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This story is 100% true.
I got hired onto a team of construction workers to build a house. We set up a meeting with Management to find out what kind of house they wanted us to build, where’s the floor plan, what it’s going to be used for, who it’s for, etc. Management said that they didn’t know all that, we should just get started. They told us that we were going to use “Agile” which means that we just work on small deliverables and build the thing incrementally.
The developer team lead argued that we at least need to know how big the thing is going to be so that we can get started pouring the foundation, but Management told him they just don’t know. “What we do know,” Management said, “is that the house is going to have a bathroom. Just start there, and we’ll know more when it’s done. You have two weeks.”
So we just bought a port-a-potty, and screwed around on the internet for two weeks. Management was outraged. “You call this a house? This is the worst house ever! It doesn’t even have a tv!”
So we bought a tv and put it in the port-a-potty, attached to an outdoor generator. We were going to buy a a dvd player and get it hooked up to cable, but Management rejected the expense request, saying that they didn’t know if we needed it, and we’d come back to that later.
Management decided that we definitely need storage space, so we bought a boxcar and duct-taped the port-a-potty to it. Then to our horror they set up some desks and put a few miserable business interns in there. It went on like this…
After a few years the boxcar grew into a huge, ramshackle complex. It floods, leaks, it’s frozen in the winter and an oven in the summer. You have to get around in a strange maze of cardboard tubes, ladders and slides. There are two equally horrible separate buildings. We’re still using just the one outdoor generator for all power, so electricity is tightly rationed.
Communication between the buildings was a problem. For one of them, we use a complex series of flag signals. For the other we write notes on paper, crumple the paper up, and toss it over. Both of these methods were suggested as jokes, but Management really liked them for some reason. The buildings mostly talk to each other but they have to talk through us, so most of what we do is pass messages on.
It was suggested that we use paper airplanes instead of crumpled up balls, but the fat, awkward fingers of the Business Majors who inevitably take those jobs couldn’t be trained to make them. I built an awesome automatic paper airplane folder, but once again they couldn’t be trained to use it, so they just went back to crumpling the notes up in balls.
The worst part of all this is that it’s working. Everyone is miserable, but the business is making money. The bright side is that this nightmare complex is done so now we know what kind of building they actually needed in the first place, so we can start work on it. Obviously we can’t tell Management anything about what we’re doing until it’s finished. They noticed the gigantic hole in the ground where the foundation is coming in, but we told them that it’s a cache reset, and they mostly ignore it except when the occasional customer falls in.
I’ll probably be out of here before the new building gets finished. I could get a 50% raise by switching jobs, but Management still doesn’t think I should get a raise because I missed a couple sprints.7 -
If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on ...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the Seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"10 -
On the last working day of our CEO.
CEO: As a software company, if we are to build an airplane would you ride on the airplane that we built?
Everyone was silent.
Me at the back of my head: I'll ride. I know for sure that the airplane will never start.9 -
A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers. The teacher walks in and asks this question:
"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane). One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"
Nine developers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?"
The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground, much less crash.4 -
working on front end is like looking both ways before crossing the street and then getting hit by an airplane1
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The first time writing code in an airplane was very uncomfortable. Everyone around me thought I was hacking the airliner.
I was writing HTML.3 -
A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers. The teacher walks in and asks this question:"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane). One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"Nine developers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?"The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground, much less crash."
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Windows 10 is asking me if I want to put my 5-8kg desktop computer in flight mode.
I'm now picturing my self looking for a power socket needing 650w in a airplane3 -
Working for an indian code sweatshop. The job you've got by bribing the University headmaster to give you a degree without ever attending class. Your uncle who worked at the sweatshop as a manager already gave you the job by bribing his boss.
