A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

WHY THE HELL DOESN'T THIS METHOD WORK??!11!?? Oh, I never called it yet ._.

Apple has Air
Amazon has Fire
Google has Earth
Microsoft should really create something called Water

Certain developers allocated memory before it was cool. they where called heapsters.

Coworker: "Have you heard of imposter syndrome?"

Me: "In your case it's just called incompetence"

The horror that is nowadays called "Skype for business"

This should not be called wisdom teeth, should be called stupid teeth
Mother fucker is growing perpendicular.

What fuck is wrong with you bro , grow upwards you dumb fuck!!

I wrote a complex method for about 6 hours. Then I decided to test it via a console application...

It didnt print any output. After 2 hours of searching for errors I found the mistake: I never called the method. Guys... that's how you waste 2 hours of your life.

45 minutes into a technical presentation called "Architecture Meets Design", I realized the guy built houses.

Just spotted a public WiFi called "Martin Router King".

I have a stream.

It's called code

One day I am going to open a bar called 'foo'

I used up all my sick days... So I called in dead

There is a band called 1023Mb. They haven't got any gigs yet.

Some guy just called it "Jithub"

Never heard of that before

I wrote 2 dozens of if else statements
...
...

They called it AI.

I don't have friend called "null"

Our scrum master is called ScrumBag in our department xD

My friend called me for help with her CSS. I was like no problem go to Teamviewer.com and install that software. 10 mins later she called saying teamviewer didn't fix her code. I'm done!

Yesterday I learned that the ternary operator is also called "Elvis operator"

If a new drug would be called VIM, noone would be able to quit

An acquaintance (also a CS student) just called C#, c hashtag ಠ_ಠ

Satan called. He wants my upvotes.

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict. :|

To tell someone that you’re wrong is called CRITICISM

To do it officially is called TESTING

🤣🤣🤣🤪🤪🤪

- Anonymous

This app should have been called programmers anonymous

Someone just called me a hipster for using Ubuntu o_O

Friend: "Wow! Is it a Raspberry PI?"
Me: "It's another version called Banana, but yes."
Friend: "I want one too for the games!"
Me: "OK, it's easy. There's a ROM called Retro ..."
Friend stare at me intensively
Me: "Sigh... Ok, I'll setup it for you..."

Maybe this in real life would be called United States of America :P

My mother just called our Google home the github.

The 2014's called, they want their private server back!

Source: CommitStrip

I always called deprecated... Depreciated

😓

We all have gaps in knowledge 😔

Apparently "Want to meet my rubber duck?" is an acceptable phrase only in the developer community.

"I want blah blah blah and I need it now! There's a commercial expression called TIME TO MARKET!"

And there's a programming expression called TIME TO DEVELOPMENT, you stupid brick.

The client just called

Bugs.... Never underestimate them

A group of programmers is called a merge conflict.

Opens Facebook
Sees ad: "this machine uses AI to make pizza bread".
Closes Facebook
Goes back to sleep

Developers being called resources. I can't stand it.

Imagine an app called PMrant where they rant about us 😆

When you're called in to fix another developer's terrible work.

This is called efficient solution...

Fun fact: master’s degree is now called main degree

Wish the web framework for Python was called Airlines. So, it could be called snakes on a plane.

-could you please stop texting?
-it's called devRanting

Helped the designer fix a small JavaScript problem. She called me a God.

I'll take it.

Wake me up when there's something called "Android Studio Lite"

The latest discovery in my learnings, this symbol " # " is actually called an Octothorpe.

Why isn't 21:9 simply called 7:3

This little part of my life is called happiness.

The support staff at the Apple stores are called "geniuses". If being able to factory reset an iPhone is called being a genius then call me Einstein for being able to write code.

YouTube, I called it. I freaking called it! This is an old story, it was back when Cryptominer via browser became a thing.

Me: "How long do you thing it will take until YouTube advertisements will contain cryptominer?"

IT WAS A F*CKING JOKE YOUTUBE, I DIDN'T KNOW YOUR ADVERTISEMENT POLICIES ARE REALLY THAT BAD!

A month later, after I said it to an friend, I had increased lags with literally anything I was doing. After some days of research (because I didn't pay that much attention to it at first), I could pin down the cause to my YouTube tab in my browser (because I listen to 24/7 music livestreams). And I was like:

Me: "I bet this is because of cryptominer. I bet this is because of cryptominer."

Guess what. About two weeks later YouTube confessed. Cryptominer ads were possible.

