Details
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SkillsPython, Javascript, Clojure
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Locationillinois
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Github
Joined devRant on 9/7/2016
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Me, being a lowly junior dev, had the honor of being in a same group chat with a big corporation devOps team.
Finally ready to play with the big boys!!
*opens chat*
DevOps 1: "so we need to remove the CSS cache from our clients computers."
DevOps 2: "ok, well... just delete the server cache"
*watching in awe as they all try to figure out why it's not working*
This continued on for a while...
Until my boss had enough laughs and giggles and put an end to this stupidity :D1 -
Our programming teacher had a surgery on his left eye and will not be able to do the lessons with us. Guess what the subject of the email he sent us was.
"I can't C#."
He made a pun about his fucking health status, alright then.14 -
Sad to see the net nutrality things in US, I guess VPN business wil be booming for the next few days4
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I'm the git master in my group for a uni project as I am the only one with some experience.
This is what I have to deal with20 -
Two months ago, I went to an interview that I thought I aced... Time passed and I heard nothing. Got bummed cause it's one of the rare positions that doesn't require industry experience, plus a friend works there so that would be fun.
Yesterday tho, i received a phone call from said friend saying that he finally got an update on a situation (since the whole thing was kinda in the dark even inside the company).
Apparently, the boss who directly interviewed me fought to the nail to hire me cause I was most qualified (even tho I'm very modest and generally nervous as fuck on interviews), but was denied funds for the new department at the moment.
Still bummed about the whole situation, but god damn it feels great to know that I'm still the first choice if/when they get funds3 -
So, someone submitted a 'bug' to Mozilla.
As some of you may know, in the next year, the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands is going into effect.
Another fun fact is that the dutch security agencies/government have their own CA (Certificate Authority) for SSL/TLS certificates.
The new law says that the AIVD (dutch NSA/GCHQ equivilant) is allowed to hack into systems through obtained certificates and also that they're allowed to INTERCEPT TRAFFIC THROUGH OBTAINED PRIVATE SSL/TLS KEYS.
So someone actually had the fucking balls to submit a fucking issue to Mozilla saying that the Dutch State certs shouldn't be accepted anymore when the new mass surveillance law gets into place.
This person deservers a fucking medal if you ask me.68 -
Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.60
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Imagine, you get employed to restart a software project. They tell you, but first we should get this old software running. It's 'almost finished'.
A WPF application running on a soc ... with a 10" touchscreen on win10, a embedded solution, to control a machine, which has been already sold to customers. You think, 'ok, WTF, why is this happening'?
You open the old software - it crashes immediately.
You open it again but now you are so clever to copy an xml file manually to the root folder and see all of it's beauty for the first time (after waiting for the freezed GUI to become responsive):
* a static logo of the company, taking about 1/5 of the screen horizontally
* circle buttons
* and a navigation interface made in the early 90's from a child
So you click a button and - it crashes.
You restart the software.
You type something like 'abc' in a 'numberfield' - it crashes.
OK ... now you start the application again and try to navigate to another view - and? of course it crashes again.
You are excited to finally open the source code of this masterpiece.
Thank you jesus, the 'dev' who did this, didn't forget to write every business logic in the code behind of the views.
He even managed to put 6 views into one and put all their logig in the code behind!
He doesn't know what binding is or a pattern like MVVM.
But hey, there is also no validation of anything, not even checks for null.
He was so clever to use the GUI as his place to save data and there is a lot of parsing going on here, every time a value changes.
A thread must be something he never heard about - so thats why the GUI always freezes.
You tell them: It would be faster to rewrite the whole thing, because you wouldn't call it even an alpha. Nobody listenes.
Time passes by, new features must be implemented in this abomination, you try to make the cripple walk and everyone keeps asking: 'When we can start the new software?' and the guy who wrote this piece of shit in the first place, tries to give you good advice in coding and is telling you again: 'It was almost finished.' *facepalm*
And you? You would like to do him and humanity a big favour by hiting him hard in the face and breaking his hands, so he can never lay a hand on any keyboard again, to produce something no one serious would ever call code.4 -
Had this a few weeks ago. A customer send an email telling that her emails didn't load anymore in the web interface.
Fair enough, tested it and indeed, no emails while there were definitely emails on the server and nothing in the logs or anything.
Replied saying that I'd look into it.
Few hours later she messaged back all happy about it working again and thanking me so much for all the effort I put into getting it to work again!
My thought at that moment: "oh shit completely forgot about that ticket... Wait it's working again? Oo I didn't do anything... 😅"
Love it how some things just solve themselves haha5 -
Came across: https://krypt.co sounds interesting, because its like an additional 2fa for your ssh key, is locally encrypted, open source, well documented and transparent:
https://krypt.co/docs/security/...
Why is it not much talked about? sounds great so far, but maybe somebody can find the tick? or is using it himself?30 -
Project Manager: "So that's the feature we need you to add... T-shirt size?"
Me: "Depends what shop I go to, sometimes L, sometimes XL-"
Project Manager: "No, no. T-shirt size... Estimate. Small means hours, Medium means days, Large means weeks."
Me: "Oh... 4 hours."
Wtf.10 -
Someone went to HR complaining about never getting a lunch... We're told to work them out amongst ourselves and cover, but he's never once asked us to cover.
So now we HAVE to take lunch and we HAVE to make up that time by staying late or coming in early.
There are days when I'm on a roll and I don't WANT to stop to take lunch. It fucks with my rhythm and I end up breaking shit. We're all adults, why the fuck can't people act like it?8 -
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┻┻┻┻┻┻17 -
Me (6yo): Whatcha doing?
Dad: Programming.
Me: ???
Dad: If I type this on the screen and hit this key *color appeared on screen*
Me: *eyes go wide... Dad is magician*
And here I am nearly 30 years later still learning.2