I cannot even begin to describe the rollercoaster of emotions I just went through. I'm on the train, the prompt says next station !my_station. By then the sign says my_station. So I rush off the train. I feel the lightness of a heavy weight lifted off my shoulders... And realise I'm missing my laptop bag, the heavy weight that should be on my shoulders. So I rush to the station office and describe everything about my bag and what's in it and the seat I was in. The guy can't get through to the conductor but the train will be back at this station in 30 minutes. I head home quickly because it's nearby and my fiance offers me a lift back to the station on her car. Suddenly we're running late. She's running red lights. I'm not going to make it. It's 2 minutes past arrival time. But the train is 3 minutes late! I'm running along the platform looking into the carriages for my bag but unable to see much, panicking. The platform is empty. The train. Is going to leave. Except for one lonely figure walking down with a bag in their hands. The conductor gives me my rucksack, tells me it's really heavy and heads back to his duties. I thank him and head back to the station office to thank the man on duty also. Fuck me that was scary.

Ok so I've been working on this bug for the past four days, fucking non-stop. I wanted to fucking die, was wishing I could just "pkill -f mylife". I tried fucking everything, did what the documentation told me to, stack overflow, tried different versions of the API, read through more lines of documentation than lines in the bible, to no avail. Start comparing screenshots of error logs from the past four days, notice that I started getting a line saying that it's connecting to the config file in a different location from default. I realize that the config file does not match the config file provided by the package installed, so I switch it to the default location. IT FUCKING WORKED, I've tested it nearly 10 times now and I am still in disbelief. It was a rollercoaster of emotions fixing the bug but now I'm just smiling like a fool in my chair at work now.

What are the chances that you get busted by your manager and 3 team leaders you personally know when you are going to a job interview?

We have poor men’s silicon valley near universities. Our company’s one office moves to another university. By the one in a million luck, interview takes at the same building where our next office of my current company will be. Managers and team leaders are there to inspect the new office. I enter the building, see them near elevator. One of them see me, with panic i wave my hand to him. There is a distance of ten meters, I hide behind a column. The team leader who sees me waving thinks I am with them to inspect new office. He asks others why am I not coming with them as I learn later. I can not pretend to play along and catch up with them, due to panic and time of interview is soon already. They get into elevator and finally I dont have to hide anymore 😂.

I got into interview and c++ exam with that physcology. Little did they knew that I just completed CPP PRIMER book. I both rock interview and exam but lets see if they will return with a job offer. What a rollercoaster of emotions.
Note: I am on mobile now so can not give more juicy details for now, fingers are tired.

I love coding, but there are some days when it drives me absolutely crazy. Like when I spend hours trying to debug a single line of code, only to realize that the problem was actually something completely different.

Or when I'm working on a project and I'm pretty sure I know what I'm doing, only to discover that there's a better, faster, and more elegant way to do it. It's like my entire codebase is taunting me: "You thought you were good at this, didn't you?"

But you know what? Despite all of the frustrations and setbacks, I keep coming back to coding. Because there's nothing quite like the feeling of finally getting that piece of code to work, or seeing your project come together in a way that you never thought possible.

Coding can be a rollercoaster of emotions, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Here's to all the developers out there who know what it's like to ride that coding rollercoaster, and who keep coming back for more.

#Suphle Rant 11: Laravel board launch

The launch took almost 2 weeks more than originally slated, because I sought to install it manually, just as an outsider would. Installation steps had been documented, automated tests for the installation tests were passing. When time came to actually execute the binary from the terminal, we went from one obstacle to the other. First, were the relatively minor Composer/Roadrunner issues, eventually resolved by the helpful RR maintainers who sat with me through a Discord server for about 2 hours until their command ran the way I needed it to.

Next was the Psalm scare: One of my value propositions was the guarantee of eliminating all type related bugs in Suphle apps. I intended to use Psalm for that. Wrote tests as usual. Turns out the library behaves differently under conditions differing from raw CLI usage. I resurrected threads I'd opened since December that were left unattended, and with some help from the maintainer, we eventually got it to do what I need it to do.

I was all the more frightened by the fact that Transphporm had caused me to renege on one of my earlier promises. I can only miss so many targets. After this, the docs had to be updated with all the changes effected to accurately integrate those two. Project installation and initialization commands were ran rigorously to ensure all progresses smoothly.

Tagged one final release and suddenly became impatient to launch on our local Laravel group chat where I've been a member for the last 4+ years, where we've had a rollercoaster of emotions. In that time, I've refined my launch speech to suit that audience -- obviously, countless times. Not just a tame "It's my pleasure to announce what I've been working on", but near 40 messages going into details about the inner workings, why it was built, how it compares. An expose that dove deeper than I would anywhere else.

I scheduled a time for them to tune in and got some encouraging anticipation. Ended up deflated after posting the whole thing. Only about 5 persons interacted. 1 (who I've chatted with outside the board) was quite enthusiastic. Feverishly checked the docs but commented it was overwhelming and he'd need more time. Already starred the repository.

For some context, there are give or take 250 members on that board. Not all are active but activity there easily reaches a crescendo when the topic discussed is about inanities like what 3rd party services to use for SMS, how to receive salaries from abroad, or job openings. I was optimistic when the acquaintance mentioned above published a payment library and met a riotuous welcome as one of their own. Maybe, they are simply not fond of me and the speech should have been passed off to someone else.