After a half a year on the bench you've beeing sent off for a contract for the USA. You moved to Seattle where you've "coded" the software for the Boeing 737 Max Airplane. Your code downed 2 airplanes. You're responsible for the death of 350+ people. You're alone and the US is foreign to you and you're missing your mothers indian food. And you wish you could soothe your pain with some freshly pressed sugar cane drink and a jalebi from your favorite food joint back home.8 -
Tech startups, an analogy:
After 18 years going from help desk teams to NOC teams, telecom engineering and all manner of startups in between I have concluded the following:
Imagine wanting to start an aerospace company because you know how to fold a paper airplane, but not how to actually design and engineer an actual craft that will pass basic air worthiness checks.
That’s 99% of “tech” companies.
Discuss. I’ll make drinks.9 -
I thought meditation was more like putting myself in “airplane mode”. But in reality it felt more like a DDoS attack!
3 -
Day 256.
I've tried everything. Going on airplane mode, uninstalling everything but the essentials, blocking all other links on my internet except what I need. I got distracted by the undo feature from my IDE instead. FML. -
Just imagine what Boeing 737 max airplane system developers going through right now !!
When an error in the system can actually claims ppl Life.
Who want to be responsible for testing and approving such system. !!15 -
Stewart doing his routine security brief:
"Please put your phone on airplane mode.
If you own a Galaxy Note 7, please turn it off."
*Half of passengers cracked up*3 -
"xkcd.com is best viewed with Netscape Navigator 4.0 or below on a Pentium 3±1 emulated in Javascript on an Apple IIGS at a screen resolution of 1024x1. Please enable your ad blockers, disable high-heat drying, and remove your device from Airplane Mode and set it to Boat Mode. For security reasons, please leave caps lock on while browsing."
Best part of the site honestly1 -
Told by Gerald Weinberg in various incarnations:
A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers. The teacher walks in and asks this question:
"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane). One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"
Nine developers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?"
The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground, much less crash." -
Dear Microsoft Kusto Query Language (KQL)
Screw you. You suck like more than a sudden depressurization event in an airplane. Creating your own freaking query language is bad, the people who invented SQL based it on a the principles of mathematical relational algebra, which although confusing, and not suited for all use cases is at least consistent.
You were invented by a bunch of oxygen deprived halfwits based on the principles of sadism and incompetence.
The only situation in which I would voluntarily use KQL as my tool of choice is if my purpose was to extract a Dantesque style revenge on someone who had committed grievous harm to myself and my family members. In that case forcing them to work with you day in and day out would still border on cruel and unusual punishment.
Sincerely, A developer who has spent the past 2 hours dealing with your Lovecraftian madness.
P.S. I hope you choke on a raw chicken bone and no one gives you CPR.3 -
A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers. The teacher walks in and asks this question:
"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane). One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"
Nine developers raised their hands. The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?"
The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground, much less crash." -
Just overheard a conversation between 2 pilots while waiting to board a flight at an airport about some airplane related software. The guy talking seemed very proud (read egotistical) about his tech knowledge. It went something like... "Well you see it's open source so they are worried someone might have put a backdoor in it somewhere".
That's the point of open source you dumbass you actually have the ability to check 🤦♂️ -
bro just learn C bro I promise it's all smooth sailing bro haha lol just take up HTML with CSS bro its a piece of cake bro what bro lol just start coding up differential equations with numpy library haha its so simple bro just start with Ruby bro it will take only couple days bro what lol bro take this aeronautical course on how to code an airplane simulation bro its so simple bro just start algorithms on cryptography bro its so easy i cant bro just start writing drivers for printers bro haha lol just start writing a bootloader for a new Linux distro bro lol haha easy bro just make a billion dollar company bro haha its so simple.
keep going bro haha invent your own JS framework over a billion existing ones haha bro typescript is so easy bro lol what u say take up redis bro go from the first command bro learn mongodb and mysql together bro its so simple.
but bro don't try to master JS bro .. u will regret it forever bro.6 -
The flyer says "lick today , grand opening" ....
Mannn I'm into it... Although I perfer tight openings...
3 -
And here we go!
I am finally in my holiday apartment.
