Job search isn't easy.

Not because there aren't any jobs, but because I am afraid of anything that seems remotely like my current toxic workplace.

Fack.

At $work, I just learned that a daemon on prod makes an SFTP connection to the same domain every 0.5 to 10 seconds, all day long, every single day. That’s a minimum of 8,640 connections per day!

The senior developer responsible for it had the dev skills of a junior and the management skills of a puppet, but she’s a “disadvantaged minority” and is great at stealing credit and throwing people under the bus. Naturally, she has been given multiple promotions and a team to lead… which she fills exclusively with other Indians, all of them at her skill level or below. (I used to do their code reviews and security reviews.)

When I asked one of the fintech managers (a former dev) about the crazy number of SFTP connections, he said “[Her team] did that intentionally, as it didn’t used to be that way. They must have had a reason” and cut me off.

Okay then.
Not my garden, not my fertilizer.
Just another day weeding the fields in hell.

Here’s to a better 2025!

Wait a minute…

js amiright

that's weird

I've dreamt that instead of "release" we were calling it "disease"

A "Show Devrant" category.
Rules:
* No dick pics
* Strictly dev related stuff
* No dick pics even if it's a machine learning project that can tell the difference between dicks and sausages

Fucked up my username.

untreated testicular cancer whore ass scrotum looking mouth wrapped in a cocksucker's infra-lingual malignant tumor vomiting a stupid stinking pussy fart of a retort can unequivocally swallow a vast jungle of hairy fucking balls

Today I learned.

In php if you cast a string to array you get an array with one value: the string.

Anyone else still wear one of these?

“Hey what’s this issue? Can you tell me what’s going on?”
“Yeah sure, what is it?”
[login page alert displaying “your email or password is incorrect, please try again.”]

How do people like this live? How do they not forget how to breathe or eat?

Sometimes I just don't know what to say anymore

I'm working on my engine and I really wanna push high triangle counts. I'm doing a pretty cool technique called visibility rendering and it's great because it kind of balances out some known causes of bad performance on GPUs (namely that pixels are always rasterized in quads, which is especially bad for small triangles)

So then I come across this post https://tellusim.com/compute-raster... which shows some fantastic results and just for the fun of it I implement it. Like not optimized or anything just a quick and dirty toy demo to see what sort of performance I can get

... I just don't know what to say. Using actual hardware accelerated rasterization, which GPUs are literally designed to be good at, I render about 37 million triangles in 3.6 ms. Eh, fine but not great. Then I implement this guys unoptimized(!) software rasterizer and I render the same scene in 0.5 ms?!

IT'S LITERALLY A COMPUTE SHADER. I rasterize the triangles manually IN SOFTWARE and write them out with 64-bit atomic image stores. HOW IS THIS FASTER THAN ACTUAL HARDWARE!???
AND BY LIKE A ORDER OF MAGNITUDE AT THAT???

Like I even tried doing some optimizations like backface cone culling on the meshlets, but doing that makes it slower. HOW. Im rendering 37 million triangles without ANY fancy tricks. No hi-z depth culling which a GPU would normally do. No backface culling which a GPU with normally do. Not even damn clipping of triangles. I render ALL of them ALL the time. At 0.5 ms

Tech lead doesn't focus on the fact that I solved the problem, only says stuff like:
- "yeah but this is why we are Agile"
- "did someone else review your code?"
- "you can't expect me to have to understand what the program does"
- "did you get permission from X to solve this problem?"
- "talk to someone else if you have any problem. only come to me with answers"

I guess I don't have to explain I don't like my tech lead.

Today’s my work anniversary, which also means it’s the anniversary of the day my friend Kirk got a Twitter response from Missy Elliott after he tweeted about writing a function called missyElliott that takes a data structure, flips it, and reverses it (something that may have been a crazy thing that happened once but that we as his friends tell everyone about and celebrate every year, much to his horror).

https://kirkday.club
The org we volunteer for (and that he’s a maintainer of) even went so far as to create Kirk merch (https://store.virtualcoffee.io/sear...)

if anyone needs a link for ubuntu....

http://ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.ubuntu.archive.ubuntu.com/...

I made a password generator (pictured: light & dark theme variants)

Apparently I got promoted again

Long time no rant.

Rant::beginRant();

How do people who are, I think, supposed to have a knowledge of what the fuck they're doing, keep their work without knowing what the fuck they're doing?
You're telling me that you have been hired as a "full-stack developer", yet you can't build a motherfucking Vue page over SSH (not even talking about automated deployment, just the most bare bones approach)? You don't know how to deploy a Laravel project? You don't know that Linux server paths are case sensitive? You can't read the log files?!

Rant::commitRant();

Someone at this point MUST have realized this was excessive, and this someone kept going nonetheless

Make all fancy Azure blob storage with SFTP connection through firewall with dedicated public IP.

...to just find out that the webcameras you want to send stuff to the blob storage take in max 16 or 30 character passwords for sFTP. While the autogenerated passwords for SFTP in Azure are 32 characters long.

