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Aboutweb dev
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Skillsphp,html,css,js,wordpress
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LocationDubai
Joined devRant on 6/12/2016
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*15 new emails*
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A small story on digitalization
I had spent an hour in the bank with my dad, as he had to transfer some money. I couldn't resist myself & asked:
Dad, why don't we activate your internet banking?
''Why would I do that?'' He asked, ''Well, then you wont have to spend an hour here for things like transfer.
You can even do your shopping online. Everything will be so easy!
I was so excited about initiating him into the world of Net banking.
He asked, If I do that, I wont have to step out of the house?
''Yes, yes''! I said. I told him how even grocery can be delivered at door now and how amazon delivers everything!
His answer left me tongue-tied.
He said ''Since I entered this bank today, I have met four of my friends, I have chatted a while with the staff who know me very well by now.
Two years back I got sick, The store owner from whom I buy fruits, came to see me and sat by my bedside and cried.
When u r Mom fell down few days back while on her morning walk. Our local grocer saw her and immediately got his car to rush her home as he knows where I live.
Would I have that 'human' touch if everything became online?
I like to know the person that I'm dealing with and not just the 'seller'. It creates bonds. Relationships.
Does "online" deliver all this as well?
Technology isn't life #BeHuman
For those who are not getting the context, this things happen in India. It is truth not a fact.19 -
A call I had today, girl registered a domain and put it in her hosting package:
Girl: so where can I view my email accounts?
Me: *explains*
G: Oh, I wanted an email address with info or my first name as part before the @ but I only see an account with the name of my hosting account username?
Me: that's right, that's a default one you get :)
G: oh 😞 I....I.... I've always have wanted a domain name with my own email addresses linked to it and I thought I could do that this way 😩
(I could hear the disappointment and that she seemed very sad suddenly)
Me: do you see that "create new email account" button up there?
G: Yes..... Wait.... Can I make like multiple email addresses myself?!
Me: as many as you can manage inside your hosting account!
G: 😵😍 OH MY GOD
Me: Haha, enjoy creating some!
G: THANK YOU I LOVE YOU BYE
*Click*
It's those moments which can make your fucking day!15 -
New devRant feature! Filtering by post type! This took a bit longer to get out than we had planned, but now that extra click to label a post type will be put to good use! Hate memes but love rants? Want to only see questions? Don't want to see random off-topic posts? Filter away!
We're pushing to Android now, iOS shortly, and web will be coming soon.41 -
The guy who did android dev before me in the company i work for, didn't get paid for 2 months, so he moved all the project files he worked on to an empty partition and locked the drive with Windows' BitLocker. He didn't give the password until he was fully paid. I kinda respect that guy.19
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"I was wondering why Monitors sleep and Keyboards don't.
Then it occurred to me that Keyboards have two SHIFTS. 😆😆" -some guy17 -
! Worst thing another dev did in our NodeJS code.
1. No indentation. Literally.
2. A single function in a module worth 1000 lines. I'm not even kidding. No breaking into smaller functions. Just a large rock with a lot of js mess scribbled.
3. No comments at all
4. Sending stray values to promises which were not required at all.
5. No jsdoc. Using camelCase and uppercase interchangeably.2 -
I hate IT managers, how on earth some become ant form of manager is beyond myself.
I have a server with a hardware firewall. A client, based in the UK, with French offices is saying the server blocking their new French IP. I white-listed their IP address, still no luck.
That was a week ago.
After 4 international phone calls and nearly 30 emails I resolved the "issue".
Their so called "IT Manager" sent over the wrong IP. Instead of it starting with 46.* he sent over an IP starting 42.*, which was in fact being correctly blocked.
Suffice to say I charged the client a lot of money for the wasted time and international rate calls.2 -
When you're the only one who likes docker in your team and they're still insisting on using WAMP/XAMPP. Fixing docker bugs and trying to make it work. Push! This is war!2
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Non CS friend: I want to learn Hacking, and Hack Facebook.
Me: That's pretty easy, We'll start with Hacking Twitter today, then tomorrow Facebook.
F: Ya, thats ok.
Me: 1. Login into your Twitter account,
2. Open the account you want to hack,
3. Right click on the tweet, and click inspect element, and Change the tweet as you want.
F: Wowww... Man that's amazing...
*** He believed that he is a hacker for one whole day ***5 -
A few years ago:
In the process of transferring MySQL data to a new disk, I accidentally rm'ed the actual MySQL directory, instead of the symlink that I had previously set up for it.
My guts felt like dropping through to the floor.
In a panic, I asked my colleague: "What did those databases contain?"
C: "Raw data of load tests that were made last week."
Me: "Oh.. does that mean that they aren't needed anymore?"
C: "They already got the results, but might need to refer to the raw data later... why?"
Me: "Uh, I accidentally deleted all the MySQL files... I'm in Big Trouble, aren't I?"
C: "Hmm... with any luck, they might forget that the data even exists. I got your back on this one, just in case."