Finally, it is time to sit down and relax for a bit.
I am awake since yesterday. Approximately 2 full days.
The weather in Antalya is not that hot tbh. I almost did not feel any change when I arrived. Just the sun tho. I was completely blinded when I made my first move out of the airplane.
Ps: That picture is from a small town within Antalya and about an hour away from the "real" Antalya.
1 -
Another oldie - apologies if it has been done before.
So there were these two developers in a light aircraft looking to land, but they were completely fog bound and had no clue where they were (I said it was an oldie - no GPS).
So they flew around for a while, getting lower and lower hoping to see a landmark, when they flew past this office building.
As they went by, they saw a single light on in one of the windows, so they flew around again and attracted the guy's attention.
On the next loop around, the pilot shouted "WHERE ARE WE?"
Then on the next loop around, the guy in the office shouted back "YOU'RE IN AN AIRPLANE".
They looped around again, and the pilot shouted "THANKS!" and set course south west for 15 miles and made a perfect touchdown at Seattle airport.
Hi passenger looked at him and said "How did you do that??"
He said "Quite simple really. I asked that guy a perfectly reasonable question, and got an answer that was 100% correct, but totally useless, so I deduced that must be Microsoft, and I knew that the airport is 15 miles to the south west"2 -
!dev
I will never understand the need for weeding bs. I am ok with marriage, and doing whatever religious festivity you want to whatever deity you follow. I respect that stuff enough to not go all anti-religious or what not. But I just cannot fathom making a party that benefits the attendee (food whatnot) more than the people starting a life together. Gifts? a popularity contest? I don't get it. My weeding was simple, did not invite a bunch of people, shit burned bridges, but our families were there and that to me was more than enough. Anyone else that got offended, well, they can get offended whenever they pay one of my fucking bills.
But I just cannot get the need to have such a ceremony, AND then to have the audacity to get upset or call out people that cannot make it. Make it for fucking what? the bridge and groom are going to be so fucking distracted with everyone that at most your presence gets an "ah glad you came!"
AND some people even do it in different cities, fucking why? it is a burden as an adult to make time for such minute events, even more to take the time, and the fucking money to go to your fucking party on another city. Bonus points if I need to buy a fucking airplane ticket, no fucking thanks.
I am currently doing something big in my life that only my wife can help me with, because of my situation, my family can't help me, so i am all by myself and wife, and some people told me to put it on hold.....to go to a fucking party. WHY? Why in the sweet holy Mexican baby Ritchie would I go ahead and fucking do that? you are not going to help me afterwards when I get back, shit, you will be out on fucking vacation after the party, for 2 fucking weeks (talk about privilege) and you still want me to put my shit on hold to go...to a fucking party?
Fuck, sometimes I feel that I am toooo fucking egotistical to put my time before others, but man, you really get shit out of this. 2 weedings happening this month, one requires a ticket, the other is a drive away (4 fucking hours) but still, I really don't feel that I should waste my VL that I would much rather spend with my wife and child on some fucking obnoxious ego-inflated party.9 -
A group of ten top software engineers is sent to a class for aspiring managers.
The teacher walks in and asks this question:"You work for a software company which develops avionics (software that controls the instruments of an airplane).
One day you are taking a business trip. As you get on the plane you see a plaque that says this plane is using a beta of the software your team developed. Who would get off?"Nine developers raised their hands.
The teacher looked at the tenth and asked, "Why would you stay on?
"The tenth said, "if my team wrote the software, the plane would not get off the ground2 -
My new phone - the Motorola C Plus - has insane battery life.
Took it off charge Monday 07:30am with 100% battery.
It's now Thursday 11:00pm and it still has 10% battery.
You're looking at 90 hours Standby right there. Damm, Motorola.
I put it on Airplane mode when I sleep and have the screen brightness turned down, but still.
