Managed a 97% reduction in bandwidth usage for our internal host monitoring tool by converting the dashboard from using AJAX polling to websocket events.

Completely unnecessary but wanted an excuse to do some development with websockets. (:

Walked into the office in the afternoon, everyone was kinda panicking
Asked what was going on, well, the ticket system is not working anymore, can't put in any new tickets.
So I started to look for the issue as well, checked the system and... The last tickets' IDs were at ~32k. Ha. Looked into the source code and, sure enough, they used a data type with an upper limit of... 32k. So when trying to get a new ticket ID it just crashed and burned.
Quickly changed the data type and stopped the office panic in around half an hour.
Memorable not because of how tough the bug was, but because of the impact and the simplicity of the fix

I got recruiter called me at 4:30am. I pick up the phone call and realised that we both share the same timezone. Why .... Wtf.

the one who knocks

A friend broke his leg and installed windows to distract himself from the injury pain.

Pain of using windows is more than the pain of a broken leg.

I haven’t written a single test in my life 🥴😵‍💫

Hi Junior devs, we love you 👋

CSS - Causing Severe Stress 😵

Tech lead in standup 🐤

I feel like devRant is now a study experiment to test how long a software can run without maintenance and how long people are willing to keep using it.

Well today was a good day, after getting fired from my last job I got awarded in my current one. feels good to be appreciated 🙂

I just quit btw

Fuck Microsoft teams

That is all

Messaging me at 4:30pm on a Friday about a high priority issue currently in production.

My reply: a link to the code review from 2 months ago that literally explained the problem and what to do to fix it. That got implemented. Then removed. For some reason...

Feels good.

Anytime you feel down, just remember this.....

Let us pay homage to a classic quote that is so applicable it hurts:

"Poor planning on your part does not necessitate an emergency on mine."

Named a variabile `orgAss`. Noticed in a PR

Leave company loyalty in the 1950s where it belongs. A job will cut you loose at the first sign of trouble! 🚨

if you’re on holiday, please stay on holiday.

The next person that says “top priority” gets their fucking tongue cut out

Work from home now days

Found this potential solution to your boss problems on reddit:

120 people on a conference call can't figure out why an half of the country is having connection timeouts

Why the Fuck would someone disable pasting on a password field!!!! How the fuck am I supposed to enter my shit from my password manager now?

Upgraded :)

Probably the best rejection mail I ever got..

Client: Why doesn't this process work?

Me: For the exact fucking reasons I said it wasn't fucking possible like three fucking times in two separate fucking meetings you fucking retard.

Dear mobile apps devs,

No one's gonna hate you if you do not provide a multilingual support. Just, please, stop using Google Translate and force the app's language to the phone system's. It's just dumb

Sincerely,
A non native english speaker

Accurate 😆

So I got an answer on Stack overflow

Answerer basically said "finding the error is tedious so I re-wrote your code"

They changed about 15 lines in their answer. I combed over it and found that I needed just one.

I put an answer myself, saying which line was missing (as the other answer didn't highlight the actual solution, and rather re-implemented my code)

My clear, concise answer was deleted by moderator for "Not adding anything new" (Except what the exact answer was to my problem, I guess)

Not my fucking problem. Make your own Q&A site harder to use, as if I give a fuck.