I wonder how much money these companies made...

programming should be called "making searches in StackOverflow"

Once, i accidentally created a directory, called '~'.
I were this afraid, of deleting something.

Its been a while nobody has called me to repair his/her computer.

Well no one has called me that before.

why is it called male and female connectors ....... hardware knowledge sharing session

Who called them coffee shop renovations instead of java updates?

I never thought that 2 days of service downtime can be called a "minor glitch". 🤔

Hey guys have you heard about that band called 1023MB? They haven't had a gig yet.

So called my ISP because of slow internet
Me : Hey , slow connection
Him : Could you open up CMD
Me : I'm on linux
then the dude hangs up :/ another guy called later , I guess the tech support needed tech support , FML

This guy has a weird sense of system security if he thinks an SSH MOTD will keep unauthorised people away. Because you know, setting SSH permissions would be too sensible.

At my job, we literally have a stored procedure called "DoNotRun_WillDeleteEverything" :S

do {
try
} catch {
// This block probably never gets called.
}

"BOYYYYY, WAS I WRONG"

There’s a band called 1023 MB. They haven’t had a gig yet.

When you have boolean problems with your code, it's called boolshit.

I just found that there is a country in Switzerland called 'Root'

Idea: a markdown editor called WRITEME

What on earth is so "regular" about the so-called regular expressions?!

Debug heaven!

Store is called Aqua Duck Store, found it on vacation in Amsterdam

Fun fact — Rocket League is basically the game from 1977 called Car Polo.

I'm ignoring that he called Mick Mike.

The reason why it is called 'patch' ...

I like this scala library because it's called "cats" 🐱

programming fact.....
long time ago ,
the people who sacrificed their love,family,sleep,food,laughter and other joys of life were called
"saints"

now they are called "programmers"

Installed an app called Top Github.
Selected "Java" category in it.
Android
Android
Android
Android
Android
......

The so called star developers :D

This is why it’s called a “patch”.

I thought I taw a bug! Turns out they really are called Undefined 😅

*hits blunt*
The reason Americans can't code is because it's called kindergarten not grade 0

Why the Hell isn't the Iphone's battery life called "Apple juice"

When Play Store shows me a category called Discover Science...

Why its called Programmer when we aren't good at spelling.

Stuck in a loop called life. Where is the fucking return statement.

In early stages, c# was called "COOL", or c-like object oriented language.

My non-dev friend: What is this app about?
Me: The community who called # sharp.

Facts:
That there is a thing called "Constant Variable"

There’s a street near me called Flash Drive

A recruiter called me today asking if I was interested in his position of "Cloud Person"

I like how in every other profession if something doesn't work it's called a mistake or a fuck-up but in software development it's called a bug and it is absolutely expected.

Son: I've done good investment in Bitcoins

Dad: What is the rate of interest in Bitcoins?

Son: There is no such thing called rate of interest in Bitcoins. Bitcoins are virtual currency. It's kind of money itself.

Dad: So you gave money and got back money? It's not called as an investment. It's called getting change!

I started a band called "999 Megabytes", be we ain't get no gigs yet.

I'm starting a band called 1023MB. I don't think we'll ever get a gig.

It's called VS code because it always u vs ur terrible code

YouTube: SPENDING 24 HOURS IN PRISON CHALLENGE (GONE WRONG) (GONE SEXUAL) (COPS CALLED)

devRant: SPENDING 24 HOURS STRAIGHT ON DEVRANT TELLING EVERYONE THAT APPLE IS BAD AND MY SECURITY IS BETTER (GONE WRONG) (DATA BREACHED) (DFOX CALLED)

What if Apple creates a search engine called iSearch ?

Dealing with all the customers, and so called "Web Developers" is making me än alcoholic.

One of our clients is called Skynet. Should I be worried?

Best quote of the conference: If you are writing code without using TDD it's called developing if you are using TDD it's called engineering

that's what is called to $urf the hype wave ;)

Tip: If you try to show LaTeX to someone and you want to show them examples, don't use the images of your search engine of choice for the examples unless you put "formula" next to it.

My teacher at least understood, lul.

It's such a missed opportunity that Al gore could've created a band and called it 'Algorhythm'

Facebook now wants your financial data. I fucking called it.

They should make an animated movie about a computer program flaw called "A bug's life"

The world is talking about AI, self-driving cars, big data, IOT and there are roboter driving around on Mars.
And here I stand, trying to figure out why a small change in a silly batch-script works on Windows7 and raises an error on Windows XP.
In 2020.