That's impressive.3 -
Why the fuck do offline-enabled (music, video) apps load forever on slow network but instantaneously in airplane mode? Is it so difficult to show cached content first and refresh only once downloaded? Yes, I mean you, Spotify, Amazon Music, Amazon Video and Audible!!! 🤬1
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These ignorant comments about arch are starting to get on my nerves.
You ranted or asked help about something exclusive to windows and someone pointed out they don't have that problem in arch and now you're annoyed?
Well maybe it's for good.
Next comes a very rough analogy, but imagine if someone posts "hey guys, I did a kg of coke and feeling bad, how do I detox?"
It takes one honest asshole to be like "well what if you didn't do coke?".
Replace the coke with windows.
Windows is a (mostly) closed source operating system owned by a for profit company with a very shady legal and ethical history.
What on earth could possibly go wrong?
Oh you get bsod's?
The system takes hours to update whenever the hell it wants, forces reboot and you can't stop it?
oh you got hacked because it has thousands of vulnerabilities?
wannacry on outdated windows versions paralyzed the uk health system?
oh no one can truly scrutinize it because it's closed source?
yet you wonder why people are assholes when you mention it? This thing is fucking cancer, it's hundreds of steps backwards in terms of human progress.
and one of the causes for its widespread usage are the savage marketing tactics they practiced early on. just google that shit up.
but no, linux users are assholes out to get you.
and how do people react to these honest comments? "let's make a meme out of it. let's deligitimize linux, linux users and devs are a bunch of neckbeards, end of story, watch this video of rms eating skin off his foot on a live conference"
short minded idiots.
I'm not gonna deny the challenges or limitations linux represents for the end user.
It does take time to learn how to use it properly.
Nvidia sometimes works like shit.
Tweaking is almost universally required.
A huge amount of games, or Adobe/Office/X products are not compatible.
The docs can be very obscure sometimes (I for one hate a couple of manpages)
But you get a system that:
* Boots way faster
* Is way more stable
* Is way way way more secure.
* Is accountable, as in, no chance to being forced to get exploited by some evil marketing shit.
In other words, you're fucking free.
You can even create your own version of the system, with total control of it, even profit with it.
I'm not sure the average end user cares about this, but this is a developer forum, so I think in all honesty every developer owes open source OS' (linux, freebsd, etc) major respect for being free and not being corporate horseshit.
Doctors have a hippocratic oath? Well maybe devs should have some form of oath too, some sworn commitment that they will try to improve society.
I do have some sympathy for the people that are forced to use windows, even though they know ideally isn't the ideal moral choice.
As in, their job forces it, or they don't have time or energy to learn an alternative.
At the very least, if you don't know what you're talking about, just stfu and read.
But I don't have one bit of sympathy for the rest.
I didn't even talk about arch itself.
Holy fucking shit, these people that think arch is too complicated.
What in the actual fuck.
I know what the problem is, the arch install instructions aren't copy paste commands.
Or they medium tutorial they found is outdated.
So yeah, the majority of the dev community is either too dumb or has very strong ADD to CAREFULLY and PATIENTLY read through the instructions.
I'll be honest, I wouldn't expect a freshman to follow the arch install guide and not get confused several times.
But this is an intermediate level (not megaexpert like some retards out there imply).
Yet arch is just too much. That's like saying "omg building a small airplane is sooooo complicated". Yeah well it's a fucking aerial vehicle. It's going to be a bit tough. But it's nowhere near as difficult as building a 747.
So because some devs are too dumb and talk shit, they just set the bar too low.
Or "if you try to learn how to build a plane you'll grow an aviator neckbeard". I'll grow a fucking beard if I want too.
I'm so thankful for arch because it has a great compromise between control and ease of install and use.
When I have a fresh install I only get *just* what I fucking need, no extra bullshit, no extra programs I know nothing about or need running on boot time, and that's how I boot way faster that ubuntu (which is way faster than windows already).
Configuring nvidia optimus was a major pain in the ass? Sure was, but I got it work the way I wanted to after some time.
