
So the point of this rant is that before, I had a solid plan. Now I am sat in my bed in Korea writing this, thinking about how I have almost no idea how I'm going to build the life that I want. And yet somehow, the uncertainty makes this so much more exciting and fulfilling. There's a lot more worrying, planning and deciding to do. But I think the fact that I completely changed my life goals just through a small decision one day to satisfy a curiosity is a huge life lesson for me. And maybe reading this will help other people decide to just try doing something different for once, and see if your life plan holds up.
If it does, never stop trying new things. If it doesn't (like mine), then you now know that you've found something that you love as much as or even more that your plan before. Something that you might have lived your whole life never finding.
I don't expect many people to read this all, but writing it here has been very cathartic for me, and it's still a rant because now I have so much more work and planning to do. But it's the good kind of work.
Things aren't so simple now, but they're way more worth it.3
How single tiny mistakes can ruin your day...
For those who don't know me (and I've been absent from social media, even DevR cause of a burn out) I'm not a developer as most here, my code Is Numeric Code (work with a CNC machine)
Like, I have to do corrections every day to compensate for my programmer mistakes...
-Today broke two tools because I'm so tired I forgot to make such corrections...
-Got fucked up by my boss cause of It
- worked to hard all week to push the work forward (everyone else is dependent on me, because I start most of the pieces from a block of metal), now I can't think straight... and get fucked because of some simple mistakes...
Colleges trow away pieces worth from 5000 euros to 50000 euros (and more) cause of distraction and he always picks on me, even for stuff that isn't my fault or my responsibility...
I love my job, my company, but sometimes...
BTW, if anyone is curious what a CNC machine does, check this out: https://youtube.com/watch/...
Its so awesome to work with such a machine... Mine has a 2,5m x 1,3m table and 5 tons maximum weight4
Tl;dr: I'm a shitty PHP programmer, but even a shittier JS programmer.
I made a whole image upload system which has an elaborate login/sign up facility, checks the dimensions of an image, it's size, checks if it's broken, compares it to previous uploads to prevent duplicates, take comments, sorts them per user and stores it efficiently in a db and accesses it using PDO, not mySQL, displays it as a gallery, and even lets the users transfer images amongst them.
But I can't make a simple shopping cart in js.
Why? Just, why?3
How do I get gud? Been coding in Python for a while now and I still have a little bit of a problem figuring out where to go. I can read the docs and generally construct a decent program if it's fairly simple. Go anywhere beyond what I know I end up having to google for examples. Not sure if that's how many people do it but I feel like it's cheap. I feel like I'm taking bits of code, modifying it, and slapping part of my own code to it. I'm trying to teach myself how to make my own program without any major help from Google.
I'm still new so I think it's okay for the most part but I don't want to be a half ass programmer who more or less just googles and slaps things together. I want to sit there, think of a problem, and think "Oh I can use this module to help me with this and I can create this function using xyz and that should solve it!" I'm sure part of that comes with practice, but what else can I do to get gud and not be a lousy coder?4
I started a company a while back that builds really simple wordpress sites and design for small businesses. I took a client on that needed things that were well above my skill level as a "programmer" and it's been equally frustrating and satisfying to consistently have the shit kicked out of me while spending hours trying to solve problem after problem. I've never worked for a company as a coder and one of the things I'm starting to wonder about is whether or not I'm "cut out" to be a programmer. I like doing it, but from a business owner perspective I don't know that I would actually want myself as an employee. My question is: does everyone feel like a ducking retard everyday they go at it with their job as a programmer?5
Okay so I need someone to tell me if this is what its like programming for a Superior at an actual job. Background information, I go to a highschool where Im learning IT fundementals, Programming, and networking.
So then my teacher is like "can you add a number showing what percent its at?" and I was like "yeah sure" so I did it, and today I showed him and he was like "Can you make it to where the percent is in the center so you can see what its at the whole time" so I obviously replied
I've been infcted with writing awful, sinful, obscure code, so others can't read or change it.
Recently i got my first full time job as a programmer (yay). It's with a company with 15+ year old system and they are currently upgrading it. But it's driving me crazy with the massive mess of old and new code. However it only gets worse! Instead of making it simple and nice to read, they want it over complex, just to get something from the database i have create at least 5 fucking classes and endless SQL code, the old system didn't requier any SQL or the creation og new classes, WTF. I've become a sinner, of corse i use the old system, but i do it secretly, and i obscurify my code so others can't understand. It's shameful, but i'm afraid to confront the older programmers, they've spend too much time in the system and they've been in the business for a lot longer than me.3
!Rant - I'm looking for some advice 🤔
So this kid he's 13 interested in building cool things programming etc hasn't had any real start in it.
So I'm like ! Great! 🤔
Another programmer in this world would be lovely ... Before I used to take this approach of, you should do ... This.
Now I'm taking the approach, well what do you like what interests you 🤔 what do you find yourself needing?
Effectively trying to find an in, Into what might drive him to keep with it.
I find people get to ... Uninterested in it. Fast. I've literally had 10-20 people go 🤔 I would like to find out more I really like this etc .
But most don't stick with it I feel because I suggest they make this start and they aren't interested in.... That specifically even though it's a steeping stone
Normally I suggest html CSS right. It's a simple easy thing to learn
It's not what I did but I think it's... A smoother transition then my c# start then dropping to c++ then web
So opinions ? Is this the right move 🤔 he has this project in mind now. This app. Which I said could be built in html CSS really if he wanted to. Or though I suggested looking at some native stuff to, then pick.
