November 2022

*Wife*: What do you want for x-mas? A new phone maybe? Yours has lived through a lot already - perhaps it's time for an upgrade?
*I*: Naah, thanks. My trusty S7 still works incredibly well. I also have all those 2FAs set up there and stuff I'm too lazy to transfer over to a new device.

*Parents*: What do you want for–//–
*I*: Naah, thanks. My tr–//–

*in-laws*: What do you want for–//–
*I*: Naah, thanks. My tr–//–

*Siblings*: What do you want for–//–
*I*: Naah, thanks. My tr–//–

January 2023:
*My phone*:

“It wasn’t my fault!” -person sentenced to 40 years in jail for cyber attacks.

So today our CFO stepped into IT and angrily proclaimed someone using tech@ e-mail and fake name is defrauding company funds buying themselves... "used female lingerie with extra virgin juice" (sic!).

I work for an IPSP, we handle finance for commercial services (think PayPal but smaller). One of our clients is a big platform where girls can sell items like bath water, used socks and more. CFO demanded our admins found out who and when connected to that website, what URLs and so on.

As mentioned, said platform is pretty big, hence, from time to time we help them with their service when they ask us to, that's why we have a tech@ account. Last month there was a minor issue with one of the banks, someone fixed it and, as per usual, made a small payment of €1 topping up the account wallet to make sure everything works. It was an intern whose will to live is still strong and unencumbered with experience so she jokingly wrote "panties juice, extra virgin" in the payment note. What she *didn't know*, however, is that admins on that platform used the very same account to test new billing system they've implemented and our CFO received an invoice.

Alan Turing at more-or-less my age: Cracks Enigma code

Me at my age: Trying to remember the name of the boat from Titanic

Getting disappointed how ChatGPT is getting neutered day by day. Give me a bot that spouts truth without being censored....

Gotta do it, I guess.

I am amazed. I witnessed (mostly heard) a 14 year old girl calm down a young adult female suffering an anxiety attack before I managed to push through people on the tram. She told her to close her eyes, breath, tell her what she smells, then open her eyes, name first thing that she sees, then look left, name first thing, etc.

This is called sensory grounding and it works. And yeah, what she did was pretty awesome but this isn't what amazed me the most. I asked where she learned that and she said "from a game about apes". And I knew exactly which game she meant. There's a title called Ancestors: The Humankind Odyssey and among many interesting mechanics there's one that puts the player in a state of anxiety when they venture into an unknown territory. The way to win that part is by analyzing surroundings by vision, hearing and the sense of smell before a panic countdown goes to zero. It's called "conquering your fear". Holly fuck, I played that and I didn't connect the dots. Are games nowadays teaching kids how to handle real life crisis? Where were those games when I was a kid??

If user was on the right screen, and if random error dialog happened to show, it would delete his account.

For example, if user got "Server error, please try again later", it would delete his account, after dismissing dialog.

Luckily it didn't make it to production.

??????????????????? What??????

???? What???????

I couldnt solve a bug for hours.
Hours of googling.
Hours of mental trainwreck.
Hours of stress.
1:28 am.

I cant solve it.

HOLD ON I HAVE AN IDEA.

ChatGPT AI. HELP ME.

i copy and pasted the part of code thats bugging me. Keep in mind that this is a VERY large and robust system and this is just tiny percentage of code.

I told the AI to help me fix this shit bug.

ChatGPT literally explained me what the bug is as if im retarded and wrote code how to fix it.

LOOK AT THE SCREENSHOT U CANT EVEN MAKE THIS SHIT UP

HOW????

bf is starting his first job as a dev and asked me how to prepare. i had no clue what to tell him lol. any suggestions?

A 4-words horror story:

“JavaScript runs the web”.

When a project switches from another language to Javascript:
Numerically, shit just got real...

I've been thinking of getting my masters degree and now I'm actually considering
- quitting my current full time job
- start the masters in almost full time
- work part time as a barista

Am I insane or could this be an actual option

Dumb asshole lays a half smoked joint near me
Got up threw that shit away
Not trying to get arrested
Meanwhile accomplice wanders out again

I’m dying

Ok soooo......today all those years of learning cmd commands and how to navigate the system in cmd kinda paid off

Had to search and copy files from a pc that isn't booting up and the pc has to return to the pharmacy today

Incase the machine fails.... we just do fresh install and restore back critical data

I started learning Unity through their online learning pathways and I can't help it but Unity feelsmkind of gimicky. Like it's a lot of clicking your stuff together and using predefined components (at least at the early learning step I am right now) and very little coding.
I expected more of a Framework.

!rant Stood outside talking to my next door neighbor (who I hadn’t met yet) for over an hour yesterday.

In the middle of the day.

In Texas.

Not in shade.

When I lack the ability to tan.

It’s been so long since I was stupid enough to be outside for that long that I forgot just how much sunburns suck.

#regrets

I feel like these two sentences go together somehow:

rubber duck
what the fuck

This is probably how a programmer poem would start.

that feeling when you reuse a compoinent you wrote 1 year ago and all bizzare magic still applies and everything just works as expected.

I pay over $100 per year for Apple's piece of shit developer program and the app store connect website isn't even accessible right now.

Great.

Twitter comments are shit
How the fuck to use them? Why don't they just show one under another? If post has more than 2 replies it can be clicked to open its direct replies, some of them are shown in main thread, some of them are shown under opened thread. Some replies from main thread are shown under child thread. And to make it even worse any comment of sub thread can be expanded as well showing some random replies that could be expanded recursievly so you may end in main thread again. It is just impossible to read all replies in chonological order. Show me the moron who made this, I wanna kill him....

I worked for a neutriceuticals company that I thought was going to be a crap job. Turned out to be the best employer I ever had. No micromanagement. Great team.

motivation to code:
better package
being called smart
dev swag

okay, i'm still a newbie to (unmanaged) C++, but looking at a colleague's code, what the hell is all this cryptic shit 😵 all this unreadable templating stuff + typedefs, 8 different copy operators in one class, i'm getting headaches just looking at it

Come back from the vacations is a magic experience

My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.

I have a fish that can breakdance! Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.

My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.