WHO THE HELL RESTRICTS PASSWORD LENGTH!? ASfjksdnfjksdjfnjksdakfadsnjkfjdsa

I’m getting really tired of all these junior-turn-senior devs who can’t write simple code asking ChatGPT to solve everything for them.

I’m having to untangle everything from bizarre organization/flow to obvious gotchas / missed edge cases to ridiculously long math chains (that could be 1/10th the length), or — and I feel so dirty for this — resorting to asking ChatGPT wtf it was thinking when it obviously wrote some of these monstrosities. Which it gets wrong much of the time.

“ALL HAIL CHATGPT!” Proclaims the head of Engineering. “IT’S OUR PRODUCTIVITY SAVIOR! LEVERAGING AI WILL LET US OUTPERFORM THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY!”

Jesus fucking christ.

!dev

It's gonna be a bad Friday if this is how it starts

There's 2 types of developers, one's that use source forge, and one's that don't

TL;DR: I have some rambly shit to say...

Update on the Uni stuff: I think I got a pass in all the subjects. Two exams left but I am holding on. It's a big deal to me since last year I could barely do a single subject per semester - a subject I had failed a few times because of lack of interest and good ol' depression. Anyways, I persisted with that subject, got my Bachelor's in Food Technology and now I'm doing that Master's of mine... It probably looks wild to people here that I did that switch but I have always had a relationship with computers as long as I remember myself. So it's not surprising that as soon as I got a choice in what I *actually* wanted to do I chose this kinda thing. But I do have to rant that it took me 10 fucking years to choose! And that I did not choose it before choosing food technology which I will probably never use anyways. I wasted so much of my energy and time on that. I did elect programming as one of the subjects while doing food tech but I really should have moved to something else. But oh well. Guess I had to find out the hard way.

For all those reading, this is what it looks like when you're 30, have very little experience in doing programming for anything else than academics and are doing a major career switch through studies after struggling for 10 years with a 4-year Bachelor's. But such is life.

Also a bit off topic but I just cannot handle people not telling what they mean because of the inability or lesser ability to tell what that is in the first place.

I can't deal with the fact of how fucked human societies are. I just can't. I am way too nice for it. So I listen to stuff like true crime to really get a feel of how evil people can be. I know it's ~problematic~ or whatever, but to me it is a way of engaging with the lesser spoken side of human beings.

And maybe, just maybe, I should get checked for ADHD again because I feel like despite my therapy for depression, nothing really has changed with the ADHD symptoms I was diagnosed with. And maybe for autism since people have labelled me that way and it might explain some stuff... All that is to say I need some good mental care. And this society is shit for it. Hell, apparently one of the psychologists I was under the care of thought depression resulted from ungratefulness. All this while I was legit being abused. But that abuse has stopped now that I found a psychologist that is actually standing up for me. I just mourn for all the time I spent being depressed and how it fucked my memory and stuff. How much it affected me and all. I have no idea why I'm being this vulnerable but it feels somewhat fitting... How do you cope with being 30 and not remembering almost all your life? What you remember being what you managed to write down or has been negative enough it stuck in the brain for forever...

Just why am I fucking supposed to be all happy and shit when I am just tired of life because it is too goddamn much? I have no real reason to look forward to things, online friends and the offline one included. Because ultimately, I have no damn motivation to look forward to anything, really. I am supposedly doing better but in reality I am just getting better at going through the motions. The therapy, while mindblowingly effective, is not actually addressing the core cause of everything and just expecting me to fake it till I make it. And this is me saying that about CBT. Why should I have to tell myself things just to feel human? I am one and as long as I'm alive, nothing will change that. So why do I have to always feel like an alien wherever I am? So out of touch with myself that I don't have a self image or an ability to even tell what the actual fuck I want from life... I am getting better with the latter, but still. It hurts. I wanna shed so many tears but I'm frustratingly unable to do so.

I am just a human trying to human in this ocean of 8 billion humans. Maybe I will find some more connections, maybe I won't.

I wanna end this rambling session by a few things:
1. I will have to go to Canada at some point this year to see my in-laws and some other family over there...
2. I will probably have to seek a job there (for financial reasons it is much better for me to have one there and to work remotely in Georgia) and I have no idea of where to start since I am not the greatest material for it.
3. Life is going alright-ish.
4. I will hear from the startup company at some point this month.
5. I have plans for my future but no idea if they will ever come true at this point.
6. My family arrangement will have to change in more ways than one.
7. I should resume my unofficial first music album and engage in creative stuff because at the core, I have a need to do so.
8. Do I really have to do Duolingo again? I really want to not forget German and Russian, but I just never have practice. And Duolingo is surprisingly easy to forget to do for me.

The end.

How is it going, motherkissers?
Where’s my OG Fam at?

Did anyone else notice that the weekly rant prompt stopped working two months ago 😬?

T'is 'bout the fine things in life

Wrote my first u it tests for c++. Considering how hard everything else is, I was sort of afraid. But turns out it’s not as bad as I was expecting.