Is this what's called a firewall?

The sound/lights guys at the place called us the vidiots :P

Now that's called coincidence

That guy who called in sick yesterday and turned up with a new haircut today...

Programming is an ART
Programmers are also to be called artists

Shout out to the guy who called some job ads "Santa's Wishlist".

Today in my dreams I saw the thing called “WINDOWS REMORSE CENTER”.

I found a FREE and fast web hosting guys, I'm excited, it's called localhost

My phone's WIFI hotspot is called "ThePromisedLANd".

I'm that sort of gal 😜

The ultimate bodge setup!
Uses a program called SpaceDesk - highly recommended!

So, german long distance trees are called ICE/IC (Intercity/-Express).
The wifi there, if any, is called WIFIonICE.
My stupid brain immediately thought of a musical with dancing routers and switches in tights.

I've been called a hippie for using Vim...

Why is it called shutdown and not shutup

To the people asking questions here,

it's called devRant for a reason.

Juat wondering, is PHP's double colon sign (::) still called pa'amayim nekudotayim?

There is a programming language called "I Use Arch btw", which is based on Brainfuck

This is called "programming efficiency"

There actually is a package in the android source code which is called foo.bar

Some epic software gore when someone called me right as I unlocked my phone

Windows subsystem for Linux should be called “why are you bothering with Windows?”

When Microsoft Edge was still called "Project Spartan"

"Distributed, Sustainable and Cloud Computing Lab called DISCO."

I'll just leave that here.

Found a function called WriteActualFile 😖

To confuse everyone, someone should make a programming language called Psuedocode

I've written two different real time audio resampling algos (called on source and called on target) using linear interpolation, both in typescript, both work on first try and both perform great. I feel like the omniscient god of web audio processing.

All our rants are just comments under a bigger rant called life.

CS major is fun until the devil called math arrives

Porn Aggregator called PORNCHAIN

damm, someone copied devRant.
It's called coding confession.

JS method names I still can't remember, even after 6 years of writing in it:

append is called concat,
any is called some,
all is called every,
contains is called includes

I always have to pause for a good long while or look it up when I need to use any of these is annoying, but my brain refuses to adapt to these names.

Fun fact: “zip folder” in the UK locale of Windows is called “postcode file”.

In building your avatar... there should be a shoulder pet called boss, please add this

It's true..we get paid horse shit compared to the so called "MBA" fuckers.

Today I learned: there's a license called WTF.

Wtf.

C'mon guys, it's called devRant for a reason.

One of my teammates called me mr. master fixer. I can't even fix this..... 😢😢

I feel called out

Just saved a co-worker by having an installer from 8 months ago in a folder called "desktop", 4 levels deep in folders called "desktop", all on my desktop. My hoarding habits finally saved the day!!!

Spotify just recommended me a band called "Windows 96". Interesting.

Long time ago, people who sacrificed their sleep, family, food, laught and other joys of life were called saints now, they are called programmers.

Hot take: motherboard is called motherboard because (almost) all its sockets are female.

Called someone Rat accidentally,
his name was Matt.

86 lines of code...duplicated 3 times in the same file...and only a single integer constant is different. This is the shit that makes my day to day work tedious.

Im glad I dont personally know the previous dev, he would get his throat punched...though calling him a dev is more of a compliment than he deserves.

i called 11pm-3am my "productive hours"

Perspective matters. It's a Hungarian chocolate called Sport#2, but what I can see from here...

Fuck starting the project, what's it going to be called?

This is what its called a long tail rant. It only took 23 days 🎉

When you find a method called GetCategoriesNewNew(). what does GetCategoriesNew() or GetCategories() do differently?!

Is it only me who wonders why the "iPhone X" is called "iPhone 10"?

I like my log messages to indicate automatically where in the code something happened, so that I can easily identify where a message originated from while tracking down problems.

In C/C++ this is nice and easy - write a logging routine, wrap it in macros for the different log levels and have that automatically output __FILE__, __LINE__ etc.

I wanted to do something similar in NodeJS, as I'd found myself manually writing the file name in the log message and then splitting functionality out into new files and it became a mess.

The only way I found to be able to do this was to create an "Error" object and access the "stack" member of it. This is a string containing a stack backtrace, suitable for writing to console/file. I just wanted the filename/line/routine.