Luck was indeed on my side, as nobody ever asked about the data again.5 -
Coworker: "Hey do you have 30 minutes? We should debug my broken code together."
Me: *slightly interested in the project he's working on* "Sure, let's do it."
Coworker: *explains the problem for 10 mins*
Me: "Maybe--"
Coworker: "OH here's the problem!" *type type type* *git commit -am 'Fixed'* "Done."
Me: *wants 10 minutes of life back*9 -
Me: We should change the http response code to anything but 200 OK in the error response case of our API.
Other dev: No, it's fine.
Me: Why?
Other dev: The client successfully receives an error message.
Me: ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ノ︵ ┻━┻15 -
So my school forced everyone to buy a Chromebook G4 Education Edition which came with ChromeOS and we had to sign some shady e-policy. Days after I got it, I opened it up and manually reflashed the BIOS so I could use SeaBIOS and install Arch Linux.
Great, so I went on to instal Chrome and it was really slow and performance heavy, then I installed the new Firefox and it ran a lot faster...
*So hehe, Firefox works better than Chrome on a Chromebook!*9 -
When you stare into git, git stares back.
It's fucking infinite.
Me 2 years ago:
"uh was it git fetch or git pull?"
Me 1 year ago:
"Look, I printed these 5 git commands on a laptop sticker, this is all I need for my workflow! branch, pull, commit, merge, push! Git is easy!"
Me now:
"Hold my beer, I'll just do git format-patch -k --stdout HEAD..feature -- script.js | git am -3 -k to steal that file from your branch, then git rebase master && git rebase -i HEAD~$(git rev-list --count master..HEAD) to clean up the commit messages, and a git branch --merged | grep -v "\*" | xargs -n 1 git branch -d to clean up the branches, oh lets see how many words you've added with git diff --word-diff=porcelain | grep -e '^+[^+]' | wc -w, hmm maybe I should alias some of this stuff..."
Do you have any git tricks/favorites which you use so often that you've aliased them?50 -
Found this today! For someone like me who has 30+ tabs open on an average, this is an absolute gem!7
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As a developer, sometimes you hammer away on some useless solo side project for a few weeks. Maybe a small game, a web interface for your home-built storage server, or an app to turn your living room lights on an off.
I often see these posts and graphs here about motivation, about a desire to conceive perfection. You want to create a self-hosted Spotify clone "but better", or you set out to make the best todo app for iOS ever written.
These rants and memes often highlight how you start with this incredible drive, how your code is perfectly clean when you begin. Then it all oscillates between states of panic and surprise, sweat, tears and euphoria, an end in a disillusioned stare at the tangled mess you created, to gather dust forever in some private repository.
Writing a physics engine from scratch was harder than you expected. You needed a lot of ugly code to get your admin panel working in Safari. Some other shiny idea came along, and you decided to bite, even though you feel a burning guilt about the ever growing pile of unfinished failures.
All I want to say is:
No time was lost.
This is how senior developers are born. You strengthen your brain, the calluses on your mind provide you with perseverance to solve problems. Even if (no, *especially* if) you gave up on your project.
Eventually, giving up is good, it's a sign of wisdom an flexibility to focus on the broader domain again.
One of the things I love about failures is how varied they tend to be, how they force you to start seeing overarching patterns.
You don't notice the things you take back from your failures, they slip back sticking to you, undetected.
You get intuitions for strengths and weaknesses in patterns. Whenever you're matching two sparse ordered indexed lists, there's this corner of your brain lighting up on how to do it efficiently. You realize it's not the ORMs which suck, it's the fundamental object-relational impedance mismatch existing in all languages which causes problems, and you feel your fingers tingling whenever you encounter its effects in the future, ready to dive in ever so slightly deeper.
You notice you can suddenly solve completely abstract data problems using the pathfinding logic from your failed game. You realize you can use vector calculations from your physics engine to compare similarities in psychological behavior. You never understood trigonometry in high school, but while building a a deficient robotic Arduino abomination it suddenly started making sense.
You're building intuitions, continuously. These intuitions are grooves which become deeper each time you encounter fundamental patterns. The more variation in environments and topics you expose yourself to, the more permanent these associations become.
Failure is inconsequential, failure even deserves respect, failure builds intuition about patterns. Every single epiphany about similarity in patterns is an incredible victory.
Please, for the love of code...
Start and fail as many projects as you can.30 -
*code doesn't work*
-Run three times, just to be sure
-Its NOT the code, must be the project. Full rebuild.
-Run a few more times after rebuild didn't fix it.
-Google the issue.
-Stackoverflow must be wrong. The code is JUST like their solution.
-Run a few more times, but with your lucky underpants
-Reboot. Must be an operating system thing.
-Tea break. Give the issue time and it will fix itself.
-Run a few more times. Still unfixed
-Contact customer support.
-Walmart said they can't help.
-Consider writing your own language without this OBVIOUS flaw
-Kickstarter for c++++
-Raise $50,000
-Start a family
-Contact customer support again
-Run a few more times
-Now banned from Walmart
-Oh shit, missing a semicolon24