Always remember to Write code like a blind man is going to read it.

Me : The website renewal bill is up and it will due in 30 days

Client : Sleep

Me : 14 days

Client : Sleep

Me : 7 days

Client : Sleep

Me : Last notice, it'll be dead tommorow if we dont pay today

Client : Sleep

*website dies*

Me : F

Client the day after suspension : Hey, we can't access the site.

Me : Play dead

***

I think i should say "email service will die if you don't pay the renewal bill" instead

based on how quick they react when shit stopped working

DAMNIT JUPYTER. Kernel stop dying on me when I need you. I thought this was a mutual loving relationship.

And on Fridays we all say together...

✨
✨ DON'T ✨
✨
✨ PUSH ✨
✨ ✨
✨ TO ✨
✨
✨ PRODUCTION ✨
✨
✨

This gets me all the time.

You know you are in silicon valley when you see an ad for redis

My friend (not in CS) said his computer was a bit slow.
I told him I'd fix that for 10, he agreed.

I increased the cursor speed.
He bought it.

Drinking is all fun and games until you need to come in to work next morning." The fuck is a JavaScript" is what my brain is at the moment.

Please contact your optician. Hahahahaha

Me: Did Sherry let you know that I'm leaving today?

Coworker: what!? No!

Me: yeah... I'm leaving.

Coworker: huh, I'm not surprised...

Me: what is that supposed to mean!?

Co: shit man, this job sucks, I'm not surprised. I'll be leaving right behind you.

Me: oh.... Um... April Fools... 😬

Co: God damnit.

Me: don't worry, I won't tell the boss how you really feel.

Ran into a devRant user at a random bar in NYC last night. Super cool meeting you in the wild!

It's a merge conflict

Now this is what I love to see whenever I start the terminal

i'm getting headaches right now...

PM: By when can you do this?
Me: Monday
PM: Which monday?
Me: Exactly

Ran into a girl who I had a crush on in high school at a bar last week. Hanged out for a bit, but then I had to run catch the last train home.

Today I get a message from her that reads: "Hey, it was nice to meet you last week. Can I call you some time, there's something I want to tell you. 😉"

I think to myself -- sweet and say that I have no meetings today, call me whenever you can.

A couple of minutes later she calls me, and the first thing she says: "I have this app idea..."

fuck, shouldn't have hyped myself up.

Alexa (in another room): ***ALARM***
Me: Hey Google, broadcast "Alexa, stop"
Alexa: ***stops***
Me:

1. The quality of the coffee and toilet paper you encounter during an interview tells you more than promises about table tennis or fruit baskets.

2. Try to determine who their primary client is: subscribers, app buyers, advertisers, etc. It's a major influence on the company dynamic.

3. Before an interview, you can just say: "I would like to sit down with a PO and run through one backlog feature and one bug, to get a feel for the type of tasks at the company". Such an activity immediately reveals team structure, whether they have product owners & scrum masters, what a sprint looks like, how they prioritize tasks, and how organized/chaotic your work experience will be.

When you realize that you're googling an error message you've implemented yourself

When a full-stack developer credits the whole team

I am the internet...

My girlfriend's mom has breast cancer, which started spreading. My grandpa has leukemia and I need to finish my masterthesis this month... I'm sorry to bother you guys with it but I'm really not sure how to hold my shit together any longer...

Seems about right

So, I took 4 weeks vacation. I planned to finish so many projects and learn so many stacks.

First 3 weeks:

I once changed all my error messages to say “Processed successfully” because I had a demo yet the software was very buggy.

I bought myself time to fix the bugs later.

#demoHack

- Girl: I don't understand how some people can be so foolish and decide to study computer science.

- Me: Hm, true. So what did you study?

- Girl: Tourism and sports science. And you?

- Me: Nothing. I'm a truck driver.

My boss intentionally changed my IDE font color to black since im using dark theme. I was literally confused a solid 30 minutes.

FFFFUUUUUCK

Time to print out project source code

Yet another commercial seminar upset I won't give up a day of my time to fly to the UK to speak at the event for no payment or reimbursement for my travel.

But of course I should think about the exposure and networking opportunities! 😕

Fuck i hate myself right now...
> Wanted to install minikube on my homeserver(which doesn't have a graphics card in it)
> Error: Virtualization is not enabled
> Take the server out of my rack, opens my desktop pc, takes the gpu out, puts in it my server, and then goes into bios.
> Find that virtualization is enabled.
> Realize that I'm running a dozen docker containers on a daily basis from my server, so OF FREAKING COURSE virtualization is enabled...

So after all that, I figure out that I should probably just google my issue, which leads to me find out, it's just an issue with virtualbox, and simply running 'minikube config set vm-driver none', it fixes it, and I am now running minikube.............

Took half an hour of work, to realize that I'm a complete fucking idiot, who shouldn't be allowed near a computer