I checked Packagist installs -- not more 10. For 3 years, I'd been hyped up for that night; but for some reason, the audience I considered myself closest to flopped, woefully. Thankfully, this isn't the main launch. I'm still holding out hope for that. If it fails, I would have sunk an immeasurable amount of effort and time, that nobody will compensate me for. That is the one place I go to see those more advanced than me in PHP. I constantly learn there and find stimulating conversations there.

Now, I can no longer predict reception from other presentations. All I can do now is hope

Developing plugins for IntelliJ is a very cool thing most of the time. I mean they made an amazing job building the infrastructure for messaging and so on.

But some things are not really documented, you have to go through existing code or search for javadoc.

So its like half of the time you feel amazing while coding and then you need something not that obvious and you are stuck with an easy task. After some hour of frustation you find a cool way to solve it and the show goes on.

Its like driving in a rollercoaster of (coding) emotions. But that makes it feel like an adventure or sth ...

what. fucking. day.

my ex blonde whore got mentally,

T O R M E N T E D.

ripped apart.

absolute, psychological, Destruction.

a great, great Evil, is gonna be born out of what ive done

worse than frankenstein evil

and this evil, will be spread across the entire world

it will infect and affect, you

i cannot imagine how fucked up the future is going to become

this day is completely FUCKED and i cannot wait for the moment till this shit is over

what happened?

too much random fucking bullshit happened! this day is as random as it can fucking get

warning: you'll gonna get a headache reading this fucking rollercoaster of emotions

1) worked

2) was angry at my ex blonde whore cause she doesnt want to block the fuckboy she cheated on me with

3) told her this. argued with her. shes stubborn and doesnt want to block him

4) i blocked her everywhere (for 500th fucking time). this time including ig. she cried at work. barely could focus

5) after work from a fake acc i saw she posted MY fucking bmw

6) second story she posted SITTING INSIDE OF MY FUCKING BMW WITHOUT MY FUCKING PERMISSION

7) WHAT THE FUCK. MAD AS FUCK, I called her on phone asap. she answered. i said i wanna talk. she wanted to go out for coffee. fuck that. lets go to her place. she asked u wanna fuck me. i said i fucking do. im horny too, she said

8) came over. fucked her. discussed. talked. argued afuckinggain. unblocked. i pretended ig glitched out and i saw that story. told her who the fuck u think u is to steal my fucking key of my bmw and sit in my fucking brand new bmw?!!! WHORE

9) then fucked her again. but cuddled her kissed her gently, she said "you're such a fucking mentally ill maniac", while smiling hugging me and kissing me. she loves The Joker type of guy who fucks with her emotions. "you give me rollercoaster of emotions" she said. when she went in shower to wash off my cum i grabbed her phone and blocked her fuckboy she cheated on me with (shes secretly in love with him)

10) when she saw this her whole fucking mood swapped. 180. asked why did u go through my phone. i said why did you fucking steal my bmw key and sit inside of it

11) now we're even. i crossed the red line and blocked your fucktoy from your phone and you crossed the red line stealing my fucking key of an expesnive car and sitting inside it at 7:30am while i was sleeping. Fuck you WHORE

12) she sent the pics of my fucking bmw to chatgpt and asked how much this car costs so she estimates how rich i fucking am. This relation is BEYOND FUCKING TOXIC AND LETHAL THAN YOU CAN IMAGINE

13) "now that hes blocked can you drive me in ur bmw now for the first time" she asked. i was resistent. I FUCKING blocked him not YOU, whore. and you're giving me an attitude now. she looked at me angry, deadly, the look of "im gonna do you dirty for this i promise". fuck that whore

14) at the end i said i can drive u only under the condition that he remains blocked forever

15) deal. i repeated the fucking seriousness of this numerous times. its gonna get more fucked and toxic if she ever unblocks him. we agreed so i drove the bitch whore for first time. she was amazed of my bmw

16) when i thought it was all over and i can relax, as we were driving ANOTHER BITCH CALLED ME ON MY PHONE. AND HER NAME AND NUMBER WAS DISPLAYED ON THE BMW SCREEN. FUUUUUUUUUUUCK. please

17) i completely forgot that i set up a coffee meeting with this new bitch. (this new bitch is fat and ugly btw i just wanted to go out with her cause she has good personality and wanted to talk random stuff so i shift my mind off blonde ex whore)

18) blonde ex whore was not happy. asked me who is that. FUCK. i said some random girl

19) i left my blonde whore home. kissed. then went over with that new girl for a drink. talked. drove her. blond ex attacked me who is she, and to give her phone number so she calls her to check what she has to do with me. FUCK!!!

20) as i was sitting with that new girl i had to explain her all this bullshit. embarrassed. belittled. fuckwd up. whilw i was explaining my blonde whore found her ig and told me to tell her everything or else shes blocking me.

21) the blonde whore blocked me! everywhere! lol. for the first time ever. fuck off. now she knows how i felt, betrayed!

22) fucked up. blonde ex wrote to new girl why did she call me and what do we have between each other cause shes my gf. WHAT FUCKING GF YOU DUMB BITCH YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON ME!!!!! FUCK YOU

23) i told this new girl to write her she needed me for college cause I'm an IT guy and they dumb af dont know how to use word or excel

24) blonde ex bought it (i think)

25) when i got home i called my blonde whore on phone. she answered. her voice seemed like she overdosed on drugs. "did u fuck that girl" she asked. No. i was riding my bmw.

26) explained her the new girl is ugly and just wanted college help. i wouldnt fk her (truth). ex whore unblocked me and said she wants me to cuddle her tomorrow and sleep in bed