Upgrading is also easy as pie, so really scratching my brain here trying to understand the real difficult of using arch.22 -
So, seen this when I just arrived at work earlier this week. Made me think of COD. 😂 We hear them frequently flying over us all day.
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!Dev
I dislike the idea of therapists. I mean, not the people who study human behaviour to help understand it but the people who try to "fix" another person's problems.
My reason for this is that they're human themselves and I'd say it's pretty obvious that we don't know exactly how the mind works so it's basically like trying to fix an airplane with only half or even less of the blueprints.
The reason I don't like them being human themselves is because we are fallible, you can't guarantee or at least have a extremely high probability of the same prevention or treatment rate as you maybe could with a computer. It's not repeatable. Then again, we don't have the "blueprints" so to speak so it's kind of hard to say.
Your thoughts?5 -
What i can do in the airplane...
Read books
Listen to music
Sleep
See outside the window
Make some programs
Drink water
Play card games
Anything else?
Note: the plane i am rodong doesnt have anything interesting in ife, only airshow6 -
"I can't connect to the internet on my phone!!11!"
*I open control centre and disable airplane mode*
"omg how you do that thank you"1 -
Fuck Google! I'm trying to write a fucking parential app that I can install on my little sisters phone, because I won't download something that is meant to monitor activity on a child's phone when I am capable of writing one. Problem is, I test it on my phone which has Android 10, because I am not keen on testing with a slowpoke out of wood brick that the target phone is. Android 10 does not let you do a single shit that is needed for a parential software. You try to turn on airplane mode to prevent messages from arriving and such? Well.... nope, you can't. Okay... airplane mode is too drastic. Let's try turning off WiFi and Data. Fuck me, you can't do that either. I gave the app fucking system permissions and It laughs in my face when I try to access some simple shit like... WiFi state. Miserable. I wonder if it will let me mute the fucking volume on the phone. I guess It won't, because "You shouldn't set these things on a user's phone.". Well, fuck that. That's exactly what I need. That old brick does not have built in parental settings. Jesus.19
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A few friends and I on our way home from a hackathon:
Lady at the door of the airplane:
*sees our hack the north lanyards*
Lady: "Oh where are we coming from? Hack the North? That means if we have any wifi problems onboard you can help us out right?
Us: ... suuureee2 -
This not a rant, but I want to ask you some advice from you the community.
Before that I want to tell you about me. I have an invisible handicap. I'm half-deaf. I have some moderately severe loss between ~500 - 3000 Hz. To give you some idea, its in the range of clock ticking, whispering, piano notes, pronounced letters (m, n, p, h, g, ch and sh sounds), leaves crushing or waving in the wind.
I use hearing aids, however I can't always count on those because if it's too loud (ex: airplane flying over the building), I can't hear the voices that are speaking in that moment. Or sometimes the tubes where the augmented sounds are passing to my ear are repleted because of humidity. So I don't hear 100% better but rather in the range of ~70 - 80%.
I'm going to need to do an internship next year to finish my studies. Since I will take interviews, I want to ask you if I should mention those details to my interviewer or keep it very simple and tell him that I use hearing aids?
I ask you this because I know people with hearing aids had problems to find a workplace because the interviewers feared the "unknown". Some needed to sign up for help for handicapped people to receive a workplace. For them it is a downside because they are tagged as "handicapped" in society.
I know here are some interviewers and I wanted to know some advice from them as well from you guys of the community.
If you want to know more about hearing loss, feel free to ask questions.3 -
Made a root only app: enable/disable GPS, mobile data, airplane mode and etc. work on not rooted device(yes all these functions work too).
How: Desktop app which downloads cross-platform ADB drivers, unzips them, executes a few commands, deletes the drivers and voala.
P.S: I use local ADB TCP connection(yeah I ported a part of the drivers for java android) and write_secure_settings granted with 'pm grant'.