So I ended up splitting the string into lines, then for each of the lines, trimming the surrounding spaces (or tabs?), and parsing them to see if the stack entry is inside my logger module. The first entry outside of that module must therefore be the thing that called it, so I then parse out the routine or object and method, filename and line number.

It's a lot of clumsy work but the output is pretty neat. I just wish it were simpler!

!rant

Disqualified just because of a stupid paper called degree :(

Spent 4 hours today, talking to 7 different people on the phone. All were interviews. There were even 2 where i called the hr and 20 minutes later the ceo/architect whatever called me to get the phone interview done fast. Im really fuckin exhausted.

Whats a programming language called that is compiled into another programming language called? Is it just a programming language or is it a specific type?

If only ther is a tv show called undefined is the new null

Should A developer who couldn’t afford a laptop be called a developer?

Oh no.
CalDAV server and client use the same DB table. Server expects a column to be called uri, client expects column to be called url.
FFFFUUUUUU

RIP Atleast he doesnt get called a "Script Kiddie"
😂😂😂😂😂

I called it TextPaste, or was it VidPaste 🤔. Anyways, it was an attempt to promote my laziness in copying code from YouTube videos or images by using text recognition. I called my coding style "Lazy Art," 😂. It was completed....sorta. I mean, it worked sometimes....

The art called "End of Sprint..."

Welcome back, devRant! :)

Time for some bad puns I made up with my coworker when we were stuck in traffic. Got any dev puns of your own? Share them here!

Why is it called Python if it isn't a snake?
Why is it called Ruby if I can't put it on my jewellery?
Why is it called Rust if it's so clean?
Why is it called Go if it stays in the same place?
Why is it called Perl if it's so ugly?
Why is it called C# if I can't write music with it?
Why can't I drink Java?

I guess Google Assistant is also called Siri...? For real tho, how retarded is Google Assistant?

So called UX/UI designers don't belong in the same room as a developer.

"Inspiration could be called inhaling the memory of an act never experienced." - Jonathan Lethem

The person who writes bad code is called noobgrammer

nothing like building a lead generation site in the advertising sector and then running a test through the site with an addblocker turned on.

It's called culture

I just came across a website where someone used a <marquee> *and* a <blink> tag. That was the most interesting thing that happened to me all week so far. Too bad (luckily) blink doesn't work anymore.

I'll tell you when I qualify to be called one. #impostor_syndrome

Yo why it gotta be called Manjaro and not Womanjaro?

In the future, Linux will be written in Rust and called Windows.

I've invented a cloud based watering system called Responsive Automatic Irrigation Network

Programmers also have where is waldo game. But it is called where is my effin semicolon.

This is just called good UX if you ask me.

We are all just objects in a Giant program called life

No one seems to realize that C was actually based on another language called B.

Maybe he should have called the app "find a girlfriend" 😁😬😕😢

Wondering how much will the bitcoin increase in value after this so called Golden Eye.

Foreigners called my name more perfectly than my countrymen pronounces .

Anyone here old enough to remember a subscription shareware service called “Big Blue Disk”?

Client called, they have enough budget to tap into a new audience 🤔 WHAT?!?!?!?!

There's a band called 1023MB.

They haven't gotten a gig yet.

Well, I guess the or symbol is also called a pipe. Learn something new everyday.

"You called me a chode gargling fuck toilet"

"We have a strategic plan. It’s called doing things. " - Herb Kelleher

There's a book called 'How to be always right', read it :3

Could someone please make a FaaS platform called Mr Meeseeks?

I find it highly amusing that Oracle's EPOS system is called "Oracle POS"

There is a car out there called Volkswagen Gol TOTAL FLEX. This is real.

There is a reason why it's called HEAD FIRST...

1000 yard stare? Excuse me, what? It’s called “being slick”.

Has anyone ever heard of a database called 4D?

So, today I got my first day of vacation. Amazingly I didn't get called yet, but I know the other Dev wasn't in today else.

Who wants to place bets I'm going to get called this week. Really bad that I'm already bracing myself :l

If this life was a movie it would be called: the slaves of the matrix

CAPTCHAs should be called gniruT tests since they do the opposite to the Turing testq

is there anyone uses ancient languange called COBOL here?

If you've ever given a directory the name 'files' or called a variable $variable ... FUCK YOU!

In the old days "hacking" was used for just about any coding, or "computer programming" as it was called back then. There was even a programming magazine called "Hacker", which had nothing to do with the "malevolous programming" that the word "hacker" has become to mean.

If you use lexically consistent Greek, “philosophers” should be called “sophophiles”.