I've left it open said he can ask anytime. I sent him codeacademy fyi
I told him to get this app to 😂 so might be on here8
It's not my intention to start a web technology war so be nice do not do that 😁
Short Info: I'm "desktop programmer" (if that word exists) in either C # or Java 😎
question: I would like to create my own website, just simple to start with and maybe expand it later with eg. Arduino temperature meter
I have a look at 2 programming languages that I can build it in, Js or PHP. I just do not know which one to choose, I'm probably the most to Js, but what are the pros and cons of these 2 and / or is there a completely different programming language I have to take a look at?16
So there is this website called 100daysofrunning.in one of the worst design seen ever. They've a submit page which is another app that opens in an iframe.
If you're part of challenge, everyday you've to submit a form. Distance, time, Strava link, date and it's a pain to do so every day.
On the 50th day they restricted the date to7 days, so you cannot post data older then 7 days.
Being a programmer it would have been insult had i entered data manually.
Thanks to casperjs, meteorjs i was able to automate fetch from strava and post on this dumb page.
One day due an error, the script failed and I've missed one day of data entry. That's 2km of running gone invain and I'm out of the challenge.
Programming has mad me lazy. Screw programming. I should've been a dumb idiot to manually add data spending fkin 30 mins, atleast life would be simple.
Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm the Charlie Brown of development and Lucy with the football is the XAMPP/MAMP/WAMP software in this world. EVERY. TIME. I. TRY. TO. SPIN. THIS. UP. IT. FAILS. It doesn't matter which tutorial I follow for which technology stack or CMS, the result is always the same. Something about the database or htaccess or some other stupid setting makes it impossible for me to create a simple dev environment on my system.
I have been doing this dance for 24 YEARS NOW!!!! The original programmer of Apache is a 2nd-degree acquaintance who used to be available to help me with this, but no more. I feel like a complete and utter failure as a web developer every time I try to set up XAMPP, and, the rare times I've succeeded and gotten a basic CMS up and running, I fail again and again with all these build/run/task tools I'm now supposed to be using. After a week of fiddling with my local dev environment, I give up and delete it all. I go right back to on-server development "the old fashioned way". WHY!? WHY IS THIS SO HARD?
I'm stepping on rakes here and about to quit. I'm probably just too OLD and STUPID for all these stacks and frameworks and tools and maybe even for this career now. I should probably quit and become a "facilities manager" at a tech firm somewhere, cleaning up the bathrooms and sweeping floors and watching all these young geniuses tut-tut about "Poor StackODev. I hear he had 24 years as a web developer, but then he snapped and he's never been the same."1
Well here I go my first rant.
A little bit of background:
So I started working my first job a little over a month ago. found devrant about a week in. I was lucky that at a very young age I found programming and liked it (about 6 or 7). I went to college just to get a degree (bachelors of game development).
The job that was a "Great" opportunity that would be bad to let slip by (not a game dev job sadly). Well during the interview they asked me simple thing like what programming languages I know and some simple stuff like that, they never did ask me to demonstrate my knowledge though. Then they went to the weirder questions.
Do you know SQL? yeah at a very base level.
Do you know Excel? I mean I used is a bit, but not very much.
A few of the questions felt a little out of place for the field, But it was the only "programming job" that would hire an experienced junior developer, so I took it. Guess I should have asked more questions.
Now I'm here at a job to help replace someone who is retiring. He wasn't a programmer really, but he wrote some code out of necessity well his platform of choice was VBA in Excel. Oh, and that's not the best part, he also dealt with mistakes that happen in the lab (electronics shit). So when ever there is a fuck up I have to go figure out how to search a poorly designed database (that is constantly changing), and today is the day he leaves, so no more help after today. My biggest fear currently is that I wont be able to fill a request that someone makes and I'll be the reason the company is losing money. And with all the stress/burn out that's building up I haven't been working on personal projects, which being my main source of entertainment might be making me depressed. Even when I do work up the effort to work on my projects I don't get very much entertainment. (If anyone has a suggestion for this that would be helpful.)
TIL: Even if the job is a great opportunity don't stop searching and ask a lot of questions.2
Suppose I wanted to apply A.I. or deeplearning to a very simple marketing activity I have in mind...
What's my learning curve looking like? I'm a backend programmer with roughly 3-4 years
experience in laravel/php right now. I've used
almost every inch of that framework.
Just curious. And any path anyone would suggest? thanks3
Hi. I'm not really a developer but I soon hope to be. But the first thing I need to know is programming, which I know next to nothing about. I've tried my hand at simple Python but with so many articles and YouTube videos saying all sorts of languages are "The best to learn" or "A must know code language", I really don't know what to do. Hopefully someone here can help me the figure out which language is the best for a beginner programmer.12
So I have a programming question that has always stopped me from making so much. I wanna make stuff in the terminal like Conways game of life and simple games but I don't know how I would track everything like or how to set up the map/board and how everything moves and just all that.. does that make me a bad programmer? I'm fairly new but still..
And no I dont wanna Google it I'm trying to work on being social even if it's online4
When I'm trying to sleep, I get such a surge of motivation that makes think I'm such an amazing programmer and that I can build anything. When I wake up and try to get shit done, I make 476 errors in a simple "Hello world" program. 😑
Whenever I laugh about these engineers who can only 'code' in Matlab...
Whenever I hear people consider configuring (of stuff like WordPress or RGB-Keyboard-Lights etc.) as 'programming'...
I wonder, if I'm just like the 'Real Programmers' back in 1983 who truly considered Fortran or Assembly to be much more superior than Pascal and someone who coded in the latter or even used a simple OS like UNIX couldn't get accepted as a programmer.
Found that old article about "Real Programmers".
It's worth a read.
Just consider someone writing modern computer programs without libraries, ifs, for loops and only gotos by hand from top to bottom...
Some day I want to start some modern project everyone else would do in some random modern scripting language and hack it down in assembly just for fun and to tell people, I did it. So I could call myself a Real Programmer too.2