Definately Linus Torvalds

"Software is like sex; it's better when it's free"

"Computer is like an air conditioner, it becomes useless when you open windows"

I honestly owe everything to my buddy in our startup. He has taught me how to think in Javascript and that is why I am where I am. We fight almost everyday on almost everything, but there is Noone I respect more than I respect him..

Soooooo got fired on my day off!! 😁😁😁 Y am I sooo happy??? Bc the company's president sucks, and glad to be gone!!

So, I come in on my day off trying to help him with a promo for an app I was working on, and ass face come in with a chip already on his shoulders.

Him: So what are u going to show me?

Me: A walk through of the app.

Him: No, what specifically are u going to show me?(already getting upset)

Me: The whole app. Like from the login screen and everything else.

Him: No! I need to knw specifically what your going to show me! Like this button, that menu, this function!!!(boiling point)

Me: That's what I said, "the whole app"

Him: Do u want to be suspended a whole week??!!!

Me: (smiling) Yes!!

Him: You knw what, ur gonna tell me what the fuck ur gonna show me or--

Me: Gets up, grab my phone and head towards the door.

Him: If u leave, ur done!!

Me: Dnt care. (Continue out the door)

Him: (yelling) That's it, ur done!

Me: Happy 😁😁😁

My company just announced permanent WFH :(

Famous last words:

Ill just secure my api later during development

The legacy codebase, episode 4584985948:
- outdated comment
- die parentheses space string no-space parentheses
- die AND exit, just to be on the safe side
- won't comment about the screaming boolean
- at least they used triple equals (and yep, that's a font ligature)

When the impostor syndrome hits me, I try to remember my achievements :
- I won a national coding contest when I was 18,
- I made and still maintain a complex app for 15 years, still actively used,
- I cannot count the number of languages I know; too many of them...

Not bragging here, btw. It's just important to actually enumerate your achievements.
If you get hit by the IS, just remember what you did 😉.

Look at how proud Epic is of the Linux support

Can i learn java by own without joining classes

So apparently Outlook can classify emails from Microsoft as spam... 🤦‍♂️

GitHub has launched Codespaces : A feature that lets you code directly on the web {as a virtual Integrated Development Environment (IDE) on the cloud}.

According to the Github Blog: Earlier, to contribute to a project you would need to make a pull request and set up the environment on your local machine according to the requirements of a project. With Codespaces, you don't need to do that anymore. As soon as you click on the code button, the website sets up the environment in seconds.

In addition to Codespaces, GitHub is also launching Discussions : A forum-like feature that lives under your project that allows others to engage with you and other contributors.

Code scanning : With code scanning enabled, every git push is scanned for new potential security vulnerabilities, and results are displayed directly in your pull request.

"Apple and Google will ban the use of location tracking in covid19 contact tracing apps on their stores to ensure user privacy and to prevent governments from using the syatem to compile data on citizens"

AHAHAHAHAHAHA

How to screw with other developers?

Expose postgres at Port 5435.

I spent 15 mins trying to figure out why my dev machine doesn't connect to the RDS instance.

Is it just me sleeping 10+ hours in this covid times and still having problems getting out of bed and concentrating? 🤔

Windows is when your computer just exits it's life via fucken BSOD.

But then there's linux. Half-freezing up, making you switch to tty2 just to see via htop, the machine is essentially idle. Nice. Fuck you.

My coworker is... something else. He's "coded in Java for six years", bear in mind and this is a bit of .py code he's written. First a doNothing() function (probably didn't hear about pass) and then there's about 400 lines of creating values. No iteration whatsoever. I have no idea how he's got the job. Not to mention that whenever he talks about anything technical it's like listening to Gertrude from Accounting talking about 'mouse not working'.

My fav part working from home:

Sexually harass your co-worker at home.
and she cannot go to the manager about it.

Everyone is remote working and executives keep telling non-technical to push their communications into shared channels in Microsoft Teams.

It forces analysts and managers to ask questions plainly. They are getting developer input quickly so aren’t wasting time on in-person meetings. The higher ups see how little many produce. Developers are busy churning out software as usual and responding to technical questions.

Our CEO said something in a channel that suggested he is considering downsizing the management and adding more developers. 😱 The response was that analysts and managers packed the developer schedules with online meetings and are trying to initiate more documentation work.

I don't know who wrote the documentation of react native, but it is at some points obviously wrong.

There is no Coronavirus on Mars.

A pretty safe place to live or we will infect it.

Had to bring up some issues with my instructor to the school, and forgot to print out emails hosted on their Exchange server that show the issue in detail. When I logged in, every email had mysteriously disappeared from my account, but because I document everything about this horseshit school locally, I could still show the exported emails.

The instructor?
Head of IT.

The bastard tried to hide the evidence, but fuck him, Document Everything.

Udemy strikes again with their amazing courses..

So many things wrong in this image that I don't even want to start..

Seriously, who teaches people to write code like that?

I found my 1989 GAMEBOY ... Motherfucker still works like a charm 🥰 now to find my nokia 3310 and I'm ready to travel back in time and escape the COVID19

Job ad title: "junior Php developer position £20k-£25k/pa"

Job ad body: "5+ years experience required in Php, JavaScript, html 5, css, experience in laravel, Vue and react."
🤔

So as millions of americans file for unemployment the state of New Jersey is beging for help from COBOL programmers to keep their 40+ year old unemployment systems running. Who knows COBOL here?

https://qz.com/1832988/...

EDIT: devRant April Fools joke (2020)
-------------------------
We've been at this a few years now, and over the last 6 months we've been working closely with a brand consulting agency, and after numerous developer interviews, surveys and focus groups, we've come to realize "devRant" is simply not capturing the cultural zeitgeist of this new decade. Therefore, we have a bold new brand that will be rolling out over the coming week. devDucks is our bold vision for the future, today. devDucks speaks to a new generation of software engineers who resonate with a more upbeat, optimistic tone when they go to an anonymous web community to swear and lament their current work situation. While we finalize the new logo and other key marketing collateral, we have started a staged roll-out of our new brand styling, including the conversion of all avatars to literal devDucks. We hope this brings more joy to your ranting, as it has to ours. Sincerely, David & Tim (@dfox & @trogus) - devDucks co-founders

Thanks for the $1200 check, US Government! I spent it well...

"Ok guys, since we don't have money left and I have no funds to pay the bills, Let's just do a "work from home" policy"

What the fuck

Unicode 13 just came out.
Yay.

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