*Laughs in Backend*

Media Transfer Protocol (MTP) starter pack

Bond paper supply is coming, print that code EOD 🤣

!!fml

"Root, go fix this bug. It'll take you two days."

The "bug" is a feature that was never implemented for one particular payment type.

The code in question is two years old, full of typos, smells, junior-isms, and is convoluted AF. The feature's commit touched 190 files and implemented many other features as well. Thus far, I have been unable to narrow down where this particular feature's code lives for the other payment types, nor which code or payment paths lead to it. Burned out, I can barely focus on the screen, let alone follow its many twisting and dynamically-inferred paths. I hint as to the ticket's scavenger hunt nature during standup.

"But I wrote comments on the ticket telling you exactly where to look to fix it," Thundercunt admonishes in front of the team.

"Sure, you did," Root replies. "You reworded what the original dev had said in the comments 20 minutes prior, and agreed with him. His comments were helpful, but it doesn't tell me how any of it works," she continues.

TC scoffs and closes the meeting.

Root stares blankly, seeing neither code nor screen, questions her life decisions, and recalls the previous tickets she has worked on: nearly every one of them busywork, fixing other people's bugs. Bugs she never could have gotten away with if she tried.

"Why do I put up with this?" She asks. "They don't care, and it's killing me."

But the bills remain, and so must she.

"Fuck my life" she finally decides.

Companies: We can’t find any senior developers to hire.

Also companies: We pay seniors like juniors.

As a German developer living in Germany, I am used to write my code completely in English. In all of my former companies that was also the norm. In one company, we even talked completely in English with each other to a point where even if only German people where in a room, they would default to English at one point in a conversation because it became second nature to us.

(That company was very international and we had a lot of people from all over the world working there.)

Now, I work at a new German company that focuses on the German market. And for some reason I failed to ask them:

Do you write your code in English?

Because that's the norm, isn't it!? I just assumed it to be the case.

Nope! This time it is a mess of German and English term intermixing in glorious abysmal ways I never thought possible.

Sometimes we translate terms, sometimes we don't. So you have to wrap your mind around collections of words that COULD mean the same thing unless they don't. Best case, you have two words for the same thing, but I've seen up to five words (or abbreviations) to describe one business entity. Madness.

And don't get me started on the plurals. In English, it's almost exclusively: add an `s`.

In German, the singular and plural can be the same (e.g. all nouns ending with `-er`) so tough luck determining if you are on an object or an array of objects. (Weak typing language in use does not help either but that's an entirely different rant.)

Apart of the fact that WordPress itself is one big hack, my most creative hacky solution was making it (dev) environment friendly.

First, I created a DB pull and push tool in NodeJS (on TypeScript). Then, because WP is so clever and stores internal URLs in full length in the DB, I had to create a DB migrator (find & replace) and attached it to the DB pull task.
After this, of course WP still has its config in one file, so I used composer to install phpdotenv and filled the config with environment variables.
Bundled with some good ol' Gitlab CI/CD magic, the website is now 10% sanely developable.

It feels like having to shovel piles of shit, but with a golden shovel. Everything stinks as hell but at least there is a tiny bling to it, temporarily.

But in all seriousness: WordPress is a god damn fucking pile of tumors!

When I didn't have to rely on Google or Stackoverflow

Bugfix I am most proud of?
The ones where I dont just fix a bug, but refactor an old (possibly shitty) feature thanks to new knowledge, making the next person's job easier in the process :)

Every time you squash a bug before someone else even sees it...

Lead: "There's a bug, you fix"
Me: "The PR for that has been waiting for your review since yesterday..."

Just discovered "channel bonding".. I couldn't put myself to sleep for 3 hours, even though it was 3 in the night.

Me: opens the log file for some answers

Log file:

Every time when I spend hours of thinking, investigations and experiments to find a solution to a problem...

And it ends up with a one line change in the git commit.

Always a strange feeling.

Refactoring my old code, ayy lmao the cringe...

This is my life

Security tester: Injects XSS into a rich text editor and flags it for a vulnerability.

"Oh that's fine, let's just disable right click on our page so no one can inspect the page and inject anything."

...

My boss ladies and gentlemen.

If a picture of a screen is called a Screenshot what is a video of a screen called?

debugger

This is what happens when you hire a philosophy major.

Don't think I have said NO to anyone as much as I have done to YouTube premium !!!

Uber Driver: What do you do, Sir?
Me: I'm an Engineer. What about you?
Uber Driver: I'm a Uber Driver.
Me: :/

I love it when recruiters write personal messages and use my real name ❤️

so many good memories... =)

FUCK

PRESSED CTRL+C IN THE WRONG TERMINAL

BYE BYE HOURS OF WAITING 😞

Today I learned:

`/usr` stands for “universal system resources” not “user”

`/dev` stands for “device” not “development”

Had no idea.

Watching Documentaries,
PBS spacetime ect...

Reading about neurology and drugs. I just find it fascinating how many compounds are there that alter the state of brain and their uses.

UTF-8 gone wrong

Exactly

Not a coding test, but:

Them: So you are interviewing for a programmer opening. Do you like programming?

Me: yes.

Them: do you make logos?

Me: ...I can...?

Them: good because you won't always be writing code here.

Me: I'm out.