** PSA to all programming language and tool maintainers **

Please for the love of god have a dedicated examples section on your website where people can quickly evaluate what the thing even looks like

So often the next best thing is going to the docs where they tell you that the turboblub option should be set to 12 in these specific usecases whEN I DON'T eVEN KNoW WHETHER THIS IS A PROGRAMMING LANGUAGE OR A LAWN MOWER

Kidding! and !Kidding are logically equivalent

So this one dude at my school asked at a student conference, if they could swap Google for Ecosia as the search engine for all school computers. This ended up becoming an actual thing there a year after my graduation.
Imagine if a lot of other schools would do that too? Planting trees and ditching a monopoly, because one simple change from the IT department.

Sometimes I write "nom run serve" instead of "npm run serve" and it makes me crave a donut.

Anyone else feel like having a good cry tonight ?

Got my first paycheck as a student! That feels so good.

Some empty-headed helpdesk girl skipped into our office yesterday afternoon, despite the big scary warning signs glued to the door.

"Hey, when I log in on my phone, the menu is looking weird"

"Uh... look at my beard"

"What"

"Just look at this beard!"

"Uh.... OK"

"Does this look like a perfectly groomed beard"

"Uh... it's pretty nice I guess"

"You don't have to lie"

She looks puzzled: "OK... maybe it could use a little trimming. Uh... a lot of trimming". "I still like it though" she adds, trying hard to be polite.

"I understand you just started working here. But the beard... the beard should make it clear. See the office opposite to this one?"

"Yeah"

"Perfectly groomed ginger beards. It's all stylish shawls and smiles and spinach smoothies. Those people are known as frontend developers, they care about pixels and menus. Now look at my beard. It is dark and wild, it has some gray stress hairs, and if you take a deep breath it smells like dust and cognac mixed with the tears caused by failed deploys. Nothing personal, but I don't give a fuck what a menu looks like on your phone."

She looked around, and noticed the other 2 tired looking guys with unshaven hobo chins. To her credit, she pointed at the woman in the corner: "What about her, she doesn't seem to have a beard"

Yulia, 1.9m long muscled database admin from Ukraine, lets out a heavy sigh. "I do not know you well enough yet to show you where I grow my unkempt graying hairs... . Now get lost divchyna."

Helpdesk girl leaves the scene.

Joanna, machine learning dev, walks in: "I saw a confused blonde lost in the hallway, did you give her the beard speech?"

"Yeah" -- couldn't hold back a giggle -- "haha now she'll come to you"

Joanna: "No I already took care of it"

"How?"

"She started about some stupid menu, so I just told her to smell my cup". Joanna, functional alcoholic, is holding her 4pm Irish coffee. "I think this living up to our stereotype tactic is working, because the girl laughed and nodded like she understood, and ran off to the design department"

Me: "I do miss shaving though"

(After telling a friend about a date)
Ahh I get it why she talks a lot. She codes Java, man

Imagine a database table where dates were saved as strings from raw user input. Then do migration to other database with table where dates are datetime.

Yep. That's me. 😶

I hate humans. 😧🔫

Especially those who try to be original like:
11|Sept.|2016 or 13;Juni;17

There are rules in this world, damn. 😥

Hacking yourself.

When developers are frustrated with stupid laws 😂😂

My 80 year old very absent minded dad made a website, all by himself, using a two decades old book he got from the thrift store.

He's even hosting it himself on an old laptop running Debian, including a redirect to a beautiful nostalgic /~username/index.htm url (not gonna share the link, because his personal details are on there).

The whole site is incredibly carefully crafted, and I'm super proud of him.

Who cares if it's not a React app? The 14 kilobytes of HTML 4.0 markup load in 20-30ms, and it renders pretty much perfectly in every browser including Internet Explorer 4 and Edge.

🤷‍♂❤️

"Hey bro I wanna make Facebook but bettah"
"Sure, go ask James!"
"James Who?"

Linux distributions.