During the last couple of days, I got to hear quite a horrible story...

So we start at the beginning, where I have a dev-related chat with some other strangers on the internet. One of them was working on a custom protocol implementation with an API to go with it, written in Python. There were plans to migrate the codebase to another language like Rust in the long term. So the project seemed to be going well.

Another guy and the main subject of this chimed in on various of our messages, and long story short - he uses Express.js for everything he does, and he doesn't know jack shit on what he's talking about. Yet he still does.

Later we got the delight to hear that he had beaten up his mother, and that she's now in the hospital because of it, with broken arms, hands, fingers and severe bleeding. Yet he has the audacity to complain about his sore throat, caused by all his shouting. He refuses to seek any help, or to take medicines he's been given. This has been going on for several days now.

As much as I hate to even think about it, these too are "developers". I too have skeletons in my closet, but goddamn.. that these people even exist. The very idea that you may be talking to them every day. It disgusts me.

Cadavers? Illegal.
Skeletons? Sure, $6000.

you can just buy a real skeleton for $6k and it's legal in 47 states.

Strippin' and renovatin' my kitchen,
Finding skeletons in the walls,
They drilled right through powered wire,
When central heating was installed.

3 more screw-pierced wires
Hiding behind the dry-wall,
how the hell was this certified?
Amateurs

Got to scratch of one of three remaining old (14years and counting) design mistakes this week.

Together with a colleague we replaced a 1.5 billion row table that I out of ignorance then designed with a 3 column composite primary key instead of an identity column.

Moving the data while keeping all synchronized (the table gets up towards 2 million new rows and 2 million updates a day while constantly being queried) took 1 week.

Just 2 skeletons left to clean out, any year now ;).

Updating skeletons in PyCharm seems like the Gradle of Python in terms of loading speed

So I've been hired as a senior software developer with all the tags included (mentoring, innovating, pushing forward changes) for a company that is trying to move away from waterfall development (yup, it's 2019 and this exists) to a more iterative workflow.
I was initially hired and sent out to do some "field work" abroad for 3 months and then worked "remotely" from the local office with our field partners.
During all this time it seemed that my ideas go through smoothly, there was a lot of chatter about how things are moving forward, how new projects, innovations and new methodologies are implemented.
And yet, after my "remote" work has finished and I have to do things locally more, all of the skeletons fell out. It's just talk, nothing seems to be changing at all and yet any attempts to talk with the brass is like hitting a brick wall.
Not only that, I've been handed a 12 year old project with no possibility to refactor, no technical documentation, very few comments and in a terrible style.
The atmosphere in the company is odd as hell. People are either not very initiative, nor they seem to really care about all of the "changes" that "should be happening".
It almost feels that I've arrived in a company that still lives in 2007 more or less.
Should I quit, or perhaps it's a little "too soon" (have spent 7 months in the place already)? What I don't want is to get in the same train again (work for a company for 8 - 12 months, feel burned out because of the divergence between actual things done and "plans" and then change the job).

Why don't skeletons ride roller coasters? They don't have the stomach for it.

It's going to be horrible if God was a JavaScript developer. We'll only be created as skeletons and have to run some commands like
npm install brain
npm install body

Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

So my school forces me to take a partner in my project. I build him skeletons, give him examples and wait to see what he'll do. He was supposed to do CRUD for text messages in SQL database. In the update and delete functions, he does this:

UPDATE Message SET (values) ...
WHERE username=@username

Yup ...

I have an army of skeletons following me around. So why can't I hold all these fucking chipped gems.

Let me tell you, I have never been so glad to get the Horadric Cube. My stash was full of the shit, had to offload to a fucking mule. ATMA for life bitch.

And Duriel, I'm coming for that ass.

Legacy code: the digital equivalent of a haunted house. Each line of code holds the ghostly whispers of past developers, and every bug fix feels like exorcising demons. Welcome to the developer's graveyard, where the skeletons of outdated tech lurk in every commit. 💀👻

Why don't skeletons fight each other?

Because they don't have the guts!

Hello good people i need someones help... i want to build an online teaching website for practice ... like treehouse or pluralsight but a much more lightweight version.
I dont know how to start ;

Which skeletons to use.
Which cms do i choose if necessay.
Should i use node.
Should i use react.
Where do i host it.
Why do i need each point mentioned.
What else do i need.

I learn a lot my self but i really need direction on this one .. its my first big project.

I intend being a freelancer.

I could also do with mentorship from anyone willing here.....!!!!

So as these people can see we can wait them out and we’re both gonna be skeletons collecting dust

Budge asshole
Sit at the goddamn table and budge on expectations or the deadline will be passed !

A small instant cocoa package. Pink and blue. It said “Mine. Autonomous. Immaculate.” My sister gave it to me. It was made from human female skeletons, because you can't make them from male ones. Eat it as-is, or dissolve it in milk. It tastes like ketone bodies.