modern relationships

friend of mine: "I like my servers like I like my girls"
me: "insecure?"

As a google fan boy this makes me very uncomfortable...

Guys, I think it's time to fight back!

Whenever a client ask you about IE9 support, tell him to find someone else, because noone the fuck uses IE9 and if someone somehow does, then it's his fault!

Then he will search for other dev, but if we all do so, we can forget about supporting stupid old shit again!

🤔🤔

the advantage of dating a non-dev: she thinks I'm incredibly smart when I describe what I'm working on, when in reality I have no clue what I'm doing 🙃

My friend sent me this.

So yet another follow up rant on the Linux job hunting! (yes hello this is @linuxxx).

Got send a list with questions (for candidate screening) and was literally mentally preparing to answer all the questions (I expected shit like Linux commands, kernel stuff etc etc).

Then I saw the questions. Mother of god.

1. Have you ever worked with a Linux distro and if yes, which one(s)?

😶. Uhm I expected some more difficult stuff.

2. Have you ever worked with a hosting interface like CPanel etc?

😶😶. Alright I should adjust my view on the difficulty level of these questions.

And so it went on and on. I think I make a pretty good chance 😆.

I'll hear more at Monday and if all is good then I will get an interview through Skype with their American office!

-Why you don't use WordPress for every client? It's less work same money.

- because f#*k you.

Git Bowl

I don't understand this. How is that Facebook is one of the biggest company in the world and have the worst fucking mobile apps ever created. I just use messenger to talk with my mom and it's utter rubbish.

When a call arrives, there's no way to silence that call apart from setting the phone to mute. All the other apps shut up when you either click power button or volume button. But this fucking messenger piece of Satan's anus won't respond to any fucking button when I have a call.

Not only that, once you have received the call, there's no way you can rotate the app without ending the call, turning on auto rotate and call again. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? how the fuck is it that you're so fucking big but you don't have this simple features in your fucking app?

And yeah, most of the time, when I receive a call in mobile, it doesn't appear on the desktop website. If it does and I receive the call from there, the mobile app still keeps shouting. AND GUESS WHAT, at that point, if I reject the call from the mobile, it will end the call that I accepted from the desktop. HAHA, WHAT A FUCKING SURPRISE.

Facebook, please stop being a piece of shite. Put your goddamn money to good use. If you can't make a good app, maybe outsource it to other companies. They will do a better job than you.

Sums up our current job at work - a rushed redesign of a rushed web app.

Definitely not malware!

Just printed "Hello World", time to put Python on my resume! 😎

Oh but I insist ...

Don't ever try writing code on a long flight. People LOSE THEIR SHIT.

Stolen from an awesome book but my new favourite line ;)

Someone: “Can you repair my computer， it`s not working anymore?”

Me: “Do you call Leonardo Dicaprio when your Tv is broken?”

I hate all of these rants about JavaScript being a terrible language.

In reality, it's one of the easiest languages to work with. This makes it easier for new programmers to write messy code, but is it the language's fault?

People get mad about the things that happen when you multiply "undefined" and a string...what do you expect?

You also have the freedom to choose from a variety of tools the community has created to solve existing problems. People just don't realize that they don't *have* to learn everything, you just learn as you need them.

Don't blame JavaScript for you bad programming, terrible type conversion needs, and great tooling.

Valve deployed a CS:GO update this Friday, guess what. It had quite a few bugs.

Never deploy on a Friday, please.

Fuck all these CSS frameworks using Jquery as their dependency. Cross-browser my ass.

I am going full flexbox.

Programming is like sex:

One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

The worst Code I saw was

if (value != null ) {
return value;
} else {
return null;
}

I love to help people, with the easiest possible solution 😍😍😍

Watched so many tutorials recently, my inner English voice started having an Indian accent!

I wrote a complex method for about 6 hours. Then I decided to test it via a console application...

It didnt print any output. After 2 hours of searching for errors I found the mistake: I never called the method. Guys... that's how you waste 2 hours of your life.

Cable porn

The three most dangerous things in the world are a programmer with a soldering iron, a hardware engineer with a software patch, and a user with an idea 😐

Started using the pipe " | " on the keyboard

Teacher : use"ransomware" in a sentence
Student : I used to know a girl, but then she ransomware
Whole class :

True evil