And everything is user-friendly with screenshots explaining how to enable ADB and how to click a 2 buttons.3 -
Rubik's cube, fidget cube, pipelike fidget toy, a bunch of happy meal toys, another bunch of Kinder egg toys, BB8 paper cup from ANA airplane..collection of lighters & tons of paper notebooks - doodles & my handwriting are each a very rare and unique art form noone quite understands.. 🤣🤣🤣
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Everyone knows Rudolph the red nosed reindeer right?
He guides santa
Was it made to tell to kids whenever they see an airplane fly at night and they see their red lights? -
I used to code in the cab where the train operators drove the trains pretty frequently. I've also coded in an airplane hanger that was turned into a train factory, but it was less exciting then you'd think.
At the time I was working for a train company so it wasn't weird. I got pretty used to it. We weren't allowed to code in the same cab if the operator was driving the train, so I'd sometimes pop into the spare can because their seats are really comfy.5 -
favorite
- big living room, well lighted, with view, better if in a foreign country and unknown city.
Why? well, I work fast so I can go out and explore.
most productive for coding and concentration
- airplane
Why? well, nobody can fucking call me nor write me emails + nothing else to do
Worst place
- the office
Why? wtf -
What about Manjaro Linux? How many of you guys actually used this distribution? I did installed this distro on my pc. Everything's neat. Battery consumption is lower than other distro I've used before. However I'm facing an unusual behavior though. My laptops fan is making more noise than ever before. No heavy applications running. As soon as I hit the power button it seems like a fucking airplane is starting. Lmao. Is it related to os or something else?6
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Can't operate in normal conditions, hmmm... These airplane media systems really need someone to come in and change the game. Linux stack, nice, but most obviously some Linux frontend? 🤔 Although, this is satellite, my rant remains the same! Need to change the game!
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So I was tooling through the same dumb crap again looking at the same posts and watching as people just for some reason do the same things as we no longer try to solve the problem of the country getting bankrupted which they cause and I feel an almost total lack of any or all motivation to do anything.
why should I ?
people are chomping at the bit to ruin our country and have succeeded for some time now.
our courts are corrupt
our government is bullshit
the young and old are all garbage
and noone seems interested in time progressing because there is always some other dumbshit
age group reaching maturity being told the most obscene explanations for things.
its like i'm mad max discovering the airplane cult !
and yeah I like what i'm looking at exactly this moment, but its not worth what it costs in the absence of a real economy.
I want to move forward with life and retain a life the only way these bastards coerce people to engage in their weird ordered tyranny is by removing their ability to have a normal life.
fuck you people.
additionally, fuck your arranging the most obsene aspect of your whore trade beside the one normal people would want !1 -
!rant
I'm better at getting work done when I have work to do.
Put your phone on airplane mode, turn off internet on your computer (unless you really need it) and write down what you need to do and when it's due. Just do it.1 -
Project Manager: Our employees are not receptive to the new internal app we built
Dev: Have you tried making airplane noises when you show it to them?1 -
!ios
Just Happy..
Jailbroken iPhone X
!! Disclaimer !!
I‘m not the Dev of this Jailbreak nor am I an Professional these are the steps that worked for me best.
Oh and, Jailbreaking will result in losing your Warranty. Don‘t do it if you don‘t know what you are doing!
Don‘t work with the official one?
Coolstar asked ignition.fun to host their Developer Account needed one.
The Website will have Ads, but they didn‘t change one Line in the JB itself. So no ads on the Device itself.
1. Go to ignition.fun in Safari (No Computer needed)
2. Click on Electra MP
3. Download it
4. Verify the Profile
5. Turn Off Siri
6. Turn on Airplane Mode
7. Restart your iDevice
8. Check if Airplane Mode is still on
9. Open Electra App and Press the Jailbreak Button (iPhone will restart)
10. Cydia Icon will be shown (If not -> Check Step 5. and 6. and then Start from 7.)
11. Open Electra again and click „Enable Jailbreak“
12. (I think Device will respring) You can now